Gregg Lewis - The Hurting Parent: Help for Parents of Prodigal Sons and Daughters

HERES WHAT READERS
HAVE SAID ABOUT

THE HURTING PARENT

I cant tell you how Ive searched for such a booka comforting, encouraging, inspiring word to Christian parents whose children have rebelled. How I wish I could have had the help from your book when I was waiting on those long, endless nights. But Im thankful I have it now, for my daughter isnt yet in the fold and there are still some anxious moments.

Reading The Hurting Parent was a real ministry to my wife and me in our time of family trauma.

I read The Hurting Parent and immediately ordered five copies for relatives who hurt. My husband, who is a college sociology professor, is going to recommend it for reading in his Marriage and Family class.

I wish I could have had access to such a book years ago. It would have been helpful in dealing with so many families in my parishes through the years.

We will always cherish this book and read it again and again on days we feel discouraged.

My wife and I have been going through a particularly difficult period the last few years because of anorexia, an eating disorder that has gripped two of our children. Our daughter attempted suicide twice. Our son has been close several times. Your book has provided both comfort and guidance. Thank you for writing The Hurting Parent. I use it as a helpful tool in my work for a mental health agency where I counsel many hurting parents.

Recently Ive been on the brink of complete despair. This book has given me new hope as it will many others.

Our thirteen-year-old daughter has worried us to death. She read my copy of The Hurting Parent and with tears in her eyes told me, Ill never run away again.

Ive appreciated the book even though Im not a hurting parent. I can relate as a child and appreciate my parents even more.

Your subject matter in The Hurting Parent could not be more pertinent. My days and nights, as a pastor, are filled with the needs of hurting, brokenhearted parents.

I found it to be an emotional book that made me feel I belonged to a great company of hurting people for whom you were offering comfort, guidance, encouragement, and hope.

I have read many Christian books and have yet to find one with such honest insight and encouragement for suffering parents. (And there are many of us.) Ive already recommended the book to three pastors and two youth leaders, and have personally given away four copies to hurting parents and a counselor with the juvenile court.

I read the book recently and want to thank you. It came to us in the final stage of our crisis. Our unmarried daughter had her baby two days ago.

I have just finished reading The Hurting Parent cover to cover for the second time. The first time I read it I went back to the bookstore and bought four more copies to give away. We have twelve children and have been through 90 percent of the situations covered in your book. It has given me much encouragement and support.

At a flea market, I happened across a table of used paperbacks with your book on it. I was so desperate for some kind of answer to the painful relationship I have with my son that I bought it and started reading right there. That book was like a gift from God himself. It was as if he planted it there for me to find in my time of need. It truly was a miracle for me. I have read it twice and loaned it to a friend. When it wasnt returned to me after nine months, I bought another copy to read for the third time. But I couldnt start it again without dropping you a line to thank you for this wonderful gift. My problems are far from over. But at least now I know Im not going crazy. And Im not alone.

ZONDERVAN

The Hurting Parent

Copyright 1980, 1988 by Margie M. Lewis and Gregg Lewis

Copyright 2009 by Gregg Lewis and Mark E. Lewis

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Zondervan.

ePub Edition December 2009 ISBN: 978-0-310-56256-6

Requests for information should be addressed to:

Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lewis, Margie M., 1923

The hurting parent : help and hope for parents of prodigals / Margie M. Lewis with Gregg Lewis.[Updated and expanded ed.].

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-310-28661-5 (softcover: alk. paper)

1. FamiliesReligious life. 2. Parent and childReligious aspectsChristianity.

3. Problem children. I. Lewis, Gregg, 1951II. Title.

BV4529.L48 2010

248.845dc22 2009040182

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

Other Scripture versions quoted in this book are listed on , which hereby becomes a part of this copyright page.

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers printed in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Cover design: Jeff Gifford

Interior design: Michelle Espinoza

To my loving sons and daughters-in-law
Mack, Mark and Angela, Gregg and Deborah
and my ten grandchildren.

And to Ralph,
my dear husband of fifty-three years,
who lived long enough to see and rejoice with me
over the beginning of the rest of the story.

CONTENTS

In Loves service only the wounded soldiers can serve.
Thornton Wilder

UPDATED AND EXPANDED EDITION

Time and its passage always seem to surprise usno matter how much of it we have experienced. Indeed, much has changed since I helped my mother write the original edition of this book three decades ago.

The seed idea for the book was planted when Mom sent me a letter asking me to pray with her for a friend of hers whose son was a drug addict. The letter prompted me not only to pray for this mother and son, but to think about a number of Christian parents I knew who anguished over their sons and daughters.

As editor of Campus Life magazine at that time, I was unaware of anything written on the subject. But since I wasnt yet a parent myself at that point, I didnt feel I had either the right or the wisdom to write on the subject. Yet I had witnessed my parents hurt when my brother Mark distanced himself from our family and faith; I had seen them work at rebuilding a relationship with Mark; and I knew my parents experience had sensitized them to the feelings of other parents who felt hurt for their children. So I wrote to my mother to suggest we work together on this book.

Convinced from the start that The Hurting Parent could meet a crying need and provide a valuable ministry, we wrote what I considered at the time to be a modest little book. But weve been amazed at the magnitude of the response. Although