Zondervan - Lots of Jokes for Kids

Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Psalm 126:2 ZONDERKIDZ Lots of Jokes for Kids Copyright 2015 by Zonderkidz Requests for information should be addressed to: Zonderkidz, 3900 Sparks Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546 ePub Edition April 2015: ISBN 978-0-310-75049-9 All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher. Zonderkidz is a trademark of Zondervan. Cover design: Brand NavigationInterior design: Denise Froehlich 15 16 17 18 19 20 /DCI/ 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Table of ContentsNote to Kids: Looking for some fun? Want to be silly? Giggle a little? Belly laugh? Then youve come to the right place.

This is an awesome collection of really great jokes... OK... so some are corny, some are crazy, and some will make you roll your eyes, but thats what jokes are all about, right? And this collection is even more special because every joke in here is good for everyone... from your best friends in the whole world Joe and Katey, to mom and dad, to grandma and grandpa, Pastor Joe and Miss Talent, the kindergarten teacher... we mean everyone. What do you call a bee having a bad hair day? A Frisbee. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He was feeling crumby. What does a ghost wear in the rain? Boooooots. Why was the math book upset? It had a lot of problems. Why was the math book upset? It had a lot of problems.

What has four legs but cant walk? A chair. Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor? Because he was jumpy. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling. Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them. How do you make an egg roll? Push it. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.

Why did the lady want wheels on her rocking chair? So she could rock and roll. Why was the car so smelly? It had too much gas. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing. Who can shave six times a day, but still have a beard? A barber. How do you make seven an even number? Take the S out. Why were the ink spots crying? Because their mother was in the pen.

What did one flag say to the other flag? Nothing. It just waved. What do you get when you stack a bunch of pizzas? The Leaning Tower of Pizza. Did you hear about the kid who drank 8 lemonades? He burped 7 up. Where do smart hot dogs go? To the honor roll. What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? Firecrackers.

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because he ran out of juice. What did the egg say to the person? You crack me up. Which nut sneezes a lot? A cashew. What do you get if you eat beans and onions? Tear gas. What is brown and sticky? A stick. Whats black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

Why shouldnt you play hide and seek with a mountain? Because it always peeks. Why was the cook frustrated? He was running out of thyme. Why did the policeman stay in bed? He was undercover. What did summer say to winter? Help. Im going to fall. When is a vet the busiest? When it is raining cats and dogs.

Who stole the soap from the bathtub? The robber duckie. What do you call a potato that watches football? A spec-tator. What is the oceans favorite subject? Current events. What do you call a wheel that gives speeches? A spokesman. What kind of match cant be set on fire? A tennis match. Why cant you tell jokes on the ice? It will crack up.

Who is the shortest person in the Bible? Knee-high-miah. Why doesnt anyone want to be friends with a clock? All it does is tock-tock-tock. Why did the little girls tooth fall out? Because it was looth. What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me, something smells. Why do bees have sticky hair? They use honeycombs. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

Why cant you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things, literally. Why do bankers eat by themselves? Theyre loaners. Why did the computer crash? It had a bad driver. What are all of Jaws clothes made from? Denim... Denim... What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid. What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid.

What time do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn. When do astronauts eat? At launch time. What is a ghosts favorite position in soccer? Ghoul keeper. What is a cheerleaders favorite color? Yeller. What did one volcano say to the other volcano? I lava you. Why didnt the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? Because it had more cents.

What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark? Floodlights. Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights. Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has reigned there for years. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because his class was so bright. Why were the teachers eyes crossed? She couldnt control her pupils. Why did the policeman go to the baseball game? He heard someone had stolen a base.

What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits. How can you tell the ocean is friendly? It waves. When is the moon the heaviest? When its full. Whats a tornados favorite game? Twister. What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up. What kind of tree can fit into your hand? A palm tree.

What makes music on your head? A headband. Why did the belt get locked up? He held up a pair of pants. What did the windmill say when she met her favorite movie star? Nice to meet you. Im a BIG FAN. What did the blanket say to the bed? Dont worry, Ive got you covered. Why did the house go to the doctor? It had window panes.

What has a head and a tail but no body? A coin. Where do snowmen go to dance? A snowball. What is a witchs favorite subject in school? Spelling. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck. What is easy to get into but hard to get out of? Trouble. Why did the poor man sell yeast? To make some dough.