Vikram Vij - Vijs at Home: Relax, Honey: The Warmth and Ease of Indian Cooking

Recipes copyright 2010 by Meeru Dhalwala and Vikram Vij
Text copyright 2010 by Meeru Dhalwala
Wine notes copyright 2010 by Vikram Vij and Mike Bernardo

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Douglas & McIntyre

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Vancouver bc Canada v t s

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Cataloguing data available from Library and Archives Canada

isbn 978-1-55365-572-5 (pbk.)

isbn 978-1-55365-824-5 (ebook)

Editing by Lucy Kenward

Copy editing by Iva Cheung

Cover and text design by Naomi MacDougall

Photography by John Sherlock

Printed and bound in Canada by Friesens

Text printed on fsc -certified, acid-free paper

We gratefully acknowledge the financial support of the Canada Council for the Arts,
the British Columbia Arts Council, the Province of British Columbia through
the Book Publishing Tax Credit and the Government of Canada through the
Canada Book Fund for our publishing activities.

One Sunday evening before writing this book, we sat down with a bottle of wine and the goal of reflecting on what we wanted to write, why we wanted to write and just how much we wanted to share about our home. Instead we stared at one another in wonderment that, after almost fifteen years, we have managed to stay married, work together and still have fun together. Meeru wanted to turn the evening into a reflective therapy session, but Vikram said, Relax, honey, and just enjoy right now.

Relax, honey has been our phrase of survival. Its our cue to each other that All is fine and I still love you or, in many cases, Im not mad at you anymore. We dont throw around this phrase carelesslywhichever one of us says it is the one who will take responsibility to help the other relax. That particular Sunday evening Vikram cooked dinner and made sure to include lots of vegetables in the lamb stew so that Meeru could actually relax with the knowledge that everyone was getting enough vitamins and fibre. (If Meeru had said Relax, honey, she would have made the lamb stew with lots of cream and potatoes for Vikram and served the vegetables on the side.)

Days or weeks will go by when neither Meeru nor Vikram has uttered the words Relax, honey, and the entire family knows that were working and functioning but not necessarily enjoying one anothers company. Sometimes, Meeru will wait for Vikram to say it first and Vikram will wait for Meeru, because neither of us wants to take the first step and make the effort. In such ruts, dinner is what always breaks the iceMeeru (or Vikram) will have come up with a brand-new recipe and is so excited to share it that shell say the words as he walks into the kitchenRelax, honey. I made a really cool dinner tonight.

For the first thirteen years of our marriage, we didnt have a proper place to eat as a family. Our actual dining room served as a combination of Meerus office and a playroom so that she could work and be with our daughters, Nanaki and Shanik. The kitchen was crowded. There, we had an invisible, grey table for four, which exuded convenience but no leisure whatsoever. Although we always had Sunday- or Monday-night family meals, on most other nights Meeru would feed the girls an earlier dinner, and then she and Vikram would eat later. We also didnt feel too guilty leaving that table and taking our dinner to the sofa in front of the television.

When we had dinner parties, either we would go through the hassle of emptying our kitchen and bringing in folding bridge tables and chairs (and covering them with tablecloths) or we would just ask our guests to eat with their plates on their laps. Usually there were pre-party marital arguments because Vikram always wanted to use Meerus desk as the dining table and Meeru pushed for people to use their laps.

Finally, two things happened. First, in the summer of 2007, Anthony Bourdains office phoned Vikram, telling him that they wanted to shoot part of the Vancouver episode of No Reservations, Bourdains culinary travel television show, at our home, with the featured Vancouver chefs eating and chatting around our dining table. It seems fair to assume that a chef would have a dining room. For an hour after Vikram informed them that we had no dining room and a crowded kitchen, he decided that this was all Meerus fault. Meeru snapped back that we werent going to ruin our family set-up just for the sake of a TV show.

Second and most important, Nanaki and Shanik (12 1/2 and 10) were growing up and no longer needed a playroom or needed their mom to be near while she worked. They were also getting homework and discovering the joys of pop TV and music. The important toys went up to their bedrooms; Meerus desk and files also went upstairs into an alcove in the hallway, and we had an empty dining room.

So, we had a life-changing moment in the spring of 2008. We set up a dining room in our home and bought a dining table and chairs for eight people. To make this endeavour even more eventful, we spent beyond our savings and bought a dining set that was beautiful to look at and as comforting as a picnic table with duvet seats. We decided that after so many years without a proper eating space, and being in the food business, if there was one thing on which we could splurge, it was our dining room. We went all out and had sideboards, shelves and cupboards built into the room.

To sum up our personalities when it comes to food, its simple: Vikram is robust, while Meeru is thoughtful. This is how each of us shops, cooks and eats. To turn our crowded kitchen into a leisurely cooking place and to furnish a dining room in a way that reflected our complementaryyet sometimes clashingtraits was a treat. We felt like a newly married couple shopping for our new home. We would sneak out from the restaurants while the girls were at school and go dining-room shopping.

One day they came home from school to find the new family dining table, with two beaming parents showing off their latest joint achievement. What they didnt realize at the time, while they stared at one another smiling as if they had crazy parents, was that our family culture was about to change dramatically.

Vikram started waking up earlyalthough he often doesnt get home until 11 p.m.to set the table and make breakfast for everyone. For the first time we started eating breakfast together. To make this experience more pleasing to Vikrams eye, he bought various lovely table runners to set the mood. And although in retrospect this sounds crazy, Meeru started spending more time grooming Nanaki and Shaniks hair and helping them choose outfits. Nicely dressed children added to our ambience-driven pleasure. Of course, after a few weeks the girls decided that enough was enough and took over their own hair and clothes. But they continued to wake up earlier so that we could all spend a half hour together in the mornings.