David Rees - How to Sharpen Pencils: A Practical & Theoretical Treatise on the Artisanal Craft of Pencil Sharpening for Writers, Artists, Contractors, Flange Turners, Anglesmiths, & Civil Servants

Dear David,

Your artisanal pencil you sent me for free stabbed me in the neck. I am not happy with it. It is too sharp, too perfectly hand-shaped for violence, too much care and time was put into it to craft the prettiest, most arrogant pencil Ive ever met.

I felt it sneering at me, laughing at my uneducated, unsophisticated idiocy and I had to stab myself in the I mean, and then it stabbed me in the neck.

Unsatisfied customer,

SPIKE JONZE (filmmaker)

The hand-sharpened pencils sent to me by artisanal pencil sharpener David Rees are without a doubt the most efficient writing instruments in my collection. I use them both for business and for pleasure, as their sleek and elegant design coupled with their amazing sharpness help make me an object of envy at work and about town.

MATT TAIBBI, investigative journalist

Of all the artisanal crafts, hat blocking, cobbling, and trolloping, I think I was most disheartened to see pencil sharpening relegated to the dusty bin of history. That is why I am so thrilled David Rees is picking up the reins of the forgotten art of manual point-crafting. I love my pencil!

AMY SEDARIS, crafts expert

Looking back, I cannot believe that I spent so many years of my life mechanically sharpening my own pencils with pencil sharpeners. Truly, my life before I was presented with correctly sharpened pencils by an artisan was a dull and ill-sharpened void. Learn from my mistakes.

NEIL GAIMAN, writer

A good friend was thoughtful enough to send me the gift of a David Rees artisanally sharpened pencil. I was blown away when I saw it. My wife and I proudly display it in our home. I have always been a pen man, but if youve got to have a pencil in the house, this is the pencil to have.

PAUL F. TOMPKINS, actor/comedian

BEST SHARPENED PENCIL IN MY LIFE EVER!

MIKE WATT, musician

Thank you for the artisanally sharpened pencils David Rees. They look very phenomenal. They were so sharp. I was so flabbergasted when I saw them. They were amazing. I was so astonished.

BESS, 3rd grader

The university gallery where Ive worked as director for over 20 years oversees an ambitious program of rotating art exhibitions and a permanent collection of over 7,000 art objects and artifacts. When I saw David Reess artisanally sharpened pencils, I knew immediately to buy one for my personal collection.

CATHERINE TEDFORD, university art gallery director

My son knows how much I appreciate two things: fine art, and any form of writing that can be erased later if circumstances warrant. This led him to generously give me an Artisanal Pencil for Christmas. His gift, however, has burdened me with fears of miscalculation: Should I use it ceaselessly and without shame, grinding its point of perfection to dust? Or should I frame and mount my pencil as the fine work of art that it is?

DOUGLAS K. GERMAN, actuary

As a craftsman and teacher I strive to show my students fine work; I believe it inspires them. Though I dare not use Mr. Reess superbly sharpened #2 pencil, I proudly use it as a talking point for showcasing fine work and supporting the exemplary craftsmen who endeavor to do it. Every time I see the careful attention paid to such a simple tool, Im reminded to spend the extra effort to do my best work.

TREVOR WALSH, model-making and
prototyping professor/hobby wood craftsman

David Rees carved away the wood that hides the graphite the way I need to carve away the fat that hides my ability to wear a bathing suit. Thank you for showing me the path, Rees.

PATTON OSWALT, actor/comedian

My artisanally sharpened pencil is prominently displayed in my office. Students often ask why its there. The conversation often takes off in unexpected, interdisciplinary, and profitable new directions. Sociological: What place should handicraft occupy in the post-industrial age? Rabbinic: What is the meaning of work, and may one sharpen on the Sabbath? Aesthetic: How should we account for the surprising beauty of a properly sharpened $2 yellow pencil? Epistemological: Can the non-expert independently verify the sharpness rating (8/10, in my case) assigned by the artisan? Metaphysical: Is the pencil a tool if it remains on display; is it, say, what Heidegger might have called zuhanden (ready-to-hand)? In short, the pencil has provided many teachable moments. I highly recommend David Reess service to other educators.

RON MOURAD, professor of religious studies

Your pencils are awesome! If I were a pencil I would pay a lot for you to sharpen me. They were very helpful for the (state standardized) test. Thank you! Your pencils are sharp!

ALLEGRA, 4th grader

My home burned down and most of my belongings were destroyed. As we sifted through the rubble, to my delight, I found my artisanally sharpened pencil, still in its case, completely unscathed. Many professionals arrived quickly, ready to help, but none appeared to bring a writing utensil. When asked if I had a writing utensil, I would secretly rub the artisanally sharpened pencil hiding in my pocket. Thank you David.

LESLEY A. HAUSE, advertising manager

I gave an artisanally sharpened pencil to my wife as a wedding present. The gesture touched her very deeply. Thank you, David Rees, for demonstrating the loving care and attention to detail that lends a touchstone to the abundance of hope and meaning in our simple lives.

JEFFREY CREALOCK-MARSH, farm representative

Could I sharpen my own pencils? Sure, I could! I could also perform my own dentistry, cobble my own shoes and smith my own tinbut why not leave such matters to real artisans, instead? I trust my bespoke pencils only to David Rees.

ELIZABETH GILBERT, writer

In contracting, they say a good carpenter is only as good as his tools and, paradoxically, that a good carpenter never blames his tools. The elemental tool in any toolbox is the pencil; its the one most often stolen on a job site. All projects begin with a pencil line. The accuracy of that line will incrementally lead to either the success or failure of a given project. I would never dream of bringing my artisanally sharpened pencil to a construction sitebut it is a daily reminder that my tools are an extension of my professional self; they must be sharpened and maintained, as every mark reverberates into the future.

GEORGE MANSFIELD, contractor

As a Canadian journalist, I can confirm that your pencil is useful in the real world of the Great White North. During a Manitoba winter, its impossible to take notes in pen, because the ink will freeze. Only a pencil gets the job done. When I tackle an out-of-doors interview, I know that the notes I take will be both accurate and complete. It is a journalistic axiom that the pen is mightier than the sword. Thank you, David Rees, for putting the pencil above them both.

GRANT A. HAMILTON, journalist

You may think that sharpening a pencil is easy, but David Rees makes it look hard, and that makes all the difference.

JOHN HODGMAN, writer

As a luthier building instruments for some of the finest classical guitarists in the world, my profession involves absolute precision to the 10th of a millimeter. This pencil, expertly sharpened by Rees, not only provides the accuracy required for my exacting tolerances, it is a companion in my artistic process. I find each use of the pencil to be an inspirational pleasure.

STEPHAN CONNOR, luthier

Its the sharpest pencil Ive ever seen! Its perfect!

GAIL VASQUEZ, the authors postal clerk

The artisanally sharpened pencils were absolutely flabbergasting! Question: What is your favorite tropical fruit?