Sandy Silverthorne - Made You Laugh!: Jokes for Kids

2020 by Sandy Silverthorne Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks .com Ebook edition created 2020 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC. ISBN 978-1-4934-2328-6 The author is represented by WordServe Literary Group www.wordserveliterary.com. Q: What kind of bee cant make up its mind? A: A maybee. Q: What kind of bee cant make up its mind? A: A maybee.

Patient: Doctor! Im convinced Im a pumpkin. Can you help me? Psychiatrist: Sure, I think I can carve out some time in my schedule. Patient: I keep dreaming Im in a washing machine. Doctor: Wow! What happens? Patient: I toss and turn all night. Q: What has lots of ears but cant hear? A: A cornfield. Knock, knock.

Whos there? Ammonia. Ammonia who? Ammonia little kid. What do you expect? Q: What do you call a droid who always takes the long way? A: R2Detour. Q: How do you make a lemon drop? A: Just let it fall. Q: What do you call a duck who gets straight As? A: A wise quacker. Q: How do you talk to a giant? A: Use big words.

Q: What do you call two birds who are in love? A: Tweethearts. Q: How does a scientist keep his breath sweet? A: With experi-mints. Sunday School Teacher: Why is it important to be quiet in church? Kid: Because people are sleeping? Teacher: Nick, who invented fractions? Nick: Henry the 1/8th? Rowan: I went riding this afternoon. Remy: Horseback? Rowan: He sure is. He got back about an hour before I did. Q: Where does Pharaoh go for his back pain? A: To the Cairo-practor.

Reporter: How did you like that new restaurant on Mars? Astronaut: The food was great, but there wasnt much atmosphere. Q: What did the astronaut say when he crashed into the moon? A: I Apollo-gize. Ron: How do pickles enjoy the weekend? Jon: They relish it. Bill: What do you call an old snowman? Phil: Water. Tongue Twisters Tie twine to three tree twigs. She should shun the shining sun.

Fred threw thirty-three free throws. Skunks sat on a stump, and the stump stunk. Mix, miss, mix. Q: What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot? A: A walkie-talkie. Ben: How do novels stay warm? Len: They put on their book jackets. Aiden: Did you see that cop dressed as a pilot? Caden: Yeah, I guess hes a plane-clothes officer.

As soon as you find out someone has ten thousand bees, marry them. Thats when you know theyre a keeper. Tourist: Whats the fastest way to get downtown? Local: Are you walking or driving? Tourist: Driving. Local: Thats the fastest way. When someone tells me to stop acting like a flamingo, thats when I put my foot down. Knock, knock.

Whos there? Yule log. Yule log who? Yule log the door after I come in, wont you? If a gang of robbers all jumped into a pool at once, would that be called a crime wave? Al: I told my boss that three companies were after me and I needed a raise. Sal: What companies? Al: Gas, water, and electric. My uncle used to be a banker, but then he lost interest. Q: What goes ha, ha, ha, plop ? A: Someone laughing their head off. Q: What did the beaver say to the tree? A: Its been nice gnawing you.

Q: Whats the difference between your elbow and a rabbits cell phone? A: Ones a funny bone, and the others a bunnys phone. Jenny: How do porcupines play leapfrog? Benny: Very carefully. Q: What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a balloon? A: POP! Bill: How do chickens dance? Jill: Chick to chick. Hannah: What goes dot-dot , dash- dash , squeak-squeak ? Anna: A message in Mouse code. Q: What do you call a pan flying through space? A: An Unidentified Frying Object. Iris: Why did the astronaut bring scissors, paper, string, and glue on his trip? Bo: He wanted to do spacecrafts.

Q: Whats an astronauts favorite beverage? A: Gravi-tea. Q: How do you make a baby go to sleep in space? A: You rocket. Q: Whats a cows favorite party game? A: Mooo-sical chairs. It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty, but he had a great fall. Len: What did the bankrupt cat say? Ben: Im paw. Mike: Which nail does a carpenter hate to hit? Ike: His thumbnail.

Joe: Why was the archaeologist upset? Bo: Because his career was in ruins. Ron: How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb? Don: Only one, but he changes it into a rabbit. Q: Where do geologists like to spend their time? A: At rock festivals. Terry: Why did the bank teller stand right next to the vault? Jerry: He wanted to be on the safe side. Joe: My dad gets paid for making faces. Flo: Wow! Where does he work? Joe: In a clock factory.

Ed: Why dont hot dogs act in the movies? Ned: The rolls are never good enough. Q: Whats a trees favorite drink? A: Root beer. Chloe: Whats tall, French, and delicious? Kylie: The Trifle Tower. Q: What did the scissors say to the hair? A: It wont be long now. Q: Whats a frogs favorite year? A: Leap year. Q: Whats green, hops, and can be heard for miles? A: A froghorn.

Knock, knock. Whos there? House. House who? House it going? Knock, knock. Whos there? Alaska. Alaska who? Alaska only once. Open the door! Knock, knock.

Whos there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to know? Mason: Why did Sammy run past his classroom? Jason: He wanted to pass his test. Randy: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses in her classroom? Andy: Because all of her students were so bright. Camper: How do you know thats a dogwood tree? Ranger: I can tell by its bark. Q: What illness can a plane catch? A: The flew. Ron: What was the spider doing on the computer? Don: Designing a website.