Bex Lewis - Raising Children in a Digital Age: Enjoying the Best, Avoiding the Worst

I am delighted to see this book pulling together the
many strands of work which are designed to help
parents, carers, children, and young people navigate the
online world. Bex is clearly passionate about helping
people engage with the digital world in a positive way,
and this comes through in the simple discussion pointers
in each chapter. Too often a lack of understanding of the
opportunities and challenges presented by technological
change becomes an excuse for no engagement; Bex
points out that this is wrong and that opportunities to
engage in really good communication come from getting
to grips with this new environment. She sets out some
great ways to achieve this.

Reg Bailey CBE, Chief Executive
of Mothers BR

A refreshingly direct and thoughtful guide for parents
who want to understand their kids digital world but
dont want to be patronised. Up to date and evidence
based, this book walks a finely-judged line between
inviting parents to get involved and trusting kids to
be sensible as well as suggesting constructive ways for
parents to talk to and also learn from their children.

Professor Sonia Livingstone OBE,
London School of Economics, author of Children
and the Internet

For my parents, who have sought to support me through the
choices I have made in life.

Text copyright 2014 Bex Lewis
This edition copyright 2014 Lion Hudson

The right of Bex Lewis to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published by Lion Books
an imprint of
Lion Hudson plc
Wilkinson House, Jordan Hill Road,
Oxford OX2 8DR, England
www.lionhudson.com/lion

ISBN 978 0 7459 5604 6
e-ISBN 978 0 7459 5755 5

First edition 2014

Acknowledgments
p. 11 Picture of Bex Lewis Keith Blundy

pp. 14, 3940, 123, 188, 206, 216: Extracts from The Byron Reviewby Professor Tanya Byron Professor Tanya Byron, 2008. Reproduced with permission.

pp. 40, 60, 123, 126: Extracts from CHILDWISE Digital Lives Report CHILDWISE, 2010. Reproduced with permission.

pp. 36, 109, 142, 166, 170, 197: Extracts from Janna Anderson and Lee Rainie, Imagining the Internet: Millennials will benefit and suffer due to their hyperconnected lives. Pew Research Center, Washington, D.C. (February 29, 2012). http://www.pewinternet.org/Reports/2012/Hyperconnected-lives.aspx, accessed on February 29, 2012.

pp. 42, 167, 214: Extracts from Me and My Web Shadowby Antony Mayfield Antony Mayfield, 2010, A&C Black, an imprint of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc. Reproduced with permission.

p. 102: Extract from Randi Zuckerberg: How I Unplug For My Family by Randi Zuckerberg Randi Zuckerberg, 2013. Reproduced with permission.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Cover image: Lion Hudson

Contents

A Chance to Say Thank You

to Ali Hull for first commissioning this book and for encouragement and correction in the editing process, and to Pete Phillips, Andy Byers, Rich Wyld, Penny Bissell, Tim Hutchings, and Kate Bruce (my CODEC team at Durham University) for providing me with links and enthusiastic encouragement.

Ive enjoyed the support from my Facebook and Twitter communities, through feedback, suggested links, and distributing the questionnaire. Heartfelt thanks to the anonymous people who replied to it. Ive relished feedback from speaking engagements and blog posts that has helped develop the focus and advice within this book, and ongoing encouragement from former colleagues at the University of Winchester, particularly Martin Polley and Joyce Goodman, who developed my capacity for sustained writing with my PhD; Tansy Jessop, who has encouraged the continued development of my writing skills since; and Yaz El-Hakim who afforded many e-learning opportunities.

Ive particularly appreciated the opportunities for early chats with Marcus Leaning (Head of Media & Film, University of Winchester), Penny Fuller (Children & Youth Development Officer, Methodist Church), and Maggie Barfield (Childrens Publishing List, Scripture Union), and ongoing thought processes with fellow Social Media Consultant Bryony Taylor. Ive valued many offline conversations with those in the Cranmer Hall/Wesley Study Centre community including big hugs from Merry Evans where many are wrestling with these issues day by day with their own children, in the midst of busy lives.

I also want to thank Leanne and Darren Bell (we first connected on Twitter), who gave me not only a great day out at Alnwick Castle and lots of chats about children and social media, but also the opportunity to observe three children of differing ages engaging with digital media in really positive ways. Sin and Chris Lawton, Jennifer and Andrew Riddlestone, Justine and Matt McNinch, Pen Andrews, Geoff and Helen Hobbs, Jon and Kate Whale and Nicky Robinson have also given me plenty of opportunity to get involved in how they manage their children at work and play both online and offline. Thanks also to Louise Upchurch for the teachers perspective, and to Paul Windo (Urban Saints) for the youth leaders.

As always, I am grateful to friends and family for support, encouragement, time with nieces and nephews, and time out especially my parents, who have unfailingly supported, challenged, and encouraged me through good times and bad; my cousin Hannah, who provides great conversation and feedback along with a sofa bed for trips to London; and the Hitchens/Beresfords, who have been my honorary Winchester family for several years (and whose old dishwasher has made the writing process much easier!).

I also want to make a special mention of Tracey Hume, who drove me around to find my new home, and my new neighbours in Durham, Pat and Fred, with their friends John and Ang, who have sought to motivate me by helping me manage my garden, alongside various Have you finished that book yet? pokes. These have also been particularly appreciated from Sara Batts (hard-stare specials), Sheridan Voysey, Vicky Walker, Maggi Dawn, Emma Giles, Mary Jackson, Christina Macleod, Karen Neal, Emma Lowe, Melanie Cunningham, Pam Smith, and Paul and Pam Webster along with ice-pops from Beth Weedon and years of encouragement from Andrew Graystone!

Last, and not least, I ask forgiveness of all those who have chatted with me over the years and whose names I have failed to mention.

Id love to talk to more of you online, so join me on Twitter (@digitalfprint //@drbexl) with tag #digitalparenting.

Meet @drbexl

Its late 1992. Ive settled down to watch my new (old) television. Its the first television our family possesses (previously forbidden for misconceived religious reasons, to quote my mum), and I cannot get enough of it. My parents worry that Im attached to the screen, undiscriminating in what I watch, and losing out on time outside, although Im enjoying the fact that I can finally join in the school conversations about programmes such as