Lisa Swerling - The Worlds Best Dad Jokes for Kids Volume 3: Every Single One Illustrated

What do rabbits use in the shower? Hare conditioner. What did the fog say to the boat? I mist you. Which country has lots of dinnerware? The United Plates of America. What do you call two bananas? A pair of slippers. What did the computer do to his foot when he lost his shoe? He rebooted it. Whats a dogs favorite instrument? A trombone.

What was the bunnys favorite music?

Hip-hop. Where do pencils spend their vacations? In Pencilvania. What do you call a tired pea? Sleep-pea. What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey. What lights up a sports stadium? A soccer match. What happens to spoons that overwork? They go stir-crazy.

I saw a kidnapping today.

I decided not to wake him up. When a clown farts ... ... does it smell funny? If you ever need an ark ... ...

I Noah guy. What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?

Felippe Fallop. He used to be a banker. But then he lost interest. He told a bad chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

Jokes about German sausages ...

... really are the wurst! What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey. Sometimes I tuck my knees into chest and lean forward. Its just how I roll. What noise does a nut make when it sneezes? CASHEW! What goes hahahahaHAHAhaha-THUMP? A monster laughing his head off.

What kind of room can you eat?

A mushroom. How do tuna and cod watch the news? On telefishion. Which is fastest, cold or heat? Heat. Because you can catch a cold. What was the dentists favorite course in college? Flossophy. How does a monster count to 19? On his fingers.

Doctor doctor, I havent slept for days!

Why not? Because I sleep at night. What do you find in the middle of the ocean? The letter e. Who delivers gifts to dogs on Christmas Eve? Santa Paws. She has an addiction to cheddar chees e ... ... but its only mild.