Cathy Hamilton - The Girlfriends Bible
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- Book:The Girlfriends Bible
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- Publisher:Andrews McMeel Publishing
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- Year:2009
- Rating:4 / 5
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The Good Book for women to live by!
The creator of Boyfriend-in-a-Box is back with a book that lays down the law, chapter and verse, for female relationships. Friendship between women is sacred. The Girlfriends Bible is filled with hilarious scriptures that women can and do live by. What a divine way to tell your best gal pal how valuable that friendship is.
Women and girlfriends of all ages will find bits of inspirational encouragement on every page:
- When you are heavy laden with PMS poundage, I will take your burden for you and deny thy girth.
- I shalt not steal your boyfriend, hairdo, or signature color.
- When you get older, I shall forsake you not. For friends are like wine-the older, the better. You can get equally drunk with old or new wine. But intoxication with old wine is far more pleasurable.
- If your cup runneth over because your bra is too small and you look like a common whore, I will tell you, just as you would tell me about a visible panty line.
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The Girlfriends Bible Copyright 2004 by Cathy Hamilton. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews. For information, write Andrews McMeel Publishing, an Andrews McMeel Universal company, 1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, MO 64106. E-ISBN: 978-0-7407-8950-2 Library of Congress Control Number: 2003112471www.andrewsmcmeel.com The Girlfriends Bible trademark is owned by Vicki Iovine and is licensed to Andrews McMeel Publishing. Attention: Schools and Businesses
Andrews McMeel books are available at quantity discounts with bulk purchase for educational, business, or sales promotional use.
For information, please write to: Special Sales Department, Andrews McMeel Publishing
For my girlfriendspast, present, and future. 
F EAR not, for I am your girlfriend. 
C RY out to me in times of trouble, and I will comfort you with ice cream, liquor, or the sedative of your choice. W HITHER thou goest, I will go. Whither thou sleepest, I will never tell. Y EA, though you walk through the valley of cracked sidewalks in high heels, do not fear.
For I will be there to pick you up when you fall on your ass. I WILL do unto you as you do unto me. And when you do unto me as I would never dream of doing unto you, I will forgive you, after I curse you and denounce your name. I SHALL not take thy name in vain. Even when I am enraged with you for standing me up to be with a man or for spilling wine on my favorite silk dress, my tongue shall never be forked. I SHALT not steal your boyfriend, hairdo, or signature fragrance. I SHALT not covet your man, clothes, handbags, or shoes. (Or, if I do, I shalt keep my coveting to myself.) W HOSOEVER may cast aspersions and call you a whore, slut, or fashion victim, shall be wise to fear me. (Or, if I do, I shalt keep my coveting to myself.) W HOSOEVER may cast aspersions and call you a whore, slut, or fashion victim, shall be wise to fear me.
Because I will rise up and lash out at the aspersion caster. For you are my girlfriend and whosoever asperses you, asperses me. 
L ET me be your rock. * When your confidence is shaken by nasty rumormongers or jealous ex-boyfriends, come to me and I will build you up again. * When you are afraid of a blind date, first day on the job, or ob-gyn appointment, I will bolster your courage with feeble pep talks. W HEN you come to me seeking the truth about your man, a new haircut, or swimsuit, ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. C ONFIDE in me your secrets and I will take them to my grave.
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