Rowan Davis - The Ex-Boyfriend Book: A Zodiac Guide to Your Former Flames

Llewellyn Publications

Woodbury, Minnesota

The Ex-Boyfriend Book: A Zodiac Guide to Your Former Flames 2008 by Rowan Davis.

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First e-book edition 2010

E-book ISBN: 9780738728711

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Cover art 2007 Kun-Sung Chung

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Acknowledgments

For me, because I wanted to, and it was far better than boring myself to death. And thanks to my forgiving husband, without whom I never would have learned the correct way to squeeze the toothpaste tube.

Contents

Introduction

The dynamics of a breakup often are very complicated and hurtful. Deducing whos to blame, what can be done about it now, and whether theres a reason to feel guilty or betrayed can produce obsessive thoughts once a breakup has occurred. Understanding the astrology of the situation can give you a glimpse into these dynamics and help ease the pain and confusion surrounding the breakup. In the following pages, I give brief examples of what to expect from each sign after a breakup, how your own sign will handle it, and what you can do now.

As an ex, you must deal with the reality of playing a new role in your former lovers life. The bond the two of you shared and the right you had to know about his life and whereabouts are gone. Sometimes its possible to create a friendship where romance once flourished, but sometimes too much resentment has built up or too much has happened between you for either to pretend that everythings okay. Either way, the changing of roles and the replacement of lovers is a difficult process. If you understand what hurdles youre facing and what to expect from your ex, then youre likely to escape with less pain and regret than you would have otherwise.

No matter what you decide to do now or how you choose to pull through, recovery is something we all cant help but do, for its true that time heals all wounds. There always will be someone to love, and fate never shows us a glimpse of happiness without allowing us to make mistakes and then try again. If only we could be as forgiving of ourselves as life is with us! Then we could understand that pain teaches valuable lessons, mistakes are made, and those we once chose to idolize are beautiful for their humanity and not their divinity. It is human nature to despise and envy those who are perfect; we simply would rather not be near them. Oh, but the troubled, the hurting, and the ones who learn from their mistakesin essence, the ones who promise us that we can succeed as they have succeededthose are the ones we love. Similarly, every relationship begins with something good, such as desire, admiration, or adoration, and yet when its over, we are so quick to condemn, demonize, personalize, and toss aside anything that was positive about it. The good has not disappeared, but we dont see it anymore because we no longer are looking for it.

We humans can talk ourselves into anything. Most of us use this ability to make ourselves believe that we are right and that our problems stem from other people and not ourselves. All signs are subject to this. Some are quick to recover from a breakup, and some are very slow. No matter what has happened or what sign you are, try to look at the world with the compassion you would give to yourself at your lowest moment and the joy you celebrate at your highest. Never forget that, on any given day, you can share, teach, and love people, or you can hate, resent, and ruin them. Its your choice. In the following pages, I present enough negativity associated with each sign that I hope your mind will rebel and start to remember all of the positive things that I have missed. Love is much more important than hate, although hate can be fun sometimes.

Aries

The Aries Ex-Boyfriend

Dates: March 21April 20

Planet: Mars

Element: Cardinal fire

Representation: Ram

You might think that being the ex-girlfriend of an Aries will be easy; after all, hes been threatening to leave you since the two of you got together. Unfortunately, now that you are apart, hes not quite sure what to do with himselfespecially if you were the one who initiated the breakup. Following the logic of the Aries male, he protected you from the embarrassment of all of your faults while the two of you were an item, and now that you are not, welcome to a no-holds-barred battle of wills, egos, and reputations. This is one man who doesnt enjoy failing at anything, and regardless of who is at fault for the ending of your affair, he will do his best to make sure the world sees that you are the one lacking in what it took to keep the relationship going.

As an infantile idealist, the Aries has been on the lookout for his Perfect Woman ever since he discovered that his mother had faults, and he probably attempted to mold you into this image of the ideal woman once or twice (can you say understatement ?) during your relationship. Nothing you did was good enough for him, and he made sure you knew how generous and hopeful he was by staying with you anywaydespite all your flaws. Actually, when it really came down to it, he not only wanted your acknowledgment that he was a good person for remaining in a relationship with you, but he also demanded your devotion and even reverence because of it.

If theres one thing an Aries is good at, its extracting a commitment from even the most hesitant of women. If you thought that dating an Aries male was difficult, youll find that in the breakup he will attempt to engage you in such a way that if you were to blindly follow his lead, youd end up even more involved and committed to him than you were when you two were an item, because now hes free to do what he wants while you remain his avid subject. This is a man who hates to have people dislike him, unless he can fathom a good reason for them doing so that leaves no doubt as to his superioritysuch as if they are jealous. If you left him, then he has been made uncomfortably aware that there just might be something wrong with him or with something he did. He cant stand it. He is desperate for reassurance that on some level you still want him, and he will go to any length to prove to himself that you are the one with the problem.