Dale Carnegie - Listen!: The Art of Effective Communication: The Art of Effective Communication

LISTEN!

DALE CARNEGIE

& ASSOCIATES

LISTEN!

The Art of Effective Communication

Published by Gildan Media LLC

aka G&D Media

www.GandDmedia.com

LISTEN!. Copyright 2017, 2019 by Dale Carnegie & Associates. All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used, reproduced or transmitted in any manner whatsoever, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. No liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained within. Although every precaution has been taken, the author and publisher assume no liability for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.

FIRST TRADE PAPERBACK EDITION: 2019

Front Cover image: Cindy Joy

Interior design by Meghan Day Healey of Story Horse, LLC

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request

ISBN: 978-1-7225-1002-2 (trade paperback)

eISBN: 978-1-7225-2044-1 (ebook)

Manufactured in the United States of America by LSC Communications

10987654321

The best gift you can give others is to become a better you.
And that starts by becoming a better listener.

JOE HART, PRESIDENT AND CEO

CONTENTS

by Joe Hart

FOREWORD

By Joe Hart, President and CEO of Dale Carnegie Training

Who is your listening role model? Although I have been blessed to know many people whom I consider to be gifted listeners, its not an exaggeration to say that for the better part of my life, I have considered Dale Carnegie to be among my listening role models. Dales ideas and philosophies were ever-present throughout my childhood. My parents even gave me a copy of Dales book How to Win Friends and Influence People.

He is a role model to me for good reason. Dale was a trailblazer. Born into poverty on a farm in Missouri, he rose above those circumstances to become one of the most influential people of his timeand ours. My admiration for him grew as I learned more about him as a man, and as a leader. He had taken his own principles, used them to better his life, and then to change the lives of millions of others. How to Win Friends and Influence People is still one of the best-selling books on the market. His ideas are the foundation of Dale Carnegie Training, a global leader in personal and business development.

It was not until I took a twelve-week Dale Carnegie Training course in 1995 that Dales ideas went from being thought-provoking to actually changing my life. Of course, a principle cant change ones life on its own. Its the application of those principles to our experience of the world that changes lives. I knew that in order to truly transform myself, I had to apply what I had learned in that course.

I did, and people noticed! Friends, loved ones, colleagues all started telling me that I was more confident. More friendly. I was interacting with people in a more positive way. I liked the new me so much that I kept learning and applying Dale Carnegies ideas. I became such a passionate graduate of the program that I left my career to become the president and CEO of Dale Carnegie Training. Talk about changing your life!

When you change yourself, you change your life. When you change your life, you literally change the world. Not just your immediate world of your friends and colleagues. But you change THE world. Personal development can, without a doubt, change the way we interact as humans for generations to follow. I see it happen every day at work. When I travel around the world and meet with our teams, our participants, and our graduates, I see firsthand the impact that personal development is having in the world. And it makes me even more excited about the work we do.

Thats why Listen! is such an important book. The ability to truly listen to another person is perhaps the most relevant skill you can have to change your life. Its not about what we can get by listening to another. Its about having a service mind-set in everything we do. Authentic listening is an opportunity to serve in its highest form.

When I first joined Dale Carnegie Training, my goal was to listen. I wanted to hear what people were saying about our companyboth internally and externally. I used the concepts and principles that youll learn in the pages that follow to truly get at the heart of what it means to be a great listener.

Of course, all personal development is an evolution. While I am a better listener now than I was a few years ago, I will be even better a few years from now. As the saying goes, Change is the only constant. If youre not getting better, youre getting worse. It takes a passionate commitment to keep applying the principles you learn here, but once you do, youll see your life take off in ways you cant even imagine.

As you read this book, I encourage you to think about the ideas presented and then look at where you can apply them in your life. What will becoming a better listener mean for you? How will your life change? How can you change the lives of other people? Who will look to you as their listening role model?

Have fun as you read and engage with the material. The best gift you can give others is to become a better you. And that starts by becoming a better listener.

INTRODUCTION

And so I had him thinking of me
as a good conversationalist when,
in reality, I had been merely a good listener
and had encouraged him to talk.

DALE CARNEGIE

The Dilemma of the Orange

Two teenagers were having an argument. They both wanted an orange, but there was only one left.

I want it!

No, I do!

Their mother heard them arguing and went to see what was going on. How about you split it?

They both asserted, No! I need the whole orange.

They were devising all kinds of fair ways to see who would get the orange. Rock, paper, scissors. Flipping a coin. Drawing straws. But they couldnt agree on how to decide who should get the orange.

After listening to all of this, their mother said, Well, what do you need the orange for?

I need the juice for my smoothie.

I need the rind for my cake.

Suddenly the teenagers looked at each other and started laughing. They each could have the whole orange! One would take the juice, and the other would take the rind. It took their mother asking the right question and their listening to the answer to solve what seemed like an impossible dilemma.

The Art of Listening

How many times has this happened to you? Two people have conflicting needs, and it seems as if the only solution is that one person wont get their needs met. It happens all the time at work, at home, and in family and professional relationships.

What if there were a way to think differently? A way that smoothed conflict, built stronger relationships, and allowed you to step back and see the bigger picture? What if there were a way to make all of your relationships better? There is. Its called