Page Turner - Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory

I ts amazing how quickly things change. Or how a single piece of information can make such a difference, even when essentially nothings really changed at all.

After years of working crappy jobs for crappy pay, my husband Seth and I were finally starting to gain some traction. We took turns going back to school. I went first and earned an associates degree and now had a good job that paid well.

After two years of taking gen eds at community college, Seth had cleaned up his grades enough to qualify for admission to the University of Maine. The only obstacle was the 40-minute drive each way.

In good weather, it was a minor annoyance, but in blizzard conditions, an inevitability with Maine winters, exacerbated further by Seths gun shy attitude towards bad roads, such a commute would certainly mean absences and, by extension, failure. To deal with this preemptively, he and I moved to an apartment near the university.

We wanted to make the new place feel as much like home as possible, so we threw a party. It was impromptu, last minute, so only John, Megan, and Tara could make it, but a gathering of five would make for a good time. Not a full-on rager or anything, but more booze for the rest of us.

And drink we did. Seth had always been a heavyweight when it came to alcohol tolerance, but the other four of us were anything but, and before long, wed all loosened up considerably, and as the conversation ebbed and flowed, it seemed the right time to address with Megan something Id been rolling around in my head for a while. I had noticed that her husband, Pete, was acting strangely with a female coworker and started to suspect he was having an affair.

As I began to voice my concerns about some of Petes behavior, she started to laugh and stopped me.

Hes seeing her, Megan said. But he has my permission. One hundred percent.

She explained that they had a polyamorous relationship and that their marriage had been open for over a year. Because of childcare issues and her work obligations, their schedule really only allowed Pete to have relationships, but she assured me that she was happy for her husband and that his seeing other people had added a lot of passion to their relationship.

I was riveted, floored by the revelation. Megan and Pete had been our friends for years.

It wasnt that the idea of ethical non-monogamy as a format for long-term relationships had never occurred to me. Id run into it a few times in my travels.

At 17, attending summer jazz workshops, I made friends with a hippie gentleman in his late 50s (a jazz violinist) who had an open marriage and informed me that if Id been 18, he would have liked to date me.

A few years later, I had a boyfriend who had formerly been in a 2-year relationship with two women, the three of them committed and living together as a unit. I was also quite familiar with swingers, no strings attached one-night stands, and drunken party orgies.

What was mind boggling was how invisible the nontraditional arrangement had been, low drama and harmonious to the point that this had been going on for a while, and Id never known or sensed that there was any trouble in paradise.

And if anything, Megan and Pete had seemed more conservative than Seth and me. Like Barbie had married GI Joe and had 2 kids from a cereal commercial.

This was shocking.

Id like to say I was extremely mature, open minded, and instantly accepting of her open marriage.

That, however, would be a lie.

It was the first time Id even heard the word polyamory. This was 2009. In rural Maine.

I was pretty skeptical.

We poured more drinks, chatted a bit more. Already low inhibitions limboed even lower as the liquor flowed.

Ive always wondered what itd be like to kiss another girl, Megan said to me. Youre always talking about your ex-girlfriends, and I get so jealous.

Oh? Youve never kissed a girl? I said. Its... nice. Its different than kissing guys but the same. I know, helpful, right?

Oh my fucking God already! Seth said. You two should totally kiss.

Yes, John agreed. For... science.

For totally hot science, Seth added.

Well, Im all for education, but... I hesitated. But? But why? Why was I so nervous? What was my problem? Seth didnt have a problem with it. He was actively encouraging me. And Id had a crush on Megan for ages. Still, I floundered.

For one, Ive never been a fan of girl-on-girl action as a performance to turn men on. To me, its unwelcome objectification that demeans the authenticity of the physical connection that Ive felt with other women by turning it into some kind of show. Not only that, but I still had serious reservations about being non-exclusive, even casually, recreationally, in a party setting.

Then Megan made it easy for me. Honestly, Id rather kiss Tara, Megan said. No offense, Page.

Its fine, I said. We all have our preferences.

I was hardly surprised. Tara was young and beautiful, tall and lean with curves in all the right places prancing around in heels and hot pants with legs that went on forever.

But even though I wasnt surprised, it still hurt.

After years of telecommuting from home at a desk job, Id packed on the pounds and was a rather large woman. I wore a size 26. I was jovial and friendly, to be sure, but hardly a picture of the sexual ideal, waddling around in sweat pants and sneakers with the laces untied. Most people in Megans situation would have preferred Tara.

But before I knew what happened, I was pounced, and it was Tara that was kissing me, her arms locked around me, her tongue exploring my mouth. It was surreal but glorious. She was drunk and forceful, but her passion was evident, and I melted into the first kiss Id shared with a woman in over 8 years. I dont know how long it lasted. It felt like forever and yet ended much too soon. When it was over, I kissed her on the forehead and said, Wow. Thank you.

Now you two kiss, John said, gesturing to Tara and Megan. They did. I watched them, still reeling with desire from kissing Tara. Megans hands traveled all over Taras body, feeling her shape as Tara moaned into her mouth. It was amazingly erotic.

And you two, John said, connecting Megan and me.