Mika Brzezinski - Obsessed: Americas Food Addiction--and My Own

W riting this book has been both wrenching and rewarding as I faced deep truths about both food and friendship... so first of all I would like to thank Diane for being a real friend and letting me say what I had to say, and taking it and running with it.

Thanks to all our other friends who took part in what we hope will be an ongoing conversation about this very real public health crisis.

Thank you to Harvey Weinstein, David Steinberger, Amanda Murray, and Georgina Levitt, the wonderful people at Weinstein Books who jumped at the concept for this book.

Special thanks to our wider circle of friends who supported us every step of the way, especially Joe Scarborough, my co-host on Morning Joe and wingman on the issue of obesity. Joe takes constant beatings from me on the air, but he truly stands by me in the fight to make our food environment healthy.

I want to thank my boss Phil Griffin for always encouraging me to be transparent and real, despite the consequences. My thanks to Alex Korson, our executive producer on Morning Joe, for helping us get everything done.

To all the extraordinary women and men we interviewed, a heartfelt thanks for sharing your insights with us. Thank you for inspiring us.

Karyn Feiden, thanks for your deft touch and vision. Paula Brisco, thanks for your clearheaded thinking and practical wisdom. To Dan Tully and Emily Cassidy, thanks for focusing on the details. Lauren Skowronski, you are always right with me.

Diane and I want to thank our husbands. Tom Woodruff supported Dianes health challenge and pitched in with research, shedding light on subjects from science to public health policy. Thank you to my husband, Jim Hoffer, who worried about me taking on one more project, but who embraced this one when he saw that it would help make Diane and me healthier and happier people. Jim and Tom encouraged us to tell the truth and try to make a difference.

To my daughters, Emilie and Carlie, when the going got rough and putting these words on paper felt a little too raw and too personal for me, you were my constant inspiration to try to get better.

Here are some tips from Margo Maine about controlling the conversation at home.

I am sitting in my home office, looking at a photo of my two daughters. Carlie, fourteen, is a freshman in high school. Emilie, seventeen, is a junior. Both of them have vibrant, wonderful lives, and they are so busy right now that they probably wont even read this book. But I hope they will read it eventually, and that it will help them understand me better, and know how deeply I love them. I wrote this at least as much for the girls as I did for Diane or me.

Ive tried to be very honest here about how much of my time and energy has been wasted obsessing about food. I could have used those years a whole lot better by focusing instead on making a difference in the world. I would do just about anything to keep Carlie and Emilie away from the pitfalls of food obsession.

If you are a parent, you know that your kids see and understand much more than you give them credit for. I thought my struggle with food meant wrestling with my own private demons, but I found out it was a lot more visible than I realized. Carlie and I were in the doctors office recently for her regular checkup, and we both weighed ourselves. I weigh more than you! she tossed at me, without seeming the least bit upset.

She got off the scale and popped back onto the examining table and added, You have an eating disorder, so thats why you weigh less than me. She said it very matter-of-factly, with that cutting honesty that is something of a Brzezinski family trademark. I was about to retaliate with, Do not be disrespectful to your mother, but I didnt. After writing this book, I couldnt argue with her. Not only was it still true, but I actually loved that she had the nerve and the insight to say it to me.

It dawned on me then that my daughter is healthier than I am. She is completely fine with her weight. Carlie looks good, she exercises, and she has a healthy appetite that includes plenty of good food. She enjoys eating, but shes not obsessed with it. Right now, her much greater passions are singing and horseback riding.

Emilie worries more about her diet, but thats because shes a runner and she wants to win all her races. She is concerned about eating foods that will provide the optimal nutrition for an athlete, not because shes worried about holding her stomach in.

I think thats fantastic. Margo Maine helped me think long and hard about the risk of laying my issues on the girls, and I have backed far away from pressuring them. They seem to be doing just fine, and that might be in spite of me, not because of me. They are going to be beautiful women.

I want my girls to see me at peace with eating, and I might just be making progress in becoming a better role model. These days Im eating more, and I dont feel hungry all the time.

Today I made myself a sandwich with three eggs, Swiss cheese, and arugula on two big pieces of wheat toast, grilled in olive oil. I didnt measure the olive oil and I didnt worry about the fat in the cheese. And I ate all three eggs, including the yolks.

Nora Ephron, it was just what you told me to do. I wish you were still here so I could thank you. I know youd be happy that I am finally becoming less anxious about what I am going to eat next. Nora, you told me to learn to enjoy food as one of lifes great pleasures, and I am trying to do that.

I want my girls to see me at peace with eating, and I might just be making progress in becoming a better role model. These days Im eating more, and I dont feel hungry all the time.Mika

Nutritionists Sue Gebo and Lisa Powell helped me a lot, too. Their comments about my very rigid diet, and their suggestions about how I can make different choices, helped widen my horizons. I am finding ways to make better choices, and Im eating a greater variety of food, knowing that I cant starve myself and I shouldnt binge, either. Im giving up the pain of trying to maintain an unnaturally thin body weight. I am wearing a bigger dress size now, and on my good days, I like it. On the good days, I feel a calm I havent known before.

Anyone with an eating disorder knows how hard it can be to sustain good behavior. Trust me, Im still obsessed with food, and I think I am still addicted in some unhealthy ways. But I cant let down my friends who were generous enough to share their wisdom with Diane and me, and Im trying to follow their advice. Like Susie Essman, I am finding my power in my work, not my body image. Kate White and Christie Hefner helped me adjust my picture of what beautiful and healthy should look like. Gayle King reminded me that its okay to live it up once in a while.

Like Susie Essman, I am finding my power in my work, not my body image. Kate White and Christie Hefner helped me adjust my picture of what beautiful and healthy should look like. Gayle King reminded me that its okay to live it up once in a while.Mika

Im not sure my parents will be comfortable with some of what Ive revealed about my ongoing struggle, but I hope they understand that the issues Ive talked about here were of my own making. Mom and Dad are amazing parents, and did so much to expose me to the many ideas, options, and goals that a rich life can hold, including fantastic food. I always feel the urge to apologize to them for being such a difficult child, but maybe its enough for them to know that Carlie and Emilie are getting back at me in spades. I suppose this is just the cycle of life shared between a parent and a child.