Mawi Asgedom - The Code: The 5 Secrets of Teen Success

Copyright 2003 by Mawi Asgedom

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

In order to respect the anonymity of certain individuals mentioned in this book, identities and certain details have been modified.

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First eBook Edition: October 2007

ISBN: 978-0-316-03060-1

Also by Mawi Asgedom:

OF BEETLES AND ANGELS

To my brother Tewolde

May The Code inspire others
half as much as you inspire me.

AUTHOR WARNING

The Code may cause some or all of the following effects:

Anxiety resulting from too many dating opportunities

Nausea caused by a sudden rise in grade point average

Fever due to increased warmth from friends and family

Confusion caused by piles of college acceptance letters

Dizziness resulting from skyrocketing self-confidence

PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Introduction

A s soon as I had finished my speech, I saw them moving toward me. A teenage boy, head bowed, like a prisoner being marched to jail. Behind him, his mother, pushing him forward. Since their school's assembly had just ended, other students lingered nearby.

The mother, brimming with confidence, grabbed my hand and shared her problem.

Mawi, she said, I told my son that he shouldn't dye his hair. He should have enough self-confidence based on how he is naturally. But he keeps arguing with me. Can you tell him that he doesn't need to change to stand out?

Dang! Either the son or the mom was gonna be mad at me!

I hear you, I told her. Self-confidence is definitely the number one thing a teenager needs, and I'm glad you're teaching your son to value himself.

To be honest with you, though, I continued, I think he can have self-esteem with dyed hair. I never dyed my hair, but I used to let my friends shave designs into the back of my head, and we had a blast with it.

Since you're the parent, it's your decision. But my honest opinion is that you should let him do it. Show him that he's cool, with or without dyed hair, and that you'll always support him for what's inside him.

The mom's jaw dropped halfway to the floor. She'd been sure I would side with her just because she was the parent.

But that's not what I'm about. And that's not what this book is about. This book isn't about taking sides between parents and teenagers. It's not about preaching old-fashioned messages.

It's about being honest. I promise you that in this book, I'll be honest. I'll be straight-up. I'll tell you what I think, and I won't water it down, because I'm not writing it to satisfy any particular reader. I'm writing it because I want to give you knowledge that can change your life.

Before I go any further, though, let me introduce myself and explain how I learned about success.

Who Am I?

My name is Selamawi Haileab Asgedom Mawi, for short and I shouldn't even be around to write this book. I should have died a long time ago eaten by a hyena, killed by black fever, or blown up by a rebel group. But I wasn't killed. I've made it to age twenty-six and feel blessed to be here now.

I was born half a world away in Ethiopia, in a small town called Adi Wahla. I'd have grown up in Adi Wahla, except for one problem: Ethiopia was in the midst of a thirty-year civil war with its northern region, Eritrea. Unfortunately for my family, our village was located right on the Ethiopian-Eritrean border.

Men from our village fled the brutal armies, and one day, my father fled as well. He walked hundreds of miles to Sudan, leaving the rest of us in Ethiopia. Six months later, my mother took my five-year-old brother Tewolde, my baby sister Mehret, and me on the long trek to meet up with my dad. I was three years old.

Along the way, some of our friends were eaten by hyenas. Others were kidnapped and sold into slavery. Still others died from sickness or hunger or thirst.

My family was fortunate to reach Sudan safely. We found my father and settled in a refugee camp. After three years in the camp, our lives changed forever: We moved across the world to Wheaton, Illinois, a town just outside Chicago.

Was the transition to America easy? Not for a minute. I had to learn a new language, get by on welfare, and make friends in a town where I was different from everyone else. Time after time, I wanted to give up: when bullies picked on me; when my school threatened to expel me for fighting; and even in high school, when a drunk driver killed my best friend, my brother Tewolde.

But I kept going, and by using the Secrets you'll find in this book, I eventually earned a full-tuition scholarship to Harvard University.

Now that I've graduated, I work as a professional speaker. I travel all over the country, showing students how to succeed.

By succeed, I don't just mean getting into a famous college or becoming an all-state athlete. I'm talking about real success being comfortable with who you are, choosing your own goals, and making yourself the person you've always known you could be.

The 5 Secrets

Working as a professional speaker, I've met every kind of teenager there is: confident and insecure, happy and miserable, overachieving and underperforming.

I've spoken in middle schools and high schools, in expensive private schools and old, rundown schools. I've even spoken with teens in jail. Wherever I've gone, I've always asked myself: what makes these teenagers who they are? What qualities separate the teens who are happy from the ones who aren't?

I finally found my answer: The 5 Secrets of Teen Success. The 5 Secrets can make a weak teenager strong and turn a class geek into a class leader. They won't change your life overnight, but if you keep applying them, they can make you anything you want to be.

While you'll have to read this book to learn what each Secret means, for now I'll reveal their names:

THE 1 ST SECRET: WIN THE INNER BATTLE

THE 2ND SECRET: WIN EVERY DAY

THE 3RD SECRET: GIVE FIRST, RECEIVE SECOND

THE 4TH SECRET: NEVER LOSE HOPE

THE 5 TH SECRET: TAKE SMART RISKS

The 1st Secret will introduce you to The Code and help you create your own Code. The other 4 Secrets will help you live your Code.

You're probably wondering what The Code is and why it's important. You'll know in a few pages, but for now, I can tell you that you are The Code and The Code is you. That may sound strange, but I promise you: The Code has tremendous power. Used properly, it can change your life.

The Last Word

Over these past couple of years, I've read dozens of books on success. While many of those books offer useful information, most suffer from one problem: they're so long, it's hard to keep the lessons straight. By the time you get to page 200, you've forgotten what you learned on page 30. To avoid that, I've kept my book short and to the point.

I've also packed my book with captivating stories. Each one illustrates a strategy for success. I hope you'll like the stories, but I need to warn you: The stories alone won't make you succeed. To see why, think back to when you were a little kid. You learned how to ride a bike. Did you learn by hearing stories about biking? By watching your friends bike?