Allison Wood - Life Hacks for Military Spouses: Advice, Wit, and Humor from Those Who Served Behind the Scenes

Copyright 2021 by Kristen Riffle, Allison Wood, and Tracey Enerson Wood
Illustrations 2021 by Kaitlin Walsh

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Cover design by Daniel Brount

Cover illustration by Kaitlin Walsh

Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-6235-0

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-6236-7

Printed in China

Contents

Introduction

Military life boasts of travel to exotic places, immersion in the worldly cultures and cuisine that most Americans can only dream about... and on the governments dime, to boot!

At least, thats what the common perception is. But those who have served know that while the above may be true, military life comes with its own set of challenges and can be a hardship as much as it is rewarding.

Here to help is the advice, guidance, and personal stories of spouses from all walks of life, in stages from the newlywed to the retired and properly salty. They share tips on overcoming the numerous obstacles, and navigating the special culture, traditions, and the one-of-a-kind lingo of military service.

Gathered mostly from those who are affiliated with the military, but also from those with similar diplomatic lifestyles, the anecdotes reveal the special bond they share with their fellow spouses, and the wisdom gained to pass to the next generation.

The very special illustrations were created by a talented Air Force wife, and reflect both the strong beauty and earnestness of those who are engaged in our nations most serious business, and yet, have learned to not take themselves too seriously.

PART 1

Annoying Acronyms and Other Gibberish

OH, FUN! MORE THINGS TO LEARN!

Where do I start? When you receive orders to move, you will have one million things to figure out. The first is how to read those orders. HHE, UAB, PCS, THA, to name just a few. But basically these all have to do with your life, your belongings, where they are going, and how they are going to get there.

These are things you need to know. These are things you often have to figure out for yourself. It also doesnt help that every branch/agency has their own variation of these, their own way of saying the same thing.

Once you figure these out, dont worrythere are moreand they will keep coming. Your spouse will start speaking in this abbreviated language and youd better learn the lingo to be able to keep up. Who knows, you may be fluent soon. You can also try creating your own acronyms to keep him on his toes and have some fun of your own.

Victoria Griffith

ALPHABET SOUP

When joining the military community, you must learn the recipe for alphabet soup as you will be inundated by acronyms from day one. The good news is that now, Millennials and Gen Z have their own unique new words and phrases and will likely acclimate to this recipe quickly. As a young spouse decades ago with no military affiliation prior to my marriage, I often botched the recipe!

The first hack is to not be easily fooled by what you think you know, and the second hack is to know where the official recipe books are.

Hack 1: When encountering acronyms in military information, dont be fooled by those that seem familiar or that you think you understand. The alphabet recipe changes with time and has been influenced with the development of new equipment, operations or programs, or unique military humor. A few examples follow.

BZ is known as a naval signal Bravo Zulu, or well done! It can also mean Buffer Zone and is the name of more than one commercial activity. It can also stand for below the zoneor early promotion in rank.

CC in my world always meant to copy a designated person on an email or document. A person on my team recounted a story that she received a message to send the message to CC. She was baffled and asked the colonel she worked for to identify all those to be copied on the message. The colonel did not reply to her question and suggested that she immediately learn military terms. In this case it meant Command & Control. Big botch!

Etsy and Pinterest have DIY projects; the military acronym for do-it-yourself is DITY , most commonly used for a DITY move. A DITY move seems like a good idea, but trust meit is not!

We all have our FAVs that we like on social media or mark with hearts in our digital photo albums, but the military FAV is a fast attack vehicle.

Then there is HUD which we all know is the Department of Housing and Urban Development. Not so in the military or in some new cars! It is a head up display.

Lastly, my favorite which I have used in my work many times to tell my team about a new hot taska GOBI a general officer bright idea! I find this acronym to be appropriately expressive with the perfect hint of sarcasm. Its civilian meaning is a South Asian dish or a desert in East Asia.

I could go on and on, but you get the GIST (Graphical Intelligence Support Terminal).

Hack 2: Recognize that the alphabet soup changes constantly. Its best to have a good recipe book for the soup. While Google will always serve up many choices for you, some of which are infused with military humor and quite fun, a few official sources exist that are helpful:

MilitaryOneSource.mil

Defense.gov

jcs.mil/Portals/36/Documents/Doctrine/pubs/dictionary.pdf

Enjoy the alphabet soup and add a few ingredients of your own!

GamGam

PT vs PT, RSO VS RSO, EFM VS EFMLEARN TO ASK!

Nobody wants to look foolish or unknowledgeable. Acronyms undefined can lead to huge misunderstandings. The first time I discovered this was when my now-husband and I were dating.

Geographically separate, we talked on the phone in the evenings. I was working in the medical field and he was stationed halfway across the country. For what seemed like several months, he had been talking about going to PT. One night, he informed me the next day he would be playing football for PT. I lost my temper and demanded to know his physicians name as this was a clear case of malpractice!

Anyone in PT for months on end being told to play football was unbelievable! This is how I learned that PT in the military means physical training and not physical therapy.

This would not be the last time I had to bring the conversation to a halt in order to get clarification. In certain assignments, an EFM is an eligible not exceptional family member and means you can get a job and not that you need special services.