Cynthia Ruchti - Spouse in the House: Rearranging Our Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other

Spouse in the House combines two of my favorite things: practical marriage advice and humor. Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby weave together wit, wisdom, and biblical principles in a relatable way to help everyone from newlyweds to long-marrieds have a marriage that is enriching and joyful. Married for over forty years with a SITH (spouse in the house) of my own, I found myself highlighting insightful tips and doable strategies, chuckling out loud, and nodding in agreement as I made my way through this enjoyable read.

Shel Harrington, humorist, family law attorney, and author of Over 50, Defined

I just finished Spouse in the House and wrote seventeen pages of application for our marriage of thirty-eight years! I wish Id had this book in the early days of my marriage when I struggled to maintain togetherness without losing my individuality. Becky and Cynthias authentic stories, as well as the attitude adjustments and practices they suggest, have moved me to action already. What a treat that the authors talk back and forth about common issues in marriage and have their husbands contribute too. This book is a sheer gift!

Tammy McLeod, Harvard chaplain and coauthor of Hit Hard

With their incredibly vulnerable, well-researched, and often mirthful writing, Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby provide a timely and timeless resource for anyone who wants to improve their relational life. The wisdom and practicality of Spouse in the House applies to more than just marriage, but to everything God wants to see happen in a church, in the world, in families and couples.

Dr. Patrick McLeod, Harvard chaplain and coauthor of Hit Hard

For twenty-three years, my husband and I have shared our work space as weve each run a business from home. Im clear about the challenges our situation creates. Yet Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melbys new book gave me renewed hope that perhaps well both make it out aliveand well. With candid humor, the authors share laugh-out-loud stories, great resources, and tips from a myriad of friends who know the life-sucking potential of all that closeness. Whether youre living the togetherness dream or anticipating it with dread, dont miss Spouse in the House!

Deb DeArmond, coauthor of Dont Go to Bed Angry: Stay Up and Fight!

Spouse in the House says it all. With honesty, humor, warmth, and wisdom, Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby give encouragement and practical suggestions for couples sharing the same space 24/7. They remind us that our spouse cant read our mind, respecting and easing the others workload is a gift we can offer each other, and togetherness means more than our bodies being in close proximity. As someone who lives full-time aboard a sailboat with my hubby who works from home, I found this book incredibly insightful.

Grace Fox, codirector of International Messengers Canada, and author of Finding Hope in Crisis

Its a rare book whose title makes you grin and whose content keeps you nodding in recognition on almost every page. Spouse in the House is the gift I want to give every couple trying to maintain a healthy relationship while navigating the uncertain terrain of two people coexisting in the same space. With wit and wisdom, Ruchti and Melby share insights from their own experience along with practical guidance on finances, communication, and a host of other issues confronting those who bump up against their spouse every loving day.

Maggie Wallem Rowe, author of This Life We Share

Ive desperately needed this book for at least five years, since my sweet husband retired and settled down at home. For good. Weve both had to pivot to discover new ways to coordinate a homelife that no longer includes four children and two working parents. Thus, Im absolutely delighted Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby have gifted those of us in the HHATT (Hes Home All the Time) Club with this perky and practical book. With their wise-friend-next-door tone, the authors cover hard topics with grace and mercy. If youre looking to build greater love and health into your marriage, begin with this fabulous book!

Lucinda Secrest McDowell, award-winning author of Soul Strong and Life-Giving Choices

Yes, I have a spouse in the houseor rather, on our eight-hundred-square-foot live-aboard boat. And during the pandemic, we lived in a three-hundred-square-foot RV so we could care for my ninety-two-year-old in-laws! All I can say is that the wisdom, advice, common sense, and practical help in this book took a very stressful circumstance and transformed it into an opportunity to dance lovingly with each other instead of dancing around each other. Couples can move from being mad to being madly in love again. And Bill, my HHATT (Husband Home All the Time), is equally grateful!

Pam Farrel, codirector of Love-Wise, and coauthor of the best seller Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti

Spouse in the House: Rearranging Our Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other

2021 by Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby

Published by Kregel Publications, a division of Kregel Inc., 2450 Oak Industrial Dr. NE, Grand Rapids, MI 49505.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwisewithout written permission of the publisher, except for brief quotations in reviews.

Distribution of digital editions of this book in any format via the internet or any other means without the publishers written permission or by license agreement is a violation of copyright law and is subject to substantial fines and penalties. Thank you for supporting the authors rights by purchasing only authorized editions.

The persons and events portrayed in this book have been used with permission. To protect the privacy of individuals, some names and identifying details have been changed.

Published in association with the Books & Such Literary Management, 52 Mission Circle, Suite 122, PMB 170, Santa Rosa, CA 95409-5370, www.booksandsuch.com.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are from the ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked TLB are from The Living Bible copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available from the Library of Congress.

ISBN 978-0-8254-4678-8, print

ISBN 978-0-8254-7727-0, epub

Printed in the United States of America

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To Bill.

That ought to cover it, since we both have a spouse in the house named Bill.