Sarah Granger - The Digital Mystique: How the Culture of Connectivity Can Empower Your Life?Online and Off

The Digital Mystique

Copyright 2014 Sarah Granger

SEAL PRESS

A Member of the Perseus Books Group

1700 Fourth Street

Berkeley, California 94710

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission from the publisher, except by reviewers who may quote brief excerpts in connection with a review.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Granger, Sarah.

The digital mystique : how the culture of connectivity can empower your lifeonline and off / Sarah Granger.

pages cm

ISBN 978-1-58005-515-4

1. Digital mediaSocial aspects. 2. Culture. I. Title.

HM851.G717 2014

302.231dc23

2014020358

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Cover and interior design by Domini Dragoone

Distributed by Publishers Group West

For my mom, who showed me that its possible to be an author, entrepreneur, and parent, while making it all look easy

And in memory of my dad, without whom I wouldnt have taken the first leap toward technology, the Internet, this book, and my own digital future

CONTENTS

In 2006 Betty Friedan died, and my mother told me that Friedans book, The Feminine Mystique, had changed her life. Inspired and empowered by that book, my mom entered the workforce and forged an entirely new path for herself, becoming my role model in the process. My mom was at the forefront of a cultural revolution... second-wave feminism.

In 2006 another cultural revolution was picking up steam: the digital revolution. New levels of access and new tools were driving an entirely new way of connecting and communicating online. A new way to be heard. And it was particularly inspiring and empowering for women and minority segments of the population who felt otherwise unheard. Locked out by traditional gatekeepers.

All of this new opportunity can be both exhilarating and intimidating.

I may be the cofounder of a digitally-native company, but I can relate.

I am not a digital native. Born in the final official year of the baby boom, I didnt touch my first computer until I was out of college. I didnt have an e-mail address until I was thirty-three, nor did I put the personal in personal computer until I was thirty-eight.

Ironically, I worked in tech, helping deliver to market the equipment that delivered the Internet to homes. But until 2003 it was more theory than practice for me.

Ten years ago, that all changed, and I hopped on the social media train early. In fact, before it was called social media!

I was that person patiently explaining that no, being a blogger didnt mean I sat in a basement in my pajamas telling you what I had for lunch.

And yes, I really had made good, true friends online, despite never having met them in real life.

Ive tried to explain things like blogs, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Google Plus to a wide range of those I call regular people. Its not easy to show.

How I believe something as simple as a Yahoo! Group for owners of cats with kidney disease helped me extend my cats life to twenty years old.

How women from all walks of life are making money for their words and their work. Money that buys their groceries or pays their rent... or just enables them to go out to dinner every now and then, or feel less stressed about money day-to-day... even during the toughest economic times in most of our adult memories.

How people dealing with the hardships we usually keep to ourselves... post-partum mental health issues, infertility, grief, loss, illness, parenting challenges... are finding a circle of 24/7 support that doesnt exist in what geeks affectionately call meatspace (aka IRL, in real life). A community of people who opt in to talk about the tough subjects and can always be found. Day in. Day out. In the wee hours. When you know you cant bend your best friends ear or cry on your partners shoulder one more time.

How online tools have facilitated revolutions. And social change. And given everyone a voice. You dont have to listen to every voice. Not everyone will listen to yours. But everyone with a mobile phone, library card, or other access to the Internet can get online and change the(ir) world.

Online has become my go-to space for every aspect of my life, truly integrated. And it has brought me knowledge, entertainment, friendship, support, relationships (including my significant other), and ultimately my lifes work in BlogHer.

Call me utopian, but I think everyone can find that kind of fulfillment and value navigating the Internet, and Sarah Granger can help you chart your course.

Sarah has been online even longer than I have and is at the forefront of many of the new uses for the World Wide Web. I have seen Sarah leverage the power of digital networks and communications for the personal, the political, and the professional. And I have invited her to many BlogHer conferences to share her knowledge and her advice on how we all can traverse this space as gracefully and effectively.

You may be wary of the downsides and pitfalls. You may be scared of the time suck or invasion of your privacy, perhaps the degradation of your offline community.

But you are in control of your destiny here! Use this book and Sarahs guidance to be the one in charge ofnot in thrall tothe wonders of an online life. Use this book to find the inspiration and empowerment enabled by this new cultural revolution.

Youll be glad you did.

Mystique is rare now, isnt it? There arent that many enigmas in this modern world.

Benedict Cumberbatch, English actor

The summer of 2005 found me in a distressing place. I was on vacation in London with my husbandand was six months pregnant with my daughterwhen I started experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions. It wasnt the first hiccup of the pregnancy. Id had a mild hemorrhage during the first trimester. Fortunately, after an uncomfortable flight, we made it home to California.

The contractions continued the following week, more than four an hour, so I went to the hospital to be examined. Driving there, every possible worst-case scenario ran through my head. What if I gave birth early? What if my baby couldnt breathe on her own? The doctors confirmed the early contractions, but I was sent home with medication, destined for bed rest. I had cut back on clients as a digital media strategist due to the early hemorrhage that had led to an earlier bed rest during the first trimester, so I found myself in an unusual position of having nothing to do except lie on the couch and worry. Luckily, I had grown up with computers, so my first reaction was to go online.

With my laptop resting on my swelling belly, I clicked away, seeking answers to my questions and comfort for my concerns. What is the difference between Braxton-Hicks contractions and the real ones? How do new mothers cope with raising preemies? I found myself on the March of Dimes website, exploring their Share Your Story community, a place where pregnant women and new parents blogged about their experiences with early contractions and/or preterm labor as well as premature births.