Hollie Smith - First-time Mum: Surviving and Enjoying your babys first year

Surviving and enjoying your babys first year

Hollie Smith

First-time Mum: surviving and enjoying your babys first year

Hollie Smith

This 1st edition is published in 2012 by Crimson Publishing, Westminster House, Kew Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 2ND

Hollie Smith 2012

Epub edition 1988 ISBN:978 1 90828 139 5

The author has asserted their moral rights to be identified as the the author of this work in accordance with the Copyrights, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

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A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

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I owe a huge thank you to the members of my mums panel, who once again have provided me with invaluable input by sharing their anecdotes, tips, and opinions. These are real women, with real babies, and real lives. Frankly, I doubt youll get better advice anywhere, wherever you look.

Thanks also to Louise Cremonesini, Health Visitor, lecturer, wife, mum, and all-round superstar, for casting her expert eye over the book.

A brief note about gender: for convenience Ive used he for babies; she for Health Visitors and midwives; and he for doctors. Outrageously sexist. My apologies.

Where Ive mentioned an organisation, charity, or source of further information, youll find it listed in the Useful Contacts chapter at the back of the book.

If youd like to read more from me, please drop in on my blog some time: www.holliesmith.co.uk/blog/

Welcome to your first year of motherhood possibly the most amazing and challenging 12 months of your life so far. After the drawn-out anticipation of pregnancy, your babys here, and youre finally a mum. No doubt youre exhausted and feeling a huge mix of emotions from joy to anxiety. Other mums will have told you how wonderful motherhood is: but also that it was harder than they anticipated. In truth, you can never really know how it feels until youre experiencing it. Its certainly challenging. But hopefully, with this book as your companion throughout the first year, youll have the information you need to care for your baby, stay sane and to actually enjoy it too!

I remember my first year of motherhood in vivid technicolour. I wont ever forget the smells, the sights, the sensations, and the emotions that made it such an incredible experience. Ive got to be honest. A lot of it was hard-going: that stomach-churning feeling when you hit the sack, knowing youre going to be up in the cold, dark middle of the night three hours later, feeding the wee insomniac; the agony of hungry gums on raw nipples; the relentless, hours-on-end colicky crying; the poo that looks like korma sauce, in places you didnt think poo could reach. And while youre doing your utmost to fathom out the mysteries of baby care, you have to cope with your own emotional and physical changes: your body ravaged in all sorts of ways by birth; a catalogue of new emotions thats as likely to include anxiety and depression as it is joy and wonder; the demands of a third party and new roles on your relationship; and the inner turmoil involved in considering your return to work. And yet, its a truly wonderful time, too.

The love and pride you and your babys dad feel as you watch him evolve from a mewling infant to a lively one-year-old, and the sense of achievement in getting your first year of parenthood under your belts: well, theres nothing to beat it.

So, heres First-time Mum, a guide to the first year for modern mothers. I hope youll find its full of useful information and packed with reassurance. Youll notice I take a neutral stance on most things modern mums have enough guilt and doubt to contend with, without being lectured by the very manual theyre reading. You might also notice that my advice is rarely definitive or prescriptive. Theres a good reason for that: all babies are different, and so are all mums. And if Ive learned one thing as a writer, and as a mum myself, its this: while there are very few absolute rights and wrongs in parenting, there are lots of maybes, sort-ofs, and perhapses. So what Im offering here is a combination of basic facts, accepted wisdom, official guidelines, and, perhaps most importantly, word on the street. Its up to you to take it from there.

One of the first quandaries facing you as a new mum, no doubt, is what amid the myriad products up for sale to new parents do you need to buy for your baby; what can you get away with borrowing, and what should you probably just bypass altogether? Truth be told, theres very little that you definitely need at the outset, beyond a few absolute basics. Depending on what stage youre reading this, by now, you may have done a fair amount of acquiring already and you may use this chapter as a checklist, or for some non-essential-but-nice ideas. Or you may be reading this in preparation, and can use these suggestions to save yourself a bad buy or two...

When its your first baby, you might just want to make sure he has absolutely everything he could possibly need (even if youre not quite sure what his needs are, yet). And maybe youre enjoying the shopping opportunities so much its hard to keep a lid on your purchasing. But still, its a good idea to stick with what seems really essential to get you started. Ive included a tick list of the absolute, initial essentials at the end of the chapter () and go through the pros and cons of these, and everything else, just below. As time goes on, it should become clearer what you need and what you dont, and at that point you can order it: after all, eBay is but a mouse click away. Youre bound to get at least some of what you need as presents, too (along with a fair few things you dont). Keep your receipts!

Whatever youve got on your acquisitions list, remember that almost all of it can be handed down, borrowed, or bought for a song second-hand via sources such as National Childbirth Trust (NCT) sales, local noticeboards, and online. There are two exceptions to this: car seats and cot mattresses, which safety experts recommend that you buy new. Think hard about anything you do fork out the full whack for, because its easy to waste your money in this market. And bear in mind that, whatever the size of your home, it can seem very small once its cluttered with baby equipment. Dont get more than you can actually house.

Ultimately, this is a subjective issue: one new mums essential is anothers total waste of money. In the end its down to you what you decide you need for your baby. Youll almost certainly end up acquiring at least a couple of things you wish you hadnt but hopefully, too, a good few that turn out to have been worth every penny.

Mums panel round-up

Tips on buying for a baby