Alice Kuipers - Always Smile: Carley Allisons Secrets for Laughing, Loving and Living

Its not about how long you live, but how you spend the time while you are alive.

Carley

ALICE KUIPERS , author

I never met Carley Allison. In fact, I didnt even know her name until it showed up in my inbox one day, a story in search of a writer. I did not know that she was a skater or a singer. I did not know that she had a magical life, filled with people who loved her and everything a girl could ever wish for. I did not know that shed been diagnosed with a rare cancer, that shed fought it bravely or inspired countless people or that shed died too young. But I have come to know these things about Carley and so much more from spending many months immersed in the life she left behind.

To tell Carleys story, I drew heavily on the blog she wrote over the years of her illness. Ive added the occasional word or sentence to clarify, but these are Carleys own words and own writing style, and her real thoughts on living with her diagnosis and treatment. Carley began her blog as an assignment because her illness meant she was missing so much school. She quickly realized that people found inspiration from her words, and so she kept on writing.

I also drew on the time I spent with Carleys family, who opened their doors to me and shared everything they could of Carleys: her videos, her songs, her photos, her texts, her posts. They introduced me to Carleys wide circle of friends and to John, the boy Carley loved. You will hear all their voices here, edited for length and clarity, telling all the facets of Carleys story and showing the wide range of lives she touched. You will also experience the world through Carleys eyes in scenes I have constructed from stories her family told me.

At the moment of her diagnosis, a vibrant and dynamic but ordinary young woman became extraordinary. Carley took the terrible thing that was happening to her and managed to keep her spirit and joy alive. She showed everyone around her how to live life to its fullest.

Carley lived according to simple rules that come up again and again in her blog or in the memories of the people who loved her. Above all, her secret to a happy life was this: Always smile.

This book begins with Carleys voice, just as it sounds in an interview she recorded with her father when her cancer was in remission. Carley and her dad set this up as if it were a media interview it was a fun way to hang out together, but also an important record of how far Carley had come. After months of uncertainty and fear, theyre relaxed in their living room at home. Carley is elegant in black, and youd never guess what shes just been through. Because she is smiling. Always smiling.

CARLEY

Hey, everyone. My names Carley Allison, and Im going to tell you a little bit about my cancer story.

My everyday life before I was diagnosed was very busy. I was a competitive figure skater, musician and full-time student in school. My schedule was always very go-go-go. Then I got sick. My pathology was a clear cell sarcoma in the trachea. I was the second known case of this in the world a one in 3.5 billion chance. Might as well buy a lottery ticket.

So, for me, one day I woke up and was like, Oh, wow, this is my reality now. I had to be pulled out of school, I wasnt skating and I couldnt sing. Singing was my best outlet, and I couldnt imagine my life without it.

My illness greatly affected my family. Im just so grateful for all the things they did for me.

Im grateful, too, for John.

My illness changed me 100 percent. My eyes have been opened. Before, if I was to see someone going through cancer, Id say the typical things: Keep your head up. Theres always light at the end of the tunnel.

But after going through it, I can say I know its hard. I know it seems like theres never an end. Especially chemo. It feels exhausting. But never, never put doubts in your mind. Never think, Oh, well, Im really, really not feeling well. Always think, Tomorrow Ill be better than I was today.

I still dont look up and think, Oh, I have cancer. Its not something I think about. When someone says it, it catches me off guard. Because I feel okay. In fact, I feel strong. And you never know how strong you are until strong is your only option.

CHAPTER ONE

Always be the best you can be.

Carley

CARLEY

Im just back from a fun day at the lake with Kat, Sydney, Denzelle and Jill. Those girls kill me I never laughed so hard. On the drive back today, I played Taylor Swift and we all sang out the open windows, the wind through our hair, me dancing even while I drove, with shoulder shimmies, the open road before us filled with possibility.

Now Im working on a song in the music room in our house. I scribble:

Oh, I dont want you to go.

I want you to stay here, stay here with me.

Seems like every day were coming closer to the day

when you will pack your bags and say

This music room is one of my favorite places to be. Dad built this house hes a contractor with his own business and Mom did all the interiors. Mom and Dad met when they were in high school. I cant even imagine them young like that, getting married. I love thinking about what Ill wear when I get married one day: a white bikini on a sandy beach, perhaps.