Meera Lester - Happiest You Ever: 365 Ways to Invite More Love, Sex, Fun, Friendship, Fellowship, Community, and Career Satisfaction into your Life - Each and Every Day!

Happiest

YOU

EVER

WAY TO
INVITE
MORE

Love, Sex, Fun, Friendship, Fellowship, Community, and Career Satisfaction Into Your LifeEACH AND EVERY DAY!

Meera Lester, Carolyn Dean, MD, ND, and Susan B. Townsend

For my father and mother, Robert and Barbara Armstrong,
who taught me to find joy in the little things.

Id like to thank Paula Munier for her continued support and encouragement and for giving me this great project. I am very grateful to Jennifer Lawler for her thoughtful expertise and, as always, I would like to thank Matt Glazier for being helpful, patient, and a very good listener.

Finally, I would like to thank everyone at Adams Media who worked so hard to make this book possible.

You probably picked up this book because youd like to be happier in your life, but arent sure exactly how to accomplish that. Unlike making cookies or learning to dance, you cant just follow a set of instructions and then expect to live happily ever after. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product. What she meant is that you find happiness by doing things and being with people who make you happy, not by chasing after an ephemeral emotional state.

In the mid-90s, there were 100 studies on sadness for every one study on happiness. The rapidly growing positive psychology movement has been quickly closing that gap, and studies by experts like University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin E. P. Seligman, author of the book Authentic Happiness, are beginning to give us a clearer picture of why some people are happier than others. The leaders in the field have determined that the happiest people spend time in fulfilling relationships, they seek personal growth and intimacy, and they are engaged in absorbing activitiesboth recreational and career-related. They also possess characteristics associated with a rewarding spiritual life such as altruism, gratitude, and acceptance.

Since the 1930s, researchers in the Grant Study at Harvard have been following 268 men, trying to determine if there is a formula of some kind for a good life. Depression turned out to be a major drain on physical health. More broadly, pessimists seemed to suffer physically in comparison with optimists, perhaps because theyre less likely to connect with others or care for themselves. Healthy behaviors cited in the study include selflessness, creativity, and successful relationships, while some of the negative behaviors include withdrawal, aggression, and isolation.

In short, the study demonstrated that happiness seems to be strongly connected to playing, working, and loving.

By focusing on strengthening seven key elements in your life, you will become a happier person. Happiest You Ever is structured in such a way that every week youll spend time working on each of the seven elements. It contains a whole year of tips, tricks, and tried-and-true tactics covering every aspect of your life. Every week, youll see how developing and implementing life skills in different areas of your life can bring you the happiness youve been craving.

• On Mondays, youll examine your career.
• On Tuesdays, youll concentrate on making a strong connection to your community.
• On Wednesdays, youll focus on the friendships in your life.
• On Thursdays, youll create greater satisfaction in your love life.
• On Fridays, youll spend time with your family.
• On Saturday, youll devote time to rest and relaxation, including outside hobbies and interests.
• On Sundays, youll explore spirituality and fellowship.

This approach helps you create happiness in all areas of your life; no part is neglected. That doesnt mean youll never be sad or deal with roadblocks again. It does mean that you will find ways to work through the challenges, with an increase of happiness as an added bonus. Take a year-long journey of happiness, and if you happen to bring some joy to others along the way, so much the better!

WEEK ONE

MONDAY | CAREER

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

Joseph Heller

Put Your Inner Child to Work

As youve grown older, you may have forgotten what it was like to be a child. In your struggle and determination to be mature and self-reliant, you may have locked yourself into a rigid way of thinking. This mindset precludes the anything is possible outlook found in children that allows them to explore the world around them with such wonder and joy. When you were a child, you probably had plenty of ideas about the kind of work you wanted to do and would enjoy doing and would be good at. Instead of dismissing those ideas as impractical or silly, consider that the younger you may have had some insight that the older you could use!

ASKING YOUR INNER CHILD FOR HELP

If youre currently unhappy or unfulfilled in your work situation, perhaps its time to return to a child-like state of mind in which the sky is the limit. No one is saying you have to quit your job tomorrow, but allow yourself to explore the dreams you held as a child and ask yourself some important questions.

TUESDAY | COMMUNITY

Sure Im for helping the elderly. Im going to be old myself some day.

Lillian Carter

Help Your Elderly Neighbor

The city has been suffering through a record snowfall, and one night, it occurs to you that you havent seen your elderly neighbor for a couple of days. Chances are shes just fine, but theres also a possibility that she might need assistance. Even if youve only exchanged pleasantries, you shouldnt let that prevent you from dropping by.

Dont wait for the dramatic scenario above to connect with an older neighbor. Maybe you can perform a few simple errands or help around the house. Then again, she may just want someone to talk to. You wont know until you take the first step. That first step could very well take you on a journey full of rich rewards. Youll get a helpers high from all those endorphins. Youll decrease the sense of isolationso prevalent in todays societyfor both you and your neighbor. And youll also be helping to build a stronger community.

LEND A HAND

Here are a few ways you can help out your neighborselderly, physically challenged, or otherwise:

WEDNESDAY | FRIENDSHIP

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.

Bernard Meltzer

Make Happy Friends

According to a study by James Fowler of the University of CaliforniaSan Diego and Nicholas Christakis of Harvard University, each happy friend you have increases your happiness by an average of 9 percent, while each unhappy friend can decrease it by 7 percent. Thats probably no surpriseweve all experienced having a good mood punctured by a negative friend. Cultivating friendships with people who are generally happy will have a measurable impact on your own happiness.