CONTENTS
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LOVE IS ACTION
Text Copyright 2019 Rhonda Sciortino
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN: 978-1-57826-864-1
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.
C OVER AND I NTERIOR D ESIGN BY C AROLYN K ASPER
Printed in the United States
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This book is dedicated to the people who loved me into wholeness.
To the foster parents whose names I do not know, who changed my life by showing me that there were people who lived in clean houses who didnt hit one another. To the 14-year-old girl, Janet Ford Reid, who believed that there was good in me, and helped me see it for myself. To my high school teacher, Barbara Naylor, who taught me work ethic and office skills that made me employable. To Chuck Wheeler, who gave me a job in his Farmers Insurance office that launched a 40 year career in insurance and risk management. To the judge who granted my emancipation when I was 16 years old. To Corky Kindsvater, MSW, CEO of Hillview Acres Childrens Home, who suggested that I start my own business. And to Nick Sciortino, the man who believed in me enough to give me his heart, his name, and his big, beautiful, Italian family.
Because of all these people and many more, I am able to help others. I hope to give them a good return on their investment in me.
FOREWORD
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T his book was written for everyone who could benefit from more love in their lives. Isnt that all of us? When we turn on the news, we hear about anger, hate, and division. The drama and pain that accompanies it is all around us. The good news is that there is an answer.
It may sound simplistic and clich to say that love is the answer, but real, authentic, unconditional love is the answer to alleviating the pressure of vitriol and lessening the weight of depression. Even if you doubt loves extraordinary power to make things better, I hope that we can all agree that love wont make things worse.
It is because of this convictionthat we can all benefit from lovethat the Love Is Action Community Initiative was created. Love Is Actions mission is to connect community stakeholders, including businesses, the faith community, government services, non-profit social service organizations, justice and law enforcement, education, mental health, civic groups and clubs, and concerned individuals, to help prevent child sex trafficking, child abuse, suicide, substance abuse, homelessness, and other societal ills. This is a grassroots effort that we hope will grow into a groundswell of community stakeholders reducing the societal ills in their neighborhoods by putting their love into action.
With or without the structure of a community initiative, each one of us can do things that are no big deal to us, but which can make an enormous difference in the lives of others. This book will show you how and why this is important to you and to everyone around you.
I challenge you to put your love into action for thirty days and to see what happens. The quickest way to begin is to put down the electronics and give the simple respect and dignity of eye contact and authentic human connection. This first step, followed by the suggestions included at the end of each chapter, will enrich your life in ways you may never have thought possible. Id love to hear your story on the Love Is Action Community Initiative Facebook page. Look us up and join the conversation.
WHAT IS LOVE
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The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.
Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
L ove changes people and circumstances. If you doubt that, consider the first time you heard, I love you, or, Will you marry me , or, I choose YOU [for prom, for the job, as my business partner, etc.]. The feeling of being loved, valued, and cherished changes us. You might even say it completes us. When we feel accepted and loved, were more confident. We are far more willing to step out of our comfort zone to reach for a goal, to try something new, or simply to let our guard down and be our authentic selves when we believe that we are truly loved.
Conversely, feeling unwanted and unloved changes us too. The feeling of being unwanted and unloved may be the most damaging emotion a person can feel. It makes us feel worthless. If you doubt that, consider a time when, as a child, you were chosen last for the team; or a time when, as a teenager, someone you liked decided they didnt like you in return; or a time when you were left out. When we feel unwanted and unloved, we can become reticent. Fear of being judged, made fun of, or shunned can cause us to hesitate to take even the slightest risks. Feeling unloved can prevent us from fully actualizing our potential.
Lack of love leaves us feeling empty, like a big part of us is missingand actually, it is. Humans need love. We need to receive it, and just as importantly, we need to give it. When we feel loved, empty places get filled in and insecurities are less prominent. Along with acceptance comes a feeling of safety that gives us permission to be our true selves. When insecurities are diminished, our authentic personalities emerge, and we (and everyone within our influence) find out that we are actually pretty awesome in our own unique way.
When we feel loved and safe enough to be ourselves, thats when life gets fun, because we can step out and try to reach for our biggest, most audacious dreams. Being loved doesnt eliminate the fear of failure, but it provides a safety net that, even in the event that we fall short of achieving our big, bold goals, we will fall softly into the presence of someone who loves us regardless of our accomplishmentssomeone who knows our faults and failures and loves us anyway, someone who consoles us and celebrates our willingness to reach for the stars regardless of the results.
We all know that love is much more than mere words. In fact, weve nearly worn out the word love. We love ice cream, we love our new job, we love where we live. In our language and culture, we use this same word to describe how much we enjoy ice cream as well as how deeply we feel for the people we care most about. We love our families, our children, our best friends, and so on. Anyone whos ever been betrayed by someone who said, I love you, while behaving as though they didnt, will tell you that real love is much more than words.