Michele Howe - Navigating the Friendship Maze: The Search for Authentic Friendship

Introduction

T he irony of Gods timing never ceases to amaze me. Ive been mulling over the importance of womens friendships for years now. I started to picture in my minds eye what friendship would look like if it were displayed like a hand-drawn etching laid out flat on a large table. The shape that immediately leapt to my mind was that of a maze. I could see a full page of partially intersecting pathways that looked promising at the outset but were actually dead ends. Other paths went up and down and all around and just seemed frustrating to follow. Still others took sharp turns and zigzagged back again before progressing ahead. Then there was a path that, although you had to look ahead before committing yourself to move forward, became clearer that this singular road was the right one with each step. A lot like real life friendships, right?

We may begin a friendship only to have it end abruptly. Another friendship may take us on an emotional roller-coaster ride where we feel uneasy and off-kilter most of the time. Others may take us nowhere fast and neither friend seems to mature and grow. And then theres the path to biblical friendship where we are sensitive to Gods leading, we understand the high stakes of commitment involved, and we quite happily begin the journey of life together confident that our friendship is a God-honoring, authentic one.

The book you hold in your hands is the product of the maze I described above. Im excited to share with you Navigating the Friendship Maze: The Search for Authentic Friendship, presented in three sections that I hope will guide you through the ins and outs of biblical friendship. Well discuss first the definition of biblical friendship and why a biblical friendship is essential, as opposed to a more casual one. Next, we will explore the various types of friends every woman needs in her life. Did you realize you need different types of friends? You do, and so do I! Finally, we dive into ten practical ways to be a friend who stays committed and stays the distance.

Back to my opening statement about the irony of Gods timing in our lives. When I began writing this book, I was going through what I would call my lonely-stretch season. One of my best friends moved to another city. Another friend was hectically busy caring for her elderly, dying father while juggling work and weekly babysitting commitments for her grandchildren. Another friends adult daughter, husband, and three grandchildren moved back into their family home while her daughters house was being built and as her daughter was undergoing cancer treatments. Still another friend had spent much of the past five months traveling to another state to assist her daughter, who had just given birth to premature twin girls. For my part, I had been exhausted from the spring season and was so looking forward to a lazy, hazy summer reprieve. Instead of relishing the sun, beach, and the promise of three months to replenish my energy supply, the summer was overrun with work, repairs, travel, more work, and still more house repairs.

During that summer, my friends and I tried to squeeze in a couple of hours here or there to just chat and catch up, but it never happened. For some crazy reason, every time I was free my friends were not and vice versa. After weeks of scheduling nightmares, I decided to step back and concentrate on my work, my family, and my responsibilities and be thankful for the long-distance communication we shared as friends. I kept being reminded that here I was writing a book on the importance of having good, solid female friends who consistently build into ones life and I was enduring a season without much contact from mine.

I had to laugh at the irony. Over time, as I sat down at my computer and labored over each chapter, I realized more keenly than ever how powerful biblical friendships are and how they impact our lives for good. With every chapter I worked on, I felt the subtle sting of missing my friends presence more and more. I realized afresh how much I need my friends wise words, encouragement, inspiration, laughter, perspectives, and yes, even their gentle words of correction. I honestly believe that God allowed me to be set apart, alone and lonely, all through the summer months, so that he could remind me of all the ways he intends for friendships to bless our lives.

It is now well into the fall season as I write this, and Im thankful to report that Ive been able to spend some much needed time with several of my friends and have scheduled more coffee dates in the coming weeks. I hope that as you, dear reader, work through these thirty chapters on learning the here-and-now importance (as well as the eternal repercussions) of navigating the friendship maze with wisdom, insight, and relational savvy, that God will bless you deeply. We all need someone (or a few someones) to walk alongside us through lifes sometimes treacherous, wearisome paths. Heres to biblical friendships and all that they do to enrich our lives for Gods glory and our good!