Stephen James - Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys

David and Stephen have once again demonstrated the beauty and power of fraternal collaboration in their newest book, Wild Things. If I didnt know otherwise, I would assume these two guys were granddads, not young dads, when I consider the depth of wisdom and breadth of practical applications captured between the covers of this volume. How I wish Id had this book when my son was younger, yet the same principles of loving well are applicable from generation to generation. If you want hope and not hype, buy this book. It is a joy to unequivocally endorse it, and I look forward to putting it in the hands of many dads, and moms as well.

SCOTTY SMITH, founding pastor, Christ Community Church,
Franklin, Tennessee

As a pediatrician, I see parents every day wrestling with how to understand and guide their sons. If youre looking for practical parenting skills, these pages are filled with sound advice. The authors break down each stage of a boys journey, and the book is filled with effective, simple tips that you can implement now. This is one of the best parenting resources Ive seen.

DR. LINDA BRADY, pediatrician, Nashville

I loved this book! As a single mom for the past seven years, I couldnt wait to dive into Stephen and Davids timely work. This mom of two wild things and two softer things needed their road map and driving instructions for the dangerous journey we are traveling. Bless you both for the wisdom you have given to me. May all our boys be nurtured and loved until they are the honorable men God intended for them to become.

ANGELA THOMAS, speaker and best-selling author of My Single Mom Life

These two men are deep with an honesty that touches the heart without being sentimental. I am many years older, but not wiser; they simply offer truth that transforms my passions so that I walk away wanting to know God and amazed that he knows me.

DAN B. ALLENDER, PH.D., professor of counseling at Mars Hill
Graduate School and the author of
How Children Raise Parents

God has entrusted a unique and powerful gift to David Thomas to understand the complex language of a boys heart and to help interpret it for those of us who love and lead boys. This is an important book about a very important subject.

STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN AND MARY BETH CHAPMAN

David Thomas is a godsend! I cannot express how valuable he has been to the life of my son. His compassion and love for children is overwhelming. I know that this book will impact parents and children like no other. This is a must-read for every parent.

SARA EVANS, recording artist

WILD
THINGS

the art of nurtruring boys

STEPHEN JAMES and DAVID THOMAS

Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois

Visit Tyndales exciting Web site at www.tyndale.com

TYNDALE and Tyndales quill logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys

Copyright 2009 by Stephen James and David Thomas. All rights reserved.

Cover photo by Dan Farrell, copyright 2009 by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.

Authors photo copyright by Amanda Paredes/Paredes Photography. All rights reserved.

Designed by Jessie McGrath

Edited by Dave Lindstedt

Published in association with the literary agency of Greg Daniel Literary Group, LLC, Nashville, TN.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

James, Stephen.
Wild things : the art of nurturing boys / Stephen James and David Thomas.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
eBook ISBN 978-1-4143-3282-6
1. ParentingReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Parent and childReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. BoysReligious life. I. Thomas, David. II. Title.

BV4529.J3545 2009
248.8'45dc22 2008037976

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15 14 13 12 11 10 09
7 6 5 4 3 2 1

To all the boys and men who have allowed us to
travel with them on their dangerous journeys.

ALSO BY STEPHEN JAMES AND DAVID THOMAS

How to Hit a Curveball, Grill the Perfect Steak, and Become a Real Man: Learning What Our Fathers Never Taught Us

Yup. Nope. Maybe.: A Womans Guide to Getting More out of the Language of Men

Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?: A Mans Guide to the Loaded Questions Women Ask

Becoming a Dad: A Spiritual, Emotional, and Practical Guide

TABLE OF CONTENTS

The night Max wore his wolf suit...
his mother called him WILD THING!

MAURICE SENDAK,Where the Wild Things Are

A friend of ours tells the story of the family dog he had growing up. His name was Midnight (the dog, not our friend), and he was a mutt of indeterminate ancestry from the local animal shelter. From what they could tell, he was part black Lab, part English sheepdog, and part collie. As you might imagine, Midnight was big, black, and shaggy.

As our friend tells it, he and his brother had been assigned the task of repainting the white picket fence that ran around their rather large front yard. It was the first week of summer break, and this chore seemed like unusually cruel punishment by the standards of an eleven-year-old boy and his thirteen-year-old brother, given that they hadnt done anything wrong.

Their parents had left for work that day with the expectation that the fence would be painted by supper. By late morning, the sun was beating down, and the boys were bored silly with only half the job done. Their frustration had turned into griping about the task at hand and discussing how they would spend the rest of the summer once the work was completed. Midnight, minding his own business, was curled up in the only shade he could find, under the porch.

Shortly before noon, our friend had what he thought was an entertaining idea. You know what would be funny... , he said.

Armed with their paintbrushes and a can of white paint, the brothers ambushed Midnight. Before the dog knew what had happened, he looked like Pep Le Pews big brother. A giant skunk dog, our friend recalls. As the two brothers were admiring their handiwork, their father came home on his lunch hour to check on their progress. What he found was a half-painted fence, a frightened black (and now white-striped) dog running around the yard, and his sons rolling on the lawn in laughter. There were, as our friend puts it, great reparations to be paid.

The award-winning childrens book Where the Wild Things Are, by Maurice Sendak, tells a similar story of a mischievous and imaginative young boy named Max, who one evening storms through his home in a wolf costume, making mischief. In short order, he builds a tent with a blanket, lynches his teddy bear, chases the dog with a fork, and threatens to eat his mother. As punishment, Max is sent to bed without supper. But thats only the beginning of the story. Off in his room, Max creates a world in which he explores distant lands, encounters strange monsters, and becomes a king. Eventually, he returns home to where he is loved and a warm dinner awaits him.