Cheryl Polote-Williamson - Soul-To-Soul: Married Couples Stories about Growing Together and Becoming One with God

SOUL-TO-SOUL

Published by Purposely Created Publishing Group

Copyright 2019 Cheryl Polote-Williamson

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One of the most critical skills we can have on this planet is being able to establish a relationshipa romantic, business, or platonic relationship. This is something weve shared not only as our personal belief, but also as a teaching point in coaching and guiding individuals to meaningful, lasting connections. The ability to create healthy bonds that can lead to blissful partnerships fortified by effective communication, especially in marriage, is quite elusive but not impossible. While the innate skill to attract the right person and successfully share the same spacesimultaneously learning, growing, creating, and even working together seems rare, with the proper guidance, it can be developed and maintained in nearly anyone seeking dedicated commitment. When we found out Russell and Cheryl shared this belief and desired to teach other couples through mentorship as well as provide a practical guide for single hopefuls, we were glad to show our support for Soul-to-Soul a book we are sure will inspire and encourage others with stories of triumph. We are excited about successful couples sharing how they have grown, developed, and overcome marital problems, nurtured their relationships, built effective communication channels, applied biblical principles, or labored to become the couple they desired.

We are by no means perfect. Youll discover that the couples sharing their personal journeys and advice in this book do not profess being so either. However, we have all figured out how to communicate in a positive way that pushes our families forward and allows us to thrive. Youll read stories of couples that are in ministry together, work together, or serve together. I know with our family, we manage to do these things and still keep family first. It requires skill and balance, but it is doable. And Russell and Cheryl, along with seven other couples, want to show you how. Its time to have real conversations. Its time to develop the hard skills that will be key in your relationships. Lets get Soul-to-Soul and let real couples with real examples show you how!

Jill and Paul Brunson

Author

Entrepreneur

NAACP Image Award Winner

Relationship and Life Coach

Television Personality

Matchmaker Expert

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

Mark 10:9 (NIV)

As with the military, a lasting marriage requires honor, courage, and commitment. Love is truly a battlefield. At some point in your marriage you will be fighting a war, winning a war, as well as sharing the victory and defeat of marital warfare. But, even defeat can be turned into a victory when you have God on your side. So, grab your holy water and armor up!

As people, we all come with baggage and imperfections. We will make mistakes, and we will ask and sometimes beg for forgiveness at some point in all relationships, including marriage. Being married to a military person, well that creates a new category for warfare. The military lifestyle brings about many uncertainties for a marriage. Being in a military marriage requires extra tender love and care. You find yourself feeling like you have no say in your own life. You have to learn to roll with the punches, or in the military world, the orders. Orders are the way the military communicates instructions. They tell you what to do, how to do it, and when it will be done. No if, ands, or buts. Dealing with military orders can be very frustrating for the entire family. As the spouse, you may feel you have no say-so in how you live, where you live, and how long you will live there. For the active duty personnel, you may feel guilty asking your family to put your career first; but, the uniform comes first. It takes priority over everything else. It may not always be that way, but while your spouse serves in uniform the family makes many scarifies, willing or unwilling. So, saying communication is the key to a successful military marriage is an understatement.

In order to survive the battlefield of love and marriage while serving in the military, we created the Marital Rules of Engagement. We had to learn how to truly communicate, respect, trust, love, forgive, and stay committed to each other on the battlefield of marriage. Now we would like to share with you our strategies for having and maintaining a healthy marriage and relationship.

Marital Rule of Engagement #1 - Communication

Marital Rule of Engagement #2 - Respect

Marital Rule of Engagement #3 - Trust

Marital Rule of Engagement #4 - Love

Marital Rule of Engagement #5 - Forgiveness

Marital Rule of Engagement #6 - Commitment

Marital Rule of Engagement #7 - Faith

Keep in mind that men and women may have a different understanding of what each of these words mean; so, we will begin some rules by giving you the Merriam-Websters Dictionary definition, then breaking them down to what we, The Kings, translate them to mean.

Communication as defined by the Merriam-Websters Dictionary is a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs or behavior. We like to emphasize that in a marriage communication requires listening more than you talk. And please remember that listening is not the same thing as hearing. Hearing refers to the sounds you hear. But, when it comes to listening to your spouse, it requires more than that it requires focus. Listening means paying attention to not only the words they say but to the message, the meaning, and the delivery. It requires you to pay attention to his or her body language in and out of the bedroom. Having a lasting marriage requires you to listen to learn as you learn to listen. When you communicate with your spouse you must practice active listening: listen to understand, listen without judgment, and dont interrupt.

1. Practice active listening

If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two tongues and one ear.Mark Twain

When you are actively listening to your partner, you will be inclined to ask clarifying questions such as: What I hear you saying is _____. or Did you mean ______?

2. Listen to understand and show you understood

Listening to understand means that you are not forming your response in your mind. Acknowledge what is being said with a nod, a yes, or an okay. This may seem trivial, but it shows that you are engaged in what is being said and that you comprehend the message.

3. Listen without judgment

Listening without judgment is crucial to a marriage. You have to be open and receptive to what is being said. You have to learn to control your body language, your eye contact, and in some cases rolling your eyes, folding your arms, and shaking your leg in disagreement. Those actions can be very distracting and prevent your partner from opening up in the future.