Joan A. Friedman - The Same but Different: How Twins Can Live, Love and Learn to Be Individuals

A thoughtful, well-written, inside view of the world of twins from a psychologist who is herself a twinwhat better vantage from which to shed light on the mystique of twins?

Ricardo Ainslie, PhD, Professor, Educational Psychology, University of Texas at Austin, and author of The Psychology of Twinship

Not only is The Same but Different a must-read for adult twins, it is an invaluable resource for the parents of younger twins who want to start their same-age children on the road to a healthy relationship in the future.

Lauren Apfel, PhD, blogger Omnimom and mother of twins

Dr. Friedman fully acknowledges the special bond uniting most twins. Twins, however, need to extricate themselves from imposed and self-inflicted fixed roles in order to live full and satisfactory lives while continuing to enjoy a bond no longer chained by all the knots of the past. I would recommend this book to adult twins and to all those involved with their lives.

Alessandra Piontelli, MD, PhD, Unit for Twin Pregnancies, University of Milan and author of Twins: From Fetus to Child and Twins in the World

As an only child myself and now the mother of twin boys, I greatly appreciate Joans candid lens into the unique dynamics of the twin relationship. I value the perspective and strategies on raising twins as individuals to develop a self beyond their twin.

Amanda Marijanovic, Associate Director, Stella & Dot, personal stylist, and mother of twins

This book is a must-read for parents of twins. Joan Friedman highlights some of the complicated challenges facing adult twins and offers guidance for promoting healthy, respectful relationships.

Eve Currin, mother of college-age twins

Finally, an honest discussion about the realities of being a twin. This book sheds hugely important light on the unique complications that are part of all twins lives. Essential reading for twins, spouses of twins, parents and families of twins, and anyone who wants to know what being a twin is really like.

Neil Lowenthal, identical twin

I know that as my school-age twins approach adolescence and adulthood, I will return many times to the helpful insights and strategies Dr. Friedman offers in The Same but Different. This is a book all parents of twins should readand share with their children when the time is right.

Jane Roper, author of Double Time: How I Survivedand Mostly Thrivedthrough the First Three Years of Mothering Twins

The Same but Different is for any twin who has ever wondered, Why cant others understand me? or Why cant my friendships and romantic relationships be as close as my relationship with my twin? The book also offers invaluable help and support on issues ranging from how to cope with the endless comparisons to codependency and how to establish healthy relationships outside of ones twinship.

Patricia East, PhD, Developmental Psychologist, Department of Pediatrics, Division of Child Development and Community Health, University of California, San Diego School of Medicine

This book clearly outlines ways in which twins may struggle as they strive for individuality while trying to maintain their bond. Dr. Friedman allows parents of twins to understand and support their children while giving teen and adult twins deep insight into their own behavior patterns.

Gina Osher, The Twin Coach

This is the book Ive been searching for through most of my adult life. I now feel far less alone and more understood in dealing with my lifelong twin-related struggles. Dr. Friedman has provided a road map that previously didnt exist for the confusing, frustrating, and exhilarating experience of being a twin.

Mark Lowenthal, identical twin

Joan Friedman is one of those rare twins experts who tells the whole truth about the experience of being born alongside another person, growing up constantly lumped and compared. The Same but Different explores the powerful complexities of trying to build separate friendships, careers, and romances when one is pairedgenetically and societallywith another person. Required reading for adult twins and the people closest to them.

Abigail Pogrebin, author of One and the Same: My Life as an Identical Twin and What Ive Learned about Everybodys Struggle to Be Singular

Explores how twinship impacts individuals who are twins and the ways that twins learn to relate to other people in their lives. This book asks twins to consider their personhood both within and without their twinship and to embark on a journey that will foster the development of healthy and satisfying relationships with cotwins, friends, and significant others.

Caroline Tancredy, PhD, Professor of Psychology, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

A well-written, well-organized, and extremely insightful book about the psychological development of twins and the kinds of issues they face throughout adulthood. The book was not only personally very reassuring but as a professional it was enlightening as well.

Carolyn S. Spiro, MD, coauthor of Divided Minds: Twin Sisters and Their Journey through Schizophrenia

This book will make us better parents, better siblings, better friends, and for twins, better selves.

Alex Cohen, mother of eighteen-year-old-identical twins

The Same but Different is a masterfully written tribute to the complexity of the twin relationship. Reading this book, rich in case studies and insights, is like sitting in on a brilliant psychotherapy session. Joan Friedman takes on the burdensome myth that twins have harmonious relationships and in so doing frees twins to work through their true ambivalence about this key relationship. Her work is also essential reading for all of us mental health professionals who tend to either marginalize or mythologize the twin relationship.

Frederick E. Miller, MD, PhD, Chair, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, Board of Directors Endowed Chair of Academic Medicine, NorthShore University HealthSystem, and Clinical Associate Professor, University of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine

This book offers a deep and thoughtful exploration of the experience of being a twin and the route toward individual development through the minefield of opposing desires regarding sameness and difference. It recognizes that each twinship is as unique as the individual twins in it.

Vivienne Lewin, psychoanalytic psychotherapist, London, author of The Twin in the Transference, and contributor to Siblings in Development

Dr. Joan Friedmans book The Same but Different gives important insights into the challenging process of how to separate and individuate from ones twin. Through adult twin interviews, she informs and guides the reader through this process, enabling twins to celebrate their individual uniqueness while taking pleasure in their twin relationship.

Eileen M. Pearlman, PhD, Psychotherapist; Director, TwInsight; and coauthor of Raising Twins: What Parents Want to Know (and What Twins Want to Tell Them)

The Same but Different is a real eyeopener, offering a new lens with which to view individuals who are multiples. It is a must-read not only for adult multiples but also for parents of multiple-birth children, regardless of their ages.

Betsy Brown Braun, MA, child development and behavior specialist and author of Just Tell Me What to Say and Youre Not the Boss of Me

A terrific book for those who find themselves thrust into twinshipone of the closest relationships imaginable but one you dont get to choose. In The Same but Different, youll learn how to let go of resentment and competition, work through issues of separation and codependence, and build an honest and authentic adult relationship with your twin. Dr. Friedman, speaking with empathy, humor, and firsthand knowledge, explores a terrain that has had little light shone on it.