Anne Ford - On Their Own: Creating an Independent Future for Your Adult Child With Learning Disabilities and ADHD: A Family Guide

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Table of Contents

forOn Their Own

On Their Own answers every question you might have about unwrapping the gifts found in people with dyslexia, ADHD, and other kinds of interesting minds. Easy to read, deftly organized, painstakingly researched, and deeply felt, this book will inform and inspire all who read it. I could not recommend this book more highly.

Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of Driven to Distraction
and Delivered from Distraction

With a deep understanding of the worries that are universal to parents of children with disabilities, Anne Ford has managed to provide down-to-earth, practical advice on every area that affects an adult childs future and ability to live independently: school, work, social life, financial well-being.

Sally Shaywitz, M.D., author of Overcoming Dyslexia

With the heart of a devoted parent and a wisdom born of personal experience, Anne Ford guides the reader along a path that, although not always straight, wide, and smooth, is honest and full of hope and promise. On Their Own provides a resource for parents to acquire the tools necessary to ensure that their child with learning disabilities and ADHD will be productive, enjoy a true sense of belonging, and be fully equipped to successfully join in the pursuit of happiness.

Emerson Dickman, J.D., President, International Dyslexia Association

Having met the challenges of a child with learning disabilities head-on, Anne Ford is the perfect guide to help the rest of us see our children through the transitions they will meet throughout life. The strength, compassion, concern, and practical advice she shares in On Their Own are an inspiration and a godsend.

Henry Winkler, author of the Hank Zipzer childrens books

On Their Own is a wonderful companion piece to Laughing Allegra. Together, they represent some of the most useful insights on students with learning disabilities that I have seen. Intended originally as a resource for parents, these books should be required reading for teachers as well.

Joel Klein, Chancellor, New York City Department of Education

In On Their Own, Anne Ford taps deeply into her personal experience as a mother to offer every parent of an adult child with learning disabilities or conduct disorders a wise, warm, and witty roadmap that will enrich the lives of those parents and their children.

Joseph A. Califano, Jr., Chairman and President,
National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse

This is a remarkably helpful book for parents and families who are dealing with the impact of learning disabilities as their children move up and outinto college, the workplace, and a life of their own. Anne Ford understands this journey, and she makes it understandable and doable for her readerswith insight, candor, and optimism.

James Wendorf, Executive Director,
National Center for Learning Disabilities

The lifelong issues surrounding learning disabilities do not disappear, but shift and change as our children grow into adults. For many families, the struggle to accept our children for who they are, to accept and honor this person we have raised, is a lifelong journey. This is a book filled with personal insights, tough observations, and important resources. It is truly a family guide to supporting children and adults with learning disabilities in all phases of transition and growth.

Ann Kornblet, advocate for people with LD

SALLY SHAYWITZ, M.D.

With the shocking words, No, Im sorry, we cant take her, she doesnt belong here, five-year-old Allegra was rejected from kindergarten and her mother, Anne Ford, jolted onto the uncharted pathway those with learning disabilities (LD) must learn to navigate if they are to survive, much less thrive.

What will become of my daughter? What kind of life will she have? What about her future? What can I do to help my child? In my research at the Yale University School of Medicine, these are the universal questions that every parent of an LD child puts before me as I begin to evaluate her child. In On Their Own, Anne Ford has written the answer to these parents prayers. Based on her own journey, and lessons learned along the way as a single mother of Allegraan attractive, sweet, now thirtysomething woman diagnosed with severe, multiple learning disabilities at the age of fiveOn Their Own is intensely personal and at the same time highly informative.

Anne Ford is an extraordinary observer of the human condition. She knows and understands human nature and, at the same time, is a fierce protector of her daughter. Combining an unusual sensitivity with a dispassionate, no-nonsense examination of the range of life issues affecting an adult with LD, Anne provides an indispensable guide for families who are responsible for an adult LD son or daughter. She is every woman, vulnerable and yet tough; trusting and yet cautious; worried but ever hopeful; tenacious in her pursuit of any and all knowledge that could have a positive impact on Allegras life. In On Their Own, she becomes our trusted companion, a wise, knowledgeable, and compassionate guide who gently takes our hand as she helps us find our way through the mysterious maze of letting go of adult children with disabilities. With a velvet glove and a sure hand, she illuminates the road ahead, always alerting the reader to potential roadblocks, suggesting the best direction to take, all the while giving practical, down-to-earth advice.

In her pursuit of the best possible adult life for her beloved Allegra, Anne Ford has had to dissect each of the small and large pieces that fit together to make a life whole and satisfying: how to protect and yet encourage independence; how to love and yet not smother; how to provide for and yet encourage self-reliance and choice; how to live in todays world and yet allow the natural feelings of a mature adult woman to express themselves safely; how to protect a vulnerable adult and yet give her confidence to make decisions and especially to make mistakes. Through discussions, anecdotes, and provision of hard data and extremely helpful but concise lists, Anne tackles each of these difficult dilemmas and provides the gift of experience.

All readers will learn something new here or, more likely, many new things that they can take and use to make life better for themselves and their adult child. Anne addresses each of the important, often challenging issues on the road to adulthood. Eventually most children with severe LD graduate from high school. What next? Is college a realistic possibility? Initially, based on her past experience with schooling, Anne viewed college for Allegra with equal amounts of skepticism and pessimism. But as she gathered new information she changed her perceptions to consider a new range of possibilities: community colleges, trade schools, and non-degree certificate programs. She emphasizes that this is about our child, not us, hard though it may be to come to terms with that reality.

On Their Own provides the cold, hard details, but always wrapped in the warm embrace of love and the practical ease of doing. Anne always has the long view in mind, the adult future of an LD child. This book is, after all, about life, and so each milestone is connected to what came before and what this will lead to in the future.

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