Pamela D. Wilson - The Caregiving Trap: Solutions for Lifes Unexpected Changes

The Caregiving Trap

Praise for

The Caregiving Trap

A very objective, informative and heart-warming guide for adult children who find themselves caring for aging parents, many think, simply because they are the daughter or son, they know what is best for their parent and then feel guilty because they are overwhelmed by the task. Too often I have heard, I think we made a mistake in our decision. Reading the experiences of this author will give confidence to the reader that the solutions offered are not only professional and objective, but equally as important, they are from the heart.

Astrid Tertel, caregiver

Today is the time to make connections with our parents before time passes. Time also for the conversation of care, years before care is needed. Pamela Wilson asks the reader to appreciate the fragility of life by valuing our relationships, and to take a proactive stance by realizing that how we live now will shape the future as we age. She offers a toolbox of strategies to help the caregiver move forward with foresight, knowledge, and skills to plan for the future.

Tina Wells, MA, Alzheimers Association Colorado

Pamela Wilson has provided us with an information-rich, enormously detailed and practical, very deeply personal, and even fearless exploration and understanding of the all-too-often simply overwhelming care-giving process. It will be a booklike her practice phone numberthat I keep within close reach in my own office, and imagine sharing with patients and their families for years to come.

Jay Schneiders, PhD., ABPP,
Clinical Neuropsychologist & Health Psychologist

There is a phrase from Pamela Wilsons new book The Caregiving Trap that says it all: Logic is absent from many caregiving situations as emotions take over the drivers seat. Being a nurse who has been a caregiver for over 40 years, I wish I had found Pamelas book much earlier in my life. Caring for elders is a special skill. Over the last 15 years while caring for my own aging parents, I have encountered absolutely wonderful, patient souls who clearly have a gift with this population. But the trick for the rest of us is to listen to these knowledgeable folks. Pamela is an expert who has provided heartfelt, concrete advice to guide others through this challenging process.

Patricia A. Herlily, Ph.D., R.N.,
CEO and Founder of Rocky Mountain Research

No one is more experienced or knowledgeable in helping caregivers and care recipients than Pamela Wilson. Pamela is an educator and a professional caregiver. She knows what works and her advice is more than theory, it has been tested in practical application.

John J. Horan, CMSP/CFSP, Horan & McConaty

This book is a must read not only for any health professional interacting with the elderly and disabled individuals but also for any adult who could possibly find themselves in a care giving situation or the recipient of caregiving now or in the future. Pamelas personal and professional experience, along with extensive research, offers a compassionate, perceptive and detailed resource. Familiar scenarios, probing questions, and realistic options are presented, all with the end goal of better quality of life for both the recipient of care and the caregiver.

Linda Warwick, RN Hospice and Alternative Therapy Practitioner

The Caregiving Trap

SOLUTIONS FOR LIFES UNEXPECTED CHANGES

PAMELA D. WILSON

The Caregiving Trap
SOLUTIONS FOR LIFES UNEXPECTED CHANGES

2016 PAMELA D. WILSON .

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the author.

Published in New York, New York, by Morgan James Publishing. Morgan James and The Entrepreneurial Publisher are trademarks of Morgan James, LLC. www.MorganJamesPublishing.com

The Morgan James Speakers Group can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event visit The Morgan James Speakers Group at www.TheMorganJamesSpeakersGroup.com.

Disclaimers: The author of this book does not dispense medical or psychological advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical or psychological problems either directly or indirectly. The information and recommendations outlined in this book are not intended as a substitute for medical advice; the reader of this book should see a qualified health care practitioner. The intent of the author is to offer information of a general nature to support caregivers and care recipients. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself or for another person, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions or results. Names, characters, places, events, stories and situations have been changed to protect individual privacy. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014959669
ISBN 978-1-63047-535-2 paperback
ISBN 978-1-63047-536-9 eBook

Publishers Cataloging-in-Publication
(Provided by Quality Books, Inc.)

Wilson, Pamela D.
The caregiving trap : solutions for lifes unexpected changes / by Pamela D. Wilson. -- First edition.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references and index.
1. Aging parents--Care. 2. Adult children of aging parents. 3. Caregivers--Family relationships. 4. Parent and adult child. I. Title.

RA645.3.W557 2015 649.80846

QBI15-600066

Cover Design by:
Kathi Dunn, www.dunn-design.com

Interior Design by:
Bonnie Bushman, bonnie@caboodlegraphics.com

In an effort to support local communities and raise awareness and funds, Morgan James Publishing donates a percentage of all book sales for the life of each book to Habitat for Humanity Peninsula and Greater Williamsburg.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my husband, Sam, for his patience, understanding, and support for my career as a professional caregiver including the countless vacations, weekends, dinners and events I have missed over the years due to last minute and unexpected client situations. Your love and support have allowed me to achieve many of my lofty goals.

Table of Contents

Preface

Meeting Barbara