Sandy Silverthorne - Crack Yourself Up Jokes for Kids

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Cover

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Title Page

Copyright Page

2018 by Sandy Silverthorne Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks.com ISBN 978-0-8007-2969-1 Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews. Author is represented by WordServe Literary Group (www.wordserveliterary.com)

Dedication

To Vicki and Christy
You guys are such a huge gift to me. You always make me smile. Thanks for not minding when I crack myself up.

And to the kids whom I have the privilege to speak to every yearyoure the best!

Contents

Introduction

D o you like to crack your friends up? Do you like to crack your parents up? How about your teachers? Your brothers and sisters? Most of all, do you like to crack yourself up? Then you came to the right place. This fun, crazy joke book is filled with the greatest jokes, stories, knock knocks, and riddles in the world. Its also got some really nutty cartoons to go along with them. So get to it. Get ready to read. Get ready to chuckle.

And get ready to crack yourself up!

About the Author

Sandy Silverthorne has been writing and illustrating books since 1988 and currently has over 600,000 copies in print. His award-winning Great Bible Adventure childrens series sold over 170,000 copies and has been distributed in eight languages worldwide. Hes written and illustrated over thirty books and has worked with such diverse clients as Universal Studios Tour, Doubleday Publishers, Penguin, World Vision, the University of Oregon, the Charlotte Hornets, and the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. His recent series One-Minute Mysteries has already sold over 160,000 copies. Sandy has worked as a cartoonist, author, illustrator, actor, pastor, speaker, and comedian. Apparently its hard for him to focus.

Connect with him at sandysilverthornebooks.com

Books by Author

The Great Bible Adventure The All-Time Awesome Bible Search In Search of Righteous Radicals The Awesome Book of Bible Facts Boris Is Missing! Marpel Is Stuck! Sarah Is Scared! Gregory Is Grouchy ReaLife Devotional Bible Surviving Middle School Surviving When Youre Home Alone Surviving Zits One-Minute Mysteries and Brain Teasers Return of the One-Minute Mysteries and Brain Teasers Mind-Boggling One-Minute Mysteries 101 Awesome Bible Facts for Kids Wild and Wacky Bible Stories for Kids The Awesome Book of Unusual Bible Heroes for Kids Amazing Tips to Make You Smarter Two Truths and a Tall Tale The Awesome Book of Bible Comics

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Back Cover

Crack Yourself Up Jokes

Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A: A tuba toothpaste. Q: Whats red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the ark? A: Flood lights. Q: Where do pencils go on vacation? A: Pencilvania. Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? A: SUPPLIES! Q: What did the ocean say to the shore? A: Nothing; it just waved.

Q: What do porcupines say when they kiss? A: Ouch. If Ella from Ella Enchanted married Darth Vader would she be Ella Vader?

Mason:	How can you make sure you never wake up sleepy and grumpy?
Jason:	Dont have a sleepover with the Seven Dwarfs.

Bill:	My grades are underwater.
Phil:	What do you mean?
Bill:	Theyre below C level.

Terry:	When they built the Great Wall of China where did the workers go for supplies?
Jerry:	Wal-Mart of course.

If Cardinal Sicola were to become the pope, would he be Pope Sicola? Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter? A: Patty.

Jim:	Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Tim:	Its so much faster than walking.

Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A: Same middle name. Q: What do you call a pile of kittens? A: A meowtain. Q: Whats red and goes up and down? A: A tomato in an elevator.

Little Girl:	Mommy, youve got some gray hairs.
Mom:	Yes, every time you dont behave, I get another gray hair.
Little Girl:	Is that why Grandma has so many?

Ron:	Come see this photo of my aunt.
Don:	Thats a picture of a fish!
Ron:	I know. Little Girl: Mommy, youve got some gray hairs. Mom: Yes, every time you dont behave, I get another gray hair. Little Girl: Is that why Grandma has so many? Ron: Come see this photo of my aunt. Don: Thats a picture of a fish! Ron: I know. Its my anchovy! Teacher: Samuel, use the word boycott in a sentence. Samuel: The boycott four fish and his sister only caught three. Teacher: Sophie, use the word information in a sentence. Sophie: Ducks fly information when theyre heading south. A guy walks into a lawyers office and asks what he charges. I charge $1,000 for three questions, the lawyer answered. Wow, thats pretty expensive isnt it? the man said. Yes it is, said the lawyer. Whats your third question? I couldnt believe it when the Highway Department called my dad a thief. But when I got home all the signs were there. Knock, knock. Whos there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in! Were freezing out here! Knock, knock. Whos there? Pizza. Pizza who? Pizza really great guy, dont you think? Knock, knock. Whos there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes your father speaking. Open the door!

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