Contents
Praise for The Wisdom Were Born With
Reading this book is like having a great conversation with a deeply wise, kind, and supportive friendwho also happens to be an extraordinary therapist whose own losses have been profound teachers. With humor and grace, Dr. Gottlieb helps readers come home to their own natural inner wisdom, strength, and peace.
Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence
Imagine one of your dearest friends sitting before you, sharing stories about the people hes loved, the people hes worked with, and himself, all at critical moments in their lives. With poignancy, vulnerability, and honesty, he moves you from laughter to tears to questions to insights. And you are so entertained, and so prompted to re-examine your own life, you just keep saying, Tell me one more. Dan Gottlieb is that friend, and in this tenderhearted book of transformative tales, he will tell you those stories.
Rachel Simon, author of Riding the Bus with My Sister
Dan Gottlieb is not only openhearted, courageous, wise, and compassionate, he is also funny and irreverent. The Wisdom Were Born With is a book that teaches us how to live. There are no platitudes here, no easy answers. But the way Dan shares his life, including his vulnerability, gives readers the strength to face their own deepest pain and the inspiration to delight in every possible joy.
Ellen Bass, poet and co-author of The Courage to Heal
Magically, Dr. Dan Gottlieb turns personal narrative into a reflective mirror that helps us discover and celebrate our inner selves. No wonder he is Americas healer. Beautifully written with deep insights from children, patients, and friends, The Wisdom Were Born With is a model of how to live more fully in our fast-paced 21st century world.
Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, PhD, Stanley and Debra Lefkowitz Faculty Fellow, Temple University, and author of Einstein Never Used Flash Cards and A Mandate for Playful Learning in Preschool
Reading this book is like having a loving, understanding, and good-humored friend remind you of what is most important in life. Drawing from his own journey and his clinical work with others, Dr. Dan Gottliebs beautifully written stories of vulnerability and awakening illuminate the pathway home to our own wise hearts.
Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge
STERLING ETHOS
New York
An Imprint of Sterling Publishing
387 Park Avenue South
New York, NY 10016
STERLING ETHOS and the distinctive Sterling logo are registered trademarks of Sterling Publishing Co., Inc.
2014 by Daniel Gottlieb
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (including electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without prior written permission from the publisher.
ISBN 978-1-4549-0640-7
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Gottlieb, Daniel, 1946
The wisdom were born with : restoring our faith in ourselves / by Daniel Gottlieb.
pages cm
ISBN 978-1-4549-0639-1 (hardback)
1. Conduct of life. 2. Happiness. 3. Perspective (Philosophy) 4. Self-realization. I. Title.
BJ1521.G63553 2014
158.1dc23
2013030254
For information about custom editions, special sales, and premium and corporate purchases, please contact Sterling Special Sales at 800-805-5489 or
specialsales@sterlingpublishing.com.
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Contents
PART 1
Growing Up
PART 2
Our Stories and Our Selves
PART 3
What Breaks Us
PART 4
What Connects Us
PART 5
Faith
PART 6
The Divine Spark
FOREWORD
You have in your hands the wisdom of a life well-lived from a man of extraordinary courage and creativity, humility and humanity. Dan Gottliebs gift to us all is to put into words the deepest essence of how to bring meaning to our lives, to illuminate not only what really matters, but how to find gratitude and generosity in the common challenges of everyday living.
For those new to Dans life story, let me simply share with you that his first third of a century was filled with reflection and appreciation, a keen sense of what it means to be a human being in a complicated world. He felt the common sting of not quite fitting in that many of us experience, and then found a passion that drove him forwardin Dans case, the way of a healer as a psychotherapist.
But in the second third of a century of his life, we find our narrator at a very different moment in his journey. Following a nearly fatal car accident, Dans broken neck left him paralyzed, with no movement below his chest yet a full range of experiences open to his keen and curious mind. After many tragedies and triumphs, Dans life experiences have given his magnificent mind both a challenge and an opportunity to sense the extraordinary within the ordinary of our common routines that most of us in our busy lives often simply take for granted.
These life experiences have offered up to our wise author an endless set of challenges that have inspired unique reflections that most of us will never experience and learn from. But with Dans writings, we are given the gift of his journey, the wisdom of his life.
Treasuring this amazing privilege of being alive becomes the teaching that Dan shares with us through stories of his own and others struggles in their day-to-day lives. Simple narratives about people are surprisingly complex in the depth and power they bring, opening us to new insights and life-affirming reminders of how to live a life more freely and more fully. These stories help us liberate ourselves from our habitual thinking and give us perspective on what really matters in the face of unexpected traumas. This is the banquet of inspiring life lessons The Wisdom Were Born With serves up for us.
Being open to those tender places of vulnerability inside, which many of us either hide or have forgotten, is revealed as the essential step in finding a life of meaning and compassion. This way of being kindof what can be considered a way of honoring and supporting one anothers vulnerabilityis the only way we can truly know and love one another.
Recent scientific research, some of which Dan explores beautifully in the book, highlights the neuroscience behind how living a life of compassion and meaning, connection and equanimity, creates positive changes even in the ways our genes are expressed to fight off disease and keep our nervous systems well honed. And so the wisdom we learn from Dan not only helps our minds feel better, it helps our relationships and our bodies live better.
For me, Dan Gottlieb has become an openhearted guide who reminds us all of the wisdom of being fully present for life. I actually read the book twice; I loved so much the feelings and the learning it has created inside of me. And now I am honored to let you know about what is in store for you as you open yourself up to Dans wisdom, which I do not think will be the final words we hear from this marvelous human being and life-changing teacher. Enjoy!