Sharon Naylor Toris - The Bride & Groom Thank-You Guide: A Thoroughly Modern Manual for Expressing Your Gratitude-Quickly, Painlessly and Personally!

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Table of Contents

Most Perigee Books are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchases for sales promotions, premiums, fund-raising, or educational use. Special books, or book excerpts, can also be created to fit specific needs.

For details, write: Special Markets, The Berkley Publishing Group, 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014.

This book is dedicated to Anthony Botti, Gigi Diamond, Gary Berman and Martin Greenberg with my thanks and love.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

A great big THANK YOU to my editors, Michelle Howry and Meg Leder at Perigee, for their guidance and enthusiasm for this project. My deepest gratitude for welcoming me to their home.

Hugs and daisies to my agent, the great Meredith Bernstein, for her unfailing support and tremendous multi-tasking, genius vision and fabulous style.

With love to my family and friends, to the newest reasons for my heart to dance, and to the sweet kindness of strangers. Michelle Norelli is one such angel I could never thank enough for her generosity of spirit, and Brianne Phillips deserves a bouquet of roses for the joy she brings to people and the good work she does in the world.

With monumental thanks to my mother, Joanne, and my father, Andy... true heroes to me and to all who know them.

INTRODUCTION

This is an amazing time for you! Youre most likely so filled with joy at the parties thrown for you, the congratulations of family and friends, the excitement of preparing for the wedding and for your future to come, that youre overwhelmed with love and happiness. Behind all that excitement, though, perhaps theres a bit of dread about the big task of writing all of those thank-you notes?

How do you express your gratitude the right way? How do you do it without sounding sappy or scripted? Youre searching for the right words to say Thank Youto your parents, to your bridal party, to your guests, to the experts who help you plan the wedding. After all, these people helpedin small and large waysto create the most important day of your lives. That deserves something better than a one-liner in a greeting card, right? Absolutely.

Put away the worry and the dread. Were going to make this fun. And efficient. Youre going to get your thank-you notes written in record time, and were going to make them extra-special by adding the secret ingredient that has been missing in thank yous from generations past.

Grooms, youre involved, too. As a full planning partner with the bride, these thank-you notes are yours to write as well. Youll team up to write them, address them, stamp them and mail them, since youve been the recipient of so much generosity and kindness as your wedding approaches, too. Youll also find your own section in this book on the thank-you notes youll write for the help you receive with your tasks.

As you know, weddings have changed dramatically through the decades. People will now travel from across the globe to attend your celebration. The people you know and love may be more involved in helping to plan the wedding as their gift to you. If you have them, your kids may be involved; and of course youll need to thank each other for all youre doing as a team to plan the Big Day and for all you are to one another as a couple.

If it sounds like you have more thank yous to write for more categories, thats absolutely correct. But dont let that intimidate you. Lots of these extra thank yous can be done through e-mail or through a greeting card. So were going to start off by making your job easier as we help you be the gracious bride and groom throughout the whole process.

You know its the people behind the gifts and the favors who matter most, so thats where were going to focus. In the upcoming pages, youll learn ways to personalize your notes in order to add a depth of sentiment and appreciation that your guests will love. Youll also discover the newest trends in thank-you categories, such as sending notes to people who couldnt attend the wedding but sent a gift anyway, thanking guests for gift cards, sending a thank you for a gift you know youll return, thanking for gifts off your honeymoon registry or your charitable registry and more. Well also cover ways to beat the Monotony Problem, presenting you with plenty of options for saying a gift is lovely, or useful, or thoughtful. The Bride and Groom Thank-You Guide will give you everything you need to create a meaningful thank you: wording suggestions, quotes you can use, answers to all of your style questions and the freedom to talk like yourselves!

In addition to getting the wording just right, youll also find a chapter on making your own thank-you notes as a budget alternative to ordering them professionally and formally made. This book will discuss materials, layout, wording and accents, even software you can use to create custom-made thank yous that rival those other couples are spending hundreds of dollars for. Youll learn everything there is to know about how to order or make your notesfrom paper styles to font colors, layouts to monograms. All to give your beautifully-written notes the perfect presentation.

And speaking of presentation, youll also discover how to add a little something extra to your thank-you message: video of the two of you from your wedding. The newest and most exciting addition to the world of thank-you notes is sending a message, taped on your wedding day, on a DVD or video streamed onto your website. These fun videotaped messages make you the star of your own thank-you movie!

Its my pleasure and honor to help you through this process of writing your thank-you notes, as I find that this is one of the most meaningful parts of your celebration. While you have a long list of thank yous to write for so many presents, its the love behind the list that matters most. Youre so very adored by all of your family and friends. Youre lucky to have so much, tangible and intangible, given to you by them all. When you write your thank-you notes with this deeper level of gratitude in mind, it will come through in what you write. And that is the big secret of writing unforgettable notes.

So now, dear bride and groom, lets get started....

PART ONE

The Foundation of Your Thank-You Notes

Throughout your entire wedding planning process, youll find occasion for sending many different kinds of thank-you notesformal, informal, handwritten, even a quick e-mail Thanks for the suggestion! We love the caterer you recommended! A great thank you comes in many forms, whether its a traditional treat for the recipient, such as your wedding thank-you note with portrait, or a hi-tech message, such as a DVD with a video greeting that you taped at your wedding.

Its a new world of saying thank you, and the method makes as much of an impression as the wording you use. This section will offer you a primer on selecting the right format and formality for your notes, giving you a variety of options for the many chances youll have to show your gratitude. And since you dont want any missteps, Ive included the top fifteen thank-you note mistakes to save you from any social gaffes along the way.

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