Nike Okeke - No Space For Junk: Inspired by a True Life Journey to Finding Happiness

N O S PACE

FOR J UNK

N O S PACE

FOR J UNK

Inspired by a True Life

Journey to Finding Happiness

Nik Okeke

2019 Nik Okeke

No Space for Junk

Inspired by a True Life

Journey to Finding Happiness

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Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the King James Version. Public domain.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.Zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Library of Congress Control Number:2019932755

ISBN 978-0-310107484 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-0-310107507 (eBook)

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To my brother Adewale Francis Aderinto

(19672018)

M y first acknowledgement goes to God. His Presence was always guiding me through and supplying me with every knowledge I needed to write this book.

To my mum, you are such a selfless woman; thank you for being a great role model. And to my dad, thank you for leaving me on this planet with a solid moral foundation; continue to sleep in peace.

To my brothers: Demola, Dewale, Remi, Soji and Yemi, the story of my life is not complete without each of you. Thank you all for always having my back.

To my husband Nnamdi, this story begins with you; you made my very first dream come true. Thank you.

Finally, to my children: Victoria, Vincent and Victor, thank you for being my greatest life teachers. I love each of you unconditionally. I hope this inspires you all to go after your dreams courageously!

C ONTENTS

I decided to go on a journey to find happiness after I had a scary experience and thought I might die! I obviously survived this experience, but I had to rethink and regroup. I thought of what my lifes purpose was and I found that the true purpose of life is simpleto be happy. The main reason why people acquire money, cars, houses, friends, even eat and drink sometimes is to be happy.

Most people will tell you that happiness is a choice, but what choices are they making? The choice to buy that expensive car that you know you cant afford? The choice to get into that mortgage just so people can notice that you now live in a big house? The choice to do things, not because you want to do it but because everybody else is doing it? The choice to belong? Belong to the wrong crowd? The choice to dwell on the hurtful incident that happened twenty years ago?

I made so many choices in my quest for happinessthe choice to move to another country, the choice of emotional dependence, the choice of buying a nice car, the choice of getting a good job and so many more. In all my choices, I can tell you that the choice to forgive is what helped me most.

Forgiveness, first for myself and then for others, came like a solid foundation on which my happiness could forever stand.

In this book, I use the term nospaceforjunk to describe forgiveness as a way to clear up the emotional junk in ones life. I also elaborated on what these emotional junks are, and the different strategies that can work to help with forgiveness.

In the first two chapters, I shared my life story about how I got to the point where I thought I needed to start living and being truly happy. The subsequent chapters focus on why we need to forgive and the ways to achieve happiness.

W hat if I die at this moment? I thought to myself as I watched the paramedic prepare an IV solution of magnesium sulphate.

You have an IV line already, so I wouldnt need to poke you again, the paramedic said in response to one of the so many questions that I asked him.

It was Friday, April 22, 2016. I was thirty-five weeks and about six days pregnant. I had gone for a scheduled prenatal visit in one of the small towns close to where I lived (I lived in a town where one has to travel at least forty-five minutes for prenatal visits and deliveries).

This was my first time on the ambulance, as the patient. An ambulance, I know, is for life-threatening situations, so I knew my situation must be very bad. My blood pressure had been high for the most part of this pregnancy, but it was very high on this day, with an overwhelming headache and medications not working to control my blood pressure, the hospital was done. They didnt have enough facility to deal with my case. I was transported on an ambulance to one of the hospitals in the city.

I was gripped with fear throughout the ride. The thought that I might die made me regret the life that I had lived. Have I really enjoyed my life? My answer was NO. My whole life flashed in front of my eyes. I had complained every step of the way! I came to Canada some years ago in search of a good life and happiness, but all I did was complain about everything. Happiness, for me, had always been in one thing that I needed to attain, but after attaining it the happiness never lasted, so I started to search for something else. My heart was filled with desires that I never truly enjoyed because I always focused on the next thing.

What do you do? the paramedic asked, interrupting my thought.

I am a registered nurse, I said. I answered a few more of his questions then drifted back into thinking Yes, I am a registered nurse. I work in a mental-health facility. It was what I had dreamt of since my second year of nursing The paramedic interrupted my thoughts again. I dont remember his question this time. I dont think its relevant. My eyes were closed. I think he was just making sure I wasnt sleeping or slipping into death.

When we got to the nearest hospital in the city, a lady came out to receive me. I could see her lips moving but I didnt hear what she was saying. However, I kept nodding my head in affirmation. Maybe she was introducing herself. I didnt care. I just wanted another chance at living.

Throughout my three-day stay in the hospital, I kept reviewing my life. My family moved to Nigeria from Ghana when I was about two years old. I lived twenty-six years of my life in Nigeria. About fifteen out of the twenty-six years that I lived in Nigeria was me focusing on travelling to the USA. I had thoughts of the USA and Canada as heavens. I thought everything was perfect in these countries. I thought everyone in Canada or USA had a lot of money, living in big, beautiful houses, riding expensive cars and no single thing to worry about!