Julie Morgenlender - The Things We Dont Say: An Anthology of Chronic Illness Truths

Does this count as a chronic illness? When I asked people to contribute personal essays for this anthology, I was shocked the first time someone asked me this. By the fifth time, I was no longer shocked but still saddened. The fact that so many of us doubt the legitimacy of our health situations due to our stigmatization and erasure by society is exactly why this book is necessary.

I dont remember when I first thought of creating an anthology about life with chronic illness, because in some sense, I have always wanted to do it. Every time I thought about it, it felt necessary and right.

When I first developed symptoms as a child, and for many years thereafter, I looked for community. I couldnt find any. For eleven years I didnt have a diagnosis, so I didnt fit into any of the existing support groups. There was no obvious nonprofit to call. In the early years, there were no blogs or websites to check, no social media to reach out on. When the web eventually became a source for information, I still couldnt find anything helpful for my situation.

These days, there are more places to turn to if you are undiagnosed, but its still hard to find a place where you fit. And what happens when you have a diagnosis? You still feel isolated. You have doubts. Its lonely. At least, thats how it was for me.

I started an anonymous blog about my own chronic illness feelings and experiences. It has been a great outlet for me to vent my frustrations and joys. It has also provided others with useful information and a sense that they arent alone in their struggles. I have had many people comment to tell me that they feel the same way about something I described, to say they are glad to know they arent the only ones, or to simply thank me for talking about the aspects of chronic illness that are rarely, if ever, discussed. I would like to think many more who have never commented are also helped.

At some point I began to think about writing a book about my own situation. I felt there could be value for others in that. But the more I thought about it, the more I first wanted to share other peoples voices in addition to my own. I thought about those feelings of isolation and confusion that so many of us have.

I felt that way once before, when I first realized I was bisexual. Then, a couple years after I figured it out, I came across an anthology about being bisexual. The stories felt familiar. I remember thinking, Im not the only one! and it was incredibly comforting. I wanted to provide that feeling of comfort and validation to people with chronic illnesses, too.

As this idea took shape, I realized that not only could people with chronic illnesses benefit directly, but we could also benefit by sharing our journeys with our loved ones. I imagine parents, children, partners, siblings, friends, teachers, and others reading these stories. I imagine someone who has struggled to explain their experiences and feelings to their loved ones handing over a copy of this book and saying, Please read this particular story. It explains what I have been trying to tell you.

This book contains the truths of our lived experiences, including the ones we rarely share. In the process of creating this book, I asked followers to vote on many potential titles. Each time, there was one clear, outstanding winner: The Things We Dont Say: An Anthology of Chronic Illness Truths . This title speaks to people because we want others to understand what we dont say, what we attempt to say, and what we are finally saying in these pages.

I want everyone to find themselves represented here. These personal essays speak about many different topics, many different illnesses, and many different lifestyles. The authors included in this book span different ages, gender identities, sexual orientations, religions, races, ethnicities, and countries of origin. They are parents, siblings, children, grandparents, friends, students, employers, employees, and more. Some write under their real names while others use pseudonyms. My hope is that every reader with chronic illnesses can find at least one author or personal essay with which they identify. That is why every essay includes a short biography, a location, and a headshot of the author. I want you to feel that you know the author and can relate to their situation.