Michele Howe - Preparing, Adjusting, and Loving the Empty Nest

Chapter 1

The name of the LORD is a fortified tower;

the righteous run to it and are safe.

Proverbs 18:10

Our weakness will not get in the way of what the Lord wants to do in us. Our delusions of strength will! The power of God is for the weak! The grace of God is for the unable! The promises of God are for the faint! The wisdom of God is for the foolish!

Paul Tripp

I felt totally unprepared, I had trouble sleeping at night, and I cried when alone. Some memories never quite leave you. These intense emotions of feeling undone and afraid bombarded me in the weeks prior to leaving for college some thirty-five years ago. Whoa! Talk about the power of emotion-charged memories. Every parent I know wants their children to avoid the pain they experienced in their younger years. What we all tend to forget is that no amount of parental training can fully insulate those we love from lifes growing pains. Sure, we can focus on getting our children ready to meet the world by teaching them skills and abilities to cope with everyday life. But if were wise, we wont neglect the greatest insurance policy available on planet earth: a robust personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Given how utterly terrified I was about leaving home for the first time and going away to college, Ive thought a lot about what I could have done differently. If I could speak to my then eighteen-year-old self, I would tell that young woman to stop wasting time attempting to figure everything out in advance. I would whisper in her ear that no matter how much energy she expended worrying, it wouldnt make a whit of difference. Most importantly, I would sit her down and tell her about the faithfulness of our God. I would give her the keys to the kingdom by showing her how to build the solidest of foundations for life. We would open Gods word together and carefully go through those passages that tell of Gods character and of his love for her. I would then hand her a journal, and we would begin jotting down these same Scripture verses for those moments when fear and worry would raise their ugly heads in the days ahead.

Knowing what I know now, I would spend the majority of my time investing in my own relationship with Jesus Christ by getting to know him better and better. Of course, I cannot go back in time to school myself. I can, however, guide my own children through these same paces so that their foundation for life is rock solid. It goes without saying that wise parents will teach their kids to be responsible members of society. Instructing our children as they grow in those age-appropriate tasks and skills is vital in enabling them to care for themselves once they leave home. Still, at the heart of parenting lies a greater taskthat of instilling a deep and abiding love for God that will carry our children through every storm theyll face in the years to come.