Lisa Smith Molinari - The Meat and Potatoes of Life: My True Lit Com

Molinari writes about her naval officer husband, their three children, and her own foibles with love, warmth, and humor.

Jerry Zezima, nationally syndicated humorist and author

a wonderful look inside the kind of family we all want to invite home to dinner.

Amy Newmark, editor-in-chief, Chicken Soup for the Soul

A wry and lighthearted journey through the seasons of family life.

W. Bruce Cameron, #1 New York Times bestselling author of A Dogs Purpose

Molinari writes about the illusive perfect family with poignancy and humorshe embraces the chaos of everyday lifeand her own vulnerabilitiesthrough engaging stories that resonate.Her writing is pure Erma Bombeck.

Teri Rizvi, founder and director of the Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop

Molinari has written a hilariously honest, beautifully engaging, and vividly written memoir of her life as a military spouse, the mother of fabulously eccentric and demanding childreninsight and revelationsignature wit on every page. A must-read.

Gina Barreca, author of They Used to Call Me Snow WhiteBut I Drifted

blend(s) belly-shaking laughs with poignancy The Meat and Potatoes of Life is hearty fare, and I share my highest accolade: I kept saying to my husband, Oh, please let me read this chapter to you! Suzette Martinez Standring, author of The Art of Opinion Writing

The Meat and Potatoes of Life: My True Lit Com
2020 Lisa Smith Molinari

All rights reserved. The content of this book may not be reproduced by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher.

This book is a memoir, reflecting the authors recollection of actual events. Every effort has been made to tell the truth, the whole truth, and sometimes an exaggerated version of the truth. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Front cover illustration, hand lettering, and book design by Jessie Barnes for Elva Resa. Senior editor Terri Barnes.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Molinari, Lisa Smith, 1966- author.

Title: The meat and potatoes of life : my true lit com / Lisa Smith Molinari.

Description: Saint Paul : Elva Resa, [2020] | Summary: Humorous memoir of an attorney who leaves her law career to become a navy wife and stay at home mom of three -- Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2019049231 (print) | LCCN 2019049232 (ebook) | ISBN 9781934617540 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781934617557 (epub) | ISBN 9781934617564 (kindle edition)

Subjects: LCSH: Military spouses--United States--Social conditions. | Navy spouses--United States--Anecdotes. | United States. Navy--Military life--Anecdotes. | Military spouses--United States--Anecdotes. | Children of military personnel--United States--Anecdotes.

Classification: LCC UB403 .M65 2020 (print) | LCC UB403 (ebook) | DDC 359.1/20973--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019049231

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019049232

Published by

Elva Resa Publishing

8362 Tamarack Vlg., Ste. 119-106

St. Paul, MN 55125

ElvaResa.com

MilitaryFamilyBooks.com

For Hayden, Anna, and Lilly.
I love you more than life itself.

Now go empty the dishwasher.

M y family life reminds me of a television sitcom. Although the script does not follow a three-act formula, we dont take commercial breaks, and there is no studio audience, we do have scenes and subplots, heroes and anti-heroes, problems, solutions, and plenty of comic relief. Unlike sitcoms that end with a heartwarming or hilarious message, the meaning in my reality is not always clear. It often gets muddled with the trivial, mundane, and chaotic details in my daily routine. I have to peel away the layers to find my own hidden story arc.

These are the stories that helped me stay afloat over the last decade.

Each season represents an era in our family life, starting with marriage and progressing from the honeymoon to changing diapers, pee-wee soccer to itemizing deductions, middle school dances to drivers permits, summer vacations to sassy teenagers, college visits to an empty nest.

Each episode involves the same cast of eccentric characters: The lovable husband who doesnt know the difference between a flat-head and a Phillips screwdriver. The harried mom who hides an emergency can of Pringles in the laundry room. The quirky son who gives one-word answers to every question. The fashion-conscious daughter who milks her victimization as the middle child. The fun-loving youngest child who lives on social media. And the family dog, the only one who seems to have it all figured out.

Our perspective as a navy family also makes frequent appearances, adding another dimension to experiences and events common to many families.

So grab some kettle corn and a bottle of cheap pinot noirthey pair well, I promisesnuggle up on the couch, and get ready to laugh, cry, and rediscover the meaning hidden in the madness of modern family life.

L ife was so much simpler when I was a kid.

I didnt wake up in the morning worrying about social media profiles, glycemic indexes, or incandescent bulbs. I thumped out of bed, blissfully ignorant that my polyester nightgown was highly-flammable. I removed the faux-denim strap of my orthodontic headgear before padding off to the kitchen for a bowl of Capn Crunch or non-free-range eggs with buttered Wonder Bread, washed down with Donald Duck orange juice from a can.

Over breakfast, I wondered what the day might bring.

Would Mom agree to drop me off at the pool if I waited until she was done sunbathing in the back yard in her rollers? Would the kid next door want to come over to play, or was there still a beehive in the metal tube of our swing set? Would Dad let me ride my banana-seat Schwinn into town if I promised to pick him up a pack of Salems from the pull-lever cigarette machine in the Capitol Diner on the way home?

My biggest worry was whether my older brother, Tray, and his trouble-making friends would chase me around the neighborhood again with dog poop speared on a stick.

As a teen, I slogged through school gauging my enjoyment of each day by such mundane triumphs as staying awake in geometry class and finding peanut butter bars on the cafeteria lunch menu. At night, I talked to my best friend, Patti, for hours on my bedroom telephone, sorting out our insecurities and dreaming of being popular. On weekends, wed sneak into the local drive-in theater, walk around the mall slurping Orange Juliuses, or borrow her parents station wagon to cruise past the local arcade in hopes the boys would stop playing Asteroids long enough to notice us.

Although I feared my lack of curling iron skills could potentially leave me without a boyfriend, I had no real worries other than a normal dose of teen angst.

Years later when I became a wife and mother, I began to wonder, Why, after such a carefree upbringing, am I ridden with guilt over using plastic grocery bags or the wrong sugar substitute? Why does my eye twitch when I hear my smartphone message notifications? And why do I hyperventilate when the DVR reaches ninety-eight percent?