Eric Ludy - Teaching True Love to a Sex-at-13 Generation: The Ultimate Guide for Parents

TEACHING
TRUE LOVE
TO A
SEX-AT-13 GENERATION

The Ultimate Guide for Parents

ERIC AND LESLIE LUDY

TEACHING TRUE LOVE TO A SEX-AT-13-GENERATION

2005 Eric and Leslie Ludy

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Thomas Nelson, Inc., titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV). 1973, 1978, 1984. International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

Other Scripture references are from the following sources:

The King James Version of the Bible (KJV).

J. B. Phillips: The New Testament in Modern English, Revised Edition (PHILLIPS). J. B. Phillips 1958, 1960, 1972. Used by permission of Macmillan Publishing Co., Inc.

New American Standard Bible (NASB). 1960, 1962, 1964, 1968, 1971, 1973, 1975, 1977 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, California. Used by permission.

Cover Design: David Uttley, UDG/Design Works,
www.udgdesignworks.com

Published in association with Loyal Arts Literary Agency,
www.LoyalArts.com

ISBN 978-0-8499-4256-3

Printed in the United States of America
08 19 10 11 12 QW 9 8 7 6 5 4 3

OTHER BOOKS BY ERIC AND LESLIE LUDY

When God Writes Your Love Story
The Ultimate Approach to Guy-Girl Relationships

When God Writes Your Life Story
Experience the Ultimate Adventure

When Dreams Come True
A Love Story Only God Could Write

Authentic Beauty
The Shaping of a Set-Apart Young Woman

Gods Gift to Women
Discovering the Lost Greatness of Masculinity

CONTENTS

God has so much more for our children than pop-culture conformity, spiritual atrophy, and sexual preoccupation. But for our kids to be among the rare few who push aside the mediocre life of selfishness and press forward into Gods endless frontier, they need parents who are unwilling to let them settle in the land of compromise. Great parents, submitted to the vast potential of God, raise up great children.

Leslie

IT WAS JUST A SMALL PIECE of torn notebook paper. But the words it contained have haunted me for many years. In a childlike scrawl, a young girl had written a heart-wrenching message: My mom is pressuring me to go out and date boys and have sex. Im only twelve years old... help!

Almost ten years have passed since I read that startling note. It was sent to me not long after Eric and I had begun working with young people around the country. I used to think that this young girl was merely an exception to the norm, that her mother was one of the few parents alive who was actually willing to taint her daughters innocence in order to stay in step with the worlds sexual program.

But after years of working with hundreds of thousands of youth and parents, Eric and I have come face to face with a disturbing reality. Todays sexual crisis hasnt merely crept into our pop culture... it has crept into our homes. The very place where kids should find a refuge from the slime of modern culture has often become the very place where their relational futures are undermined before they even begin.

If you have picked up this book, you are likely as concerned as we are for the future of todays younger generation. Youve observed the disconcerting trends of modern youth, and you want something more for your children. You want to help them discover something better.

If that is how you feel, you are among a rare breed of parents todayparents willing to go the extra mile to help their kids escape todays sexual morass. And you are desperately needed. Because the rescue plan for todays sex-at-thirteen generation must start within our homes.

Over the past ten years, Eric and I have had the opportunity to interact closely with countless young people. Theyve shared their struggles, their fears, their desperation, and their dreams with us. Theyve given us a clear look into the battle they face on a daily basisthe intense pressure they feel to settle for the destructive cultural norm of our times. And over and over again, theyve shared with us one of their deepest longings... a desire for heroic parents; parents who are willing to do whatever it takes to help them discover something better, parents who call them to a higher standard and offer them the support and practical guidance to help them reach it.

Recently I spent an intimate weekend with forty-eight Christian young women and heard their personal stories. Though most had Christian backgrounds, well over half of them had come from home environments plagued by sexual abuse, marital affairs, and/or divorce. A disturbingly high percentage of them had parents who never expected more for them than the typical path of sexual compromise. These young women had been left to face the pressure of the culture on their own. They were crying out for a support system, parents who would love them enough to point them toward something better. But typically, their parents were too absorbed with their own problems to notice how desperately their kids needed their guidance and godly example.

These young women are representative of an entire generation of young people that has been left to figure things out on their own. Todays parents are often so distracted by the downward spiral of their own lives that they fail to be the supporters and leaders the younger generation so acutely needs. As a result, todays young people all too often follow the deadly trends of the culture simply because no one has ever shown them a better way.

Our prayer is that this book will equip you, as a parent or leader, to become the answer to this generations most urgent need. If the younger generation is ever to escape the slime of the culture and experience vibrant successful relationships and marriages, they need parents who will rise to the challenge and point them to Gods highest.

We pray that this message will inspire you to embrace that sacred call.

This book is not written from a parent-to-parent perspective. Rather, this book is written from the perspective of the younger generation.We want this book to serve as a voice to you from todays young people. We want to help articulate their perspective and help you better understand what they need and desire from you as parents. We pray the words contained within these pages will give you a vision for your amazing role in the transformation of a generation, and offer you the practical tools to see that vision become a reality.

Eric and I were blessed with incredible parentsparents who, like you, were willing to go the extra mile to help their children discover something better than the cultural norm. Throughout this book, we give glimpses of our parents personal journey and impact upon our lives. They have been gracious enough to allow us to openly share with you not only their victories, but their struggles and failures as well. It is not our parents perfection, but their heart motivation that we seek to honor in this book. We are eternally grateful to them for the amazing foundation they have given us. We hope you will be inspired and uplifted by their example.