Adam Pertman - Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution is Transforming Our Families — and America

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Copyright 2011 by Adam Pertman

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Pertman, Adam.
Adoption nation : how the adoption revolution is transforming
our familiesand America / Adam Pertman.Fully rev.
and updated, 10th anniversary ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-55832-716-0 (alk. paper)
1. Adoption-United States. I. Title.
HV875.55.P47 2011
2010047527

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Cover design by Night & Day Design
Interior design by Jennifer Daddio

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To Zack and Emmy,

for making my heart beat and my blood flow.

To Judy,

for transforming every moment into a joyous adventure.

To our children's other parents,

for allowing us to share their magnificent creations.

And to my parents, Frieda and Chaim,

for a lifetime of unconditional love and support.

There is no shortage of books on the topic of adoption, from personal accounts by birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents, to "how-to" manuals on adopting and raising adopted children, to academic research and clinical presentations. But what has been lacking is a comprehensive, up-to-date overview that pulls together and sorts out the often confusing mass of information, and that does so in an engaging and readable way.

In Adoption Nation, Adam Pertman, an adoptive father and a Pulitzer-nominated former journalist, admirably fills this gap, as he did when the original version of this book was published a decade ago. Combining compelling stories with a penetrating and thoughtful analysis of the role of adoption in today's society and its likely future impact, Adoption Nation is an indispensable resource for anyone who wants to learn how this crucial issue is shaping lives. As a bonus, it is also provocative, thoughtful, and a delight to read.

Pertman offers a wealth of valuable information and practical advice for people personally or professionally involved in adoption, including critical insights about navigating the turbulent waters of agencies, lawyers, and facilitators. What truly distinguishes his book, however, is that he also does far more: He shows how adoption impacts our view of ourselves, our changing families, our metamorphosing communities, and our growing connections to a global world. Since it forces us to confront questions about personal identity, the nature of family, the relationships between racial and ethnic communities, and the role of different societies' perspectives on children and families, adoption has long demanded much wider and deeper attention than it has received. In this book, the subject finally gets its due.

Adoption Nation does not shrink from tough issues, and so it will (and should) spark debate. It probably will even upset some readers who would rather not face up to the flaws in an institution that has served their personal or financial needs. But Pertman's goal is always clearly to improve a process he loves; confronting the truth and advocating for reforms are the wise ways he has chosen to show his affection. Indeed, he tackles every aspect of adoption head-on, with keen observations about its strengths and pitfalls: the thicket of conflicting and often archaic laws and regulations; the twists and turns of both domestic and international adoption; society's ambivalence about adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families; the controversies engulfing the adoption of children in foster care; the growing cost of adoption; and the swirl of politics that is enveloping adoption on so many fronts.

Every chapter of Adoption Nation sheds new light on this multifaceted topic, and every page glows with the presence of real people, whose voices give eloquent testimony to the powerful impact of adoption on their own lives and on the cultural fiber of our country. Written with tremendous authority, and an engaging personal voice rare in a book that is at its core an important sociological study, Adoption Nation is must reading for anyone who wants or needs to understand this vital subject, which, as its subtitle indicates, is indeed a historic revolution in the United States. Perhaps most important, Pertman's is the first book that aspires to inform not only people who know they have direct connections to adoption, but everyone whose life is touched by the process, whether they know it or not. Which is to say, nearly everyone. Those who read Adoption Nation will discover just how much they've been missing.

Madelyn Freundlich

Former Policy Director, Children's Rights, Inc.

Former Executive Director, Evan B. Donaldson

Adoption Institute

Seventeen years ago, when Judy and I discovered we couldn't create a family in the old-fashioned way, we knew as much about adoption as we did about annuities. Which is to say, nearly nothing. Moreover, like most Americans, the little we thought we understood was distorted or misguided or wrong. So we formed opinions about the essential elements in our children's livesand in our ownthat were distorted and misguided and wrong.

Thankfully, we've made enormous progress in a very short time, and so has adoption itself. The hows and whys of the transformation are copious, complex, and often subtle; they are the puzzle pieces that I've tried to assemble into this book. But the fact that a seismic cultural shift is occurring is as certain as the growing openness with which adoption, after a painfully long history of secrecy, is finally being practiced.

I was thinking about all this one day when an image popped into my mind. My friend and colleague during the years I worked at The Boston Globe, the award-winning editorial cartoonist Dan Wasserman, has brought it to life. It's an exaggerated view of reality, to be sure, but it reflects a fundamental truth: The revolution has already radically altered public perceptions of a flawed, frustrating, and remarkable institution that answers the prayers and enriches the lives of millions of people every day. I feel blessed to be among them.

"Oh, I'm sorry...you couldn't adopt?"

It doesn't take much to start a revolution of
thought and spirit. It takes one person and
then another and then another. We have to have
the willingness to be respectful of each other
and not to let differences become obstacles.
We have the power to change things.

Lenny Zakim,

human-rights activist and friend (19531999)

My son was three years old and my daughter had lived on this Earth for just two months when I met Sheila Hansen. She's a tall, soft-spoken woman who laughs easily and exudes warmth when she speaks; she has the kind of comfortable self-confidence that immediately makes you think she'd make a loyal friend and a good mother. On that muggy July day, sitting in the conference room of a church in southern New Jersey, she told me a story that chilled me to the bone and forever altered the way I think about my adopted children, about birth parents, and about the country in which I grew up.