Dean Burnett - Why Your Parents Are Driving You Up the Wall and What To Do About It: THE BOOK EVERY TEENAGER NEEDS TO READ

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First published 2019

Text copyright Dean Burnett, 2019
Illustrations copyright Katie Abey, 2019

The moral right of the author and illustrator has been asserted

Text design by Mandy Norman

ISBN: 978-0-241-40315-0

All correspondence to
Penguin Books
Penguin Random House Childrens
80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL

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Dedicated to Sian and Peter Burnett, my own parents.

When I wrote this book,
I promise I WASNT thinking of you.
Much.

Hang on, of course you have parents. Unless youre reading this in the future and theyve worked out some way of making people from scratch. Probably with robots.

Let me start again.

Are you a twenty-first-century person, made by human parents in some version of the traditional (lets not go there) way? And can these parents be literally the most annoying people in the world ever?

If so, this book is for you.

Have you found yourself arguing with them recently about pretty much everything? Is this stressing you out?

In this book, Im going to tell you Hang on. I should introduce myself.

Hello, Im Dean, and this is my book.

Technically, my full title is Dr Dean Burnett, but if we ever meet in person its just Dean, honestly. If youre holding one of my books, Ive no business getting all snooty.

I really am a doctor, though. Not a say ah, let me look in your ear type doctor. Ive got a PhD, or doctorate, which is what they give you when you spend a really long time learning about one thing. For me that was neuroscience: the study of the brain and nervous system. Basically, Im a doctor of brains.

Ive learned a lot about the human brain, so much so that Ive ended up writing books about it. Like the one youre holding now. However, this book isnt like my previous ones. This one is better, because its not for adults. Its for someone more interesting. You.

I should probably say, Im assuming that you are a human adolescent. An adolescent is anyone in an intermediate stage of development, between child and adult. This stage seems to be starting earlier with each generation, and at present it begins at age 11 or 12. You can trust me on this Im a science person.

But adolescent isnt a word that we use every day most of the time people talk about children, teenagers or adults. So, in this book, when I refer to teenagers, that includes 10- to 12-year-olds too. Because, scientifically speaking, people that age are teenagers, adolescents. Its not the label thats wrong; its numbers. They should go: seven, eight, nine, tenteen, eleventeen, twelveteen, thirteen

But this book is specifically meant for those of you aged between 10 and 16. Obviously anyone and everyone can read it, but if you fall into that age range, welcome!

Everything that follows is especially for you .

This book is unusual because its about the relationship between teenagers and their parents.

Now, thats not actually an unusual subject for someone to write about, but the millions of words in the other books, articles, resources, leaflets and websites about the teenagerparent relationship are written for parents, and explain how to deal with their oh-so-difficult teenage offspring.

This book, however, is for you, and explains how to deal with your difficult parents.

Because lets face it: they can be impossible. It can often feel like theres not a single area of your life they dont have a wrong opinion about from how you spend your time to who your friends are and how you communicate with them.

They can give you a hard time even when youre not in a good mood about something! So they want a say in your actual feelings!

Youve probably noticed that youve been disagreeing with and resenting your parents a lot more than when you were younger.

Its as if, after years of being reliable, theyve suddenly started malfunctioning.

So I guess what you probably need is a users manual to understand whats going on.

Well, nobodys really.

The first thing to say is, theres nothing wrong with any of you. Teenagers and adults butting heads is a fact of life. One of the earliest recorded examples of an adult moaning about kids today can be found in the writings of Socrates, the ancient Greek philosopher who lived around two and a half thousand years ago.

What he said was:

Sounds familiar, right? All thats missing is:

Clearly, teenagers like you have been arguing with parents for thousands of years. The real question is why is it automatically your fault? Why is it you who needs to be managed, dealt with, handled, or any other word that makes it seem like youre the one in the wrong?

This is something thats bugged me for a very long time. Because, like every other adult on Earth, I was once a teenager myself. And while your teens are always a confusing, chaotic and stressful time, what with all the changes going on in your body and brain, I remember there were plenty of things I was told that seemed inconsistent, or just plain unfair.

I would occasionally mention this to my parents, teachers or any other adult whod listen, and what did they say? Youll understand when youre older.