Sciortino - 30 days to happiness: daily meditations and actions for finding true joy within yourself

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30 Days to Happiness

Text Copyright 2019 Rhonda Sciortino

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 978-1-57826-782-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.

Printed in the United States

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COVER AND INTERIOR DESIGN BY CAROLYN KASPER

CONTENTS

This book is dedicated to all the people who struggle with depression and to all those who suffer from the depression of the people they love. The good news is that we can actively fight depression by creating and enjoying our genuine happiness.

INTRODUCTION

E verybody wants to be happy, yet few people know how to achieve this elusive goal. We think we will be happy if we get the right job, have the right people in our lives, get a new car, and so on. But the problem with this mindset is that, if we only feel happiness when we have what we want, we will never be happybecause there will always be something else we want. Genuine happiness isnt found in achievements or in the acquisition of material things. All of those things may feel good for a time, but the newness eventually wears off and the happy feelings fade.

Real happiness isnt tied to anything outside ourselves, so when we allow our happiness to be contingent on other people or circumstances, were giving up our control. When we give up control, our lives become a never-ending emotional roller coaster ride. When things go well, were happy; when they dont, were depressed. When people treat us well, were happy; when people are unfair or rude, were angry or sad.

Whats more, putting the responsibility for our happiness on other people is far too much for them to have to bear. The only person who is truly responsible for your happiness is you.

Lets consider what authentic happiness really is. It is not solely a feeling; feelings are superficial and can change from one moment to the next. Genuine happiness is something much deepera sense of contentedness, the certain knowledge that despite whatever may be wrong in the world, all is well with our soul.

When we reach that level of peace, our happiness becomes joy. Joy is different and distinct from happiness, as joy is truly internal. It isnt affected by external circumstances. When our happiness becomes joy, we can carry it with us even into the worst turmoil, thereby bringing peace into discord, rather than turmoil and discord disrupting our peace.

Before we can reach that level of joy and inner peace, we must first find our own authentic happiness. And to do that, we must determine what currently stands in the way of our being happy. If you want to get happy and stay happy, rather than just vaguely hoping that itll eventually happen someday, you must choose to deliberately pursue, attain, and maintain authentic happiness.

To do that, there are six steps you must follow:

1. Choose positivity
2. Take an honest assessment of your current level of happiness
3. Decide what you want to change
4. Determine what you will need in order to live the consistently happy life you want to live
5. Decide how to best get from where you are now to where you want to be
6. Take a step every day to get where you want to go

While birthdays, years ends, and other times of transition (like job loss, divorce, retirement, etc.) are ideal times to step back, take inventory, and prepare for your future, these steps can be taken at any time. All it takes is a willingness to improve, a commitment to your own well-being, and an actionable plan to get you to where you want to be.

The important thing is that instead of measuring stuff, well be measuring what truly countsthe intangibles, such as relationships, love, and character traits.

The true measure of genuine happiness is in these five points:

• Good relationships
• Good health
• Peace
• Joy
• Financial provision

Achieving one of the facets of success without the others can never lead to the fullness of authentic happiness that accompanies real success. For example, the notion of equating wealth with success is false. There are many financially prosperous people who are miserable. When people destroy their health while trying to earn wealth, they typically dont enjoy the journey, and they arent able to freely enjoy what they earn. When people fail to invest time in quality relationships while trying to earn wealth, they arent able to enjoy their wealth through the kind of friendships that typically take years to develop. Once a person becomes wealthy, it is difficult to develop authentic, trusting relationships with people with whom they can enjoy their wealth. Think of the five facets of real success as the foundational pillars of an authentically happy life.

In creating your action plan for a truly successful life, take inventory of the things of true value in your life. If you are courageous enough to do this raw assessment, you will have gathered all the data you need to make deliberate decisions about what you will need to do to improve your happiness and your life.

Throughout this book you will gain rich wisdom and practical tips for acquiring and guarding your happiness. You will learn the secrets about how listening can increase your happiness, and how failure to really listen can steal it away. You will learn how the character traits of courage, honesty, and reliability can help you lead a happier life. And you will gain the wisdom that every truly happy person knows about how your choices to be positive, fair, and creative will lead to real, sustainable happiness.

30 Days to Happiness is an honest assessment of the 30 life inventory items that have the biggest influence on your happiness. Let the next 30 days represent a fresh beginninga do-over of sorts, only this time youll have more experience and greater wisdom than ever before.

You can assess previous plans that didnt work out, mine the lessons out of difficult experiences, make adjustments, and try again without beating yourself up. Thomas Edison tried thousands of times before inventing the incandescent lightbulb. Adjusting your approach and trying again is what eventually leads to success. Giving up never does!

DAY 1

LOVE

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

ROBERT A. HEINLEIN

L OVE is the very first, and most important, life inventory item.

The problem with love in our culture is that it is ill-defined. We say that we love ice-cream, we love our pets, and our new outfit; and then we say that we love our family and friends. Throwing around the word 'love diminishes its depth and significance. Of course, the love we feel for those dearest to our hearts is clearly different than those other things that we enjoy and appreciate; yet we struggle to fully articulate the distinction.

Authentic love is measured in several ways, with the most significant being actions. Actions speak louder than words. For example, if a person says,