Dani Klein Modisett - Take My Spouse, Please: How to Keep Your Marriage Happy, Healthy, and Thriving by Following the Rules of Comedy

This book makes you realize how valuable laughter is in a marriage. Buy it for your spouse and add years to your relationship.

Ben Stiller

A wonderful, humorous read for anyone in a marriage or thinking of being in one. My wife, Estelle, and I had the good fortune of being married for sixty-five years. When anyone asked her about making a marriage last, she always replied, Marry someone who can stand being with you.

Carl Reiner

My wife and I are either killing or bombing in our marriage, and Dani Modisetts book explains how thats actually a good thing. Finally, some validation that a marriage between two insane people can be a beautiful thing.

Jim Gaffigan

Having been married for twenty-seven years and writing about relationships for thirty-five years, I can see that Dani Modisett has captured the straight truth in this book. If you arent laughing through the years, you arent sticking together through the years. Sustaining a marriage is tough stuff, and this book, crammed with stories of resilience and humor, is proof that it is possible.

Iris Krasnow, best-selling author of The Secret Lives of Wives

In her quest to get more humor into her family life, Modisett has written a book with great passion and huge heart. A delight for anyone who is, was, or might ever be married.

Ayelet Waldman, author of Love and Treasure

Filled with humor, aspirational stories, and practical tips, Take My Spouse, Please helped me reflect on my most cherished relationship: my marriage. It made me feel hopeful about what it takes to stay connected, to grow, and most important, to keep laughing togetheralways.

Mallika Chopra, author of Living with Intent

A welcome relief from typical how-to marriage manuals. Highly recommended for everyone who wants more joy and more love in their relationship.

Ken Page, author of Deeper Dating

Other than having sex, I cant think of anything better for two people who love each to do than to laugh together. Modisett knows this and delivers a book with inspiring stories of happy marriages and highly doable advice to help couples of all kinds.

Jill Soloway, writer and comedian

For many Irish Catholics, the idea of leaving a marriage after vowing to stay is an idea that if acted upon will lead to eternal damnation. In Dani Modisetts funny, insightful book, she provides wonderful examples of many marriages that last because of shared happiness and understanding rather than fear of a forever spent in hell.

Mike OMalley, producer, writer, and actor

My lifes work is all about comedy, love, and laughter. Dani manages to look at the most important love relationship we haveour marriageand see it through the lens of a comedian, coming up with meaningful ideas that cant help but provide results. What a book!

Yakov Smirnoff, stand-up comedian and actor

I got married six months to the day after I met my now-husband. Best and most irrational thing I have ever done. People laughed at me. Now I know why my marriage works so wellits because we were two physicians inadvertently following the rules of comedy. Dani nails it, prescribing strategies to keep relationships healthy, honest, and fun. Doctors orders: read this book!

Dr. Cara Natterson, New York Times best-selling author of the American Girl advice book The Care and Keeping of You

ABOUT THE BOOK

In love as in comedy, timing is everything. One bad night doesnt mean its time to quit. Have patience: great marriages, like a successful comedy career, take time. Turns out the cardinal rules of comedy have an uncanny resemblance to the rules of building a strong marriage. With humor and grace, writer and comedian Dani Klein Modisett shares a map for navigating your marriage through rough patches, bad jokes, and even nights when you bomb.

Take My Spouse, Please shows how thirteen tried-and-true rules of comedy, when applied to marriage, keep you and your spouse connected, enjoying each other, and getting through those inevitable tough times. Bottom line: there is (almost) always room to laugh at a trying situation and, more important, with each other.

Along with anecdotes from well-known comedians, comedy writers, marriage counselors, and long-term spouses, Dani delivers the core premise: humor matters.

DANI KLEIN MODISETT is the author/editor of Afterbirth: True Stories You Wont Read in a Parenting Magazine and the producer of the stage show of the same name. She is also the creator of Not What I Signed Up For, a show about marriage, and several web series, including How to Stay Happily Married. She is a writer and blogger for Parents, the Huffington Post, and more. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two sons.

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Take My Spouse, Please

How to Keep Your Marriage Happy, Healthy, and Thriving by Following the Rules of Comedy

Dani Klein Modisett

TRUMPETER Boston & London 2015

TRUMPETER BOOKS

An imprint of Shambhala Publications, Inc.

Horticultural Hall

300 Massachusetts Avenue

Boston, Massachusetts 02115

www.shambhala.com

Cover design and illustration by Jim Zaccaria

2015 by Dani Klein Modisett

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Modisett, Dani Klein.

Take my spouse, please: how to keep your marriage happy, healthy, and thriving by following the rules of comedy / Dani Klein Modisett.First edition.

pages cm

eISBN 978-0-8348-0152-3

ISBN 978-1-61180-147-7 (pbk.: alk. paper)

1. MarriageHumor. 2. Married peopleHumor. 3. Husband and wifeHumor. I. Title.

PN6231.M3M83 2015

818.602dc23

2014039443

Contents

This book would not have been possible without my husband, Tod. This one is simple: no marriage, no book. Without a husband equally committed to getting in the ring and duking out life together, willing to show up consistently and collaborate on a shared life, I would have nothing to say on the subject of marriage. Thank you, Tod, for letting me expose bits of our life with the sole caveat that I make it entertaining.

As far as the actual production of this book, not to mention insight, good taste, and a constant push for me to go deeper than my instincts would have led me, I must thank my dear editor, Rochelle Bourgault. I must also thank Caroline Grant and Lisa Catherine Harper for including me in their book, The Cassoulet Saved Our Marriage, which is how I was introduced to Ms. Bourgault.

I also want to thank the generous and talented people who helped beyond measure in reading earlier drafts, particularly the discerning Claudette Sutherland, who taught me everything I know about writing with clarity and from the heart and gut. No one has busted my chops more than Ms. Sutherland sitting around her workshop table, and for thisand her friendshipI am most grateful.

Others who gave me their time and insight include but are not limited to: Karly Gilbert, Marcy Etlinger, Lisa and Pete Cook, Heidi Levitt, Johanna Stein, Lisa Brody, and Sherri Hirsch. Also, thank you to Dan Bucatinsky for essential cheerleading lunches, and Donna Emmanuelle for sharing her knowledge of transcription software and then making sure I had it.