Brzezinski - Grow your value : living and working to your full potential

ALSO BY MIKA BRZEZINSKI

Obsessed: Americas Food Addictionand My Own

Knowing Your Value: Women, Money, and Getting What Youre Worth

All Things at Once

Copyright 2015 by Mika Brzezinski

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of the Publisher. For information address Weinstein Books, 250 West 57th Street, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10107.

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ISBN: 978-1-60286-269-2 (e-book)

Published by Weinstein Books

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First edition

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

To Jim, Emilie, and Carlie

CONTENTS

I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!

M y daughters words were the gutting end to a savage week. I was exhausted. My professional life starts way before the sun comes up, and it often keeps churning late into the night. Every day I fight the same endless battle that many other women do as I try to juggle my duties at work and at home. But sixteen-year-old Carlies words struck me between the eyes. The truth was, I had failed again.

The week began as it always does with a 3:30 a.m. wakeup call. After pulling myself from bed, making the commute into Manhattan, and sitting zombie-like in a makeup chair, I read every newspaper and editorial page to prepare for Morning Joe, the daily morning news program that I cohost with Joe Scarborough. Then I start planning the three-hour show in three minutesthats all the time we generally have because my intellectually gifted and maddeningly frustrating cohost wanders into 30 Rock about exactly three minutes before we go on air. After that, Joe Scarborough and I walk to the studio, without notes, teleprompters, or safety nets. Having my job is a great honor, and I recognize thatbut its pace is exhausting.

When our stage manager, Jen, gestures for the final wrap, Morning Joe may be over, but a long day off-camera is about to begin. On this particular Monday I was rushed off the set and into another studio to interview fashion icon and former Vogue editor-at-large Andre Leon Talley. Because Andre is a joyous show in himself, the interview went so far over that my producer, Rachel Campbell, had to race in to pull me off the set for my next event, which was in Philadelphia. The speech I would be giving, two hours south of Manhattan, was for our bosses at Comcast, so everyone in the office wanted me to be on time for it. A late grand entrance from my cohost Joe would be the subject of playful ribbing and laughs. But I have to play by the good girl rules: show up promptly, look put together, make it all seem easy.

Perhaps a normal person would have a moment for a bathroom break and to put on comfortable shoes to travel. My heels were beginning to feel like stilts, and I was desperate to pee as I ran into the auditorium with 450 elegant women waiting to hear my speech. I felt faint because I hadnt eaten all day. But all that would have to wait. The stage manager grabbed me by the arm and whispered, Youre up now. Heres the mic. Good luck! I reached into my bulging purse, pulled out a few stray pieces of paper, and began reading off the notes I had scratched out. My assignment was to explain how women can earn their full value at work.

In my book Knowing Your Value: Women, Money, and Getting What Youre Worth and in my Know Your Value conferences, I share stories of my own vulnerability. Whether Im doing the show with Joe, giving a speech, moderating a panel at an event, or hosting a conference to empower women professionally, my approach is to address what hasnt worked for me and how I fixed it. Opening up in this way is a great start to getting to the next level. If nothing else, Im honest, and its my experience that people appreciate honesty.

Lets face it: our livesas working women, as mothers, as wivesare not easy. At all. And when I am open about that and share what frankly doesnt work, at least for me, it seems to help women to see how to take that first step in knowing their own value. That is, they stop beating up on themselves for what they believe they havent pulled off perfectly and begin to recognize how much work and life experience they bring to the table every day. Thats what I mean by knowing your value. Its understanding at a professional and financial level that youyour career, perspective, hard-earned lessons, and proven techniquesare greater than the sum of your parts as a working woman. You know what youre worth in the marketplace because youve earned your stripes, you know whereand howyou stand out in your field, and you know how much you should be compensated for it.

Because Ive learned to appreciate my own value after many years, I dont mind telling you that the speech was a total success that day. The audience of professional women had more questions than time would allow, and I was huggeda lotas I raced out the door. But there was no time to enjoy the moment.

I rocketed back homewell, lets say crawledin what turned out to be five hours of traffic, just in time to have missed dinner with my younger daughter, Carlie, and my husband, Jim. They are used to me being lateif I get home in time to eat with them at all. And now I had to flop into unconsciousness: the 3:30 a.m. alarm comes quickly. I took medication because I needed to sleep right away. This is often the most depressing part of my day: getting in bed alone and praying that I can get some shut-eye. Because everyone else in my life is humming along on a different clock, my schedule exacts a hefty price on my emotional well-being. A day that is so full can feel very empty and out of sync at the end. In addition to that, at some point this medication is going to catch up with me. I have to pick my poison: no sleep and the pain of exhaustion, or sleep and grow increasingly dependent on the medication. This is not really a glamorous life. This is a life of sometimes bad but always hard choices.

So that was Monday.

Tuesday was the same routine. I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and rushed to do three hours of live TV. After I stepped off the Morning Joe set, I ran three back-to-back sponsor meetings about Know Your Value conferences and the movement Im building to help women know and grow their value. These are the toughest kind of meetingsthose that involve getting corporations behind my message. After that, I dashed like a greyhound across town to pick up the script for a speech I was giving that night at a gala event downtown. Then I quickly got my hair done and figured out an outfit. The Wall Street fete was something I should have never agreed to. I felt exhausted and guilty on stage at Cipriani speaking to four hundred tipsy advertisers, knowing I should have been home. The event seemed like a great branding opportunity when