It Happened to Me
Series Editor: Arlene Hirschfelder
Books in the It Happened to Me series are designed for inquisitive teens digging for answers about certain illnesses, social issues, or lifestyle interests. Whether you are deep into your teen years or just entering them, these books are gold mines of up-to-date information, riveting teen views, and great visuals to help you figure out stuff. Besides special boxes highlighting singular facts, each book is enhanced with the latest reading lists, websites, and an index. Perfect for browsing, there are loads of expert information by acclaimed writers to help parents, guardians, and librarians understand teen illness, tough situations, and lifestyle choices.
- Epilepsy: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Kathlyn Gay and Sean McGarrahan, 2002.
- Stress Relief: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Mark Powell, 2002.
- Learning Disabilities: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Penny Hutchins Paquette and Cheryl Gerson Tuttle, 2003.
- Making Sexual Decisions: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by L. Kris Gowen, 2003.
- Asthma: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Penny Hutchins Paquette, 2003.
- Cultural DiversityConflicts and Challenges: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Kathlyn Gay, 2003.
- Diabetes: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Katherine J. Moran, 2004.
- When Will I Stop Hurting? Teens, Loss, and Grief: The Ultimate Teen Guide to Dealing with Grief, by Ed Myers, 2004.
- Volunteering: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Kathlyn Gay, 2004.
- Organ TransplantsA Survival Guide for the Entire Family: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Tina P. Schwartz, 2005.
- Medications: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Cheryl Gerson Tuttle, 2005.
- Image and IdentityBecoming the Person You Are: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by L. Kris Gowen and Molly C. McKenna, 2005.
- Apprenticeship: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Penny Hutchins Paquette, 2005.
- Cystic Fibrosis: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Melanie Ann Apel, 2006.
- Religion and Spirituality in America: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Kathlyn Gay, 2006.
- Gender Identity: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Cynthia L. Winfield, 2007.
- Physical Disabilities: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Denise Thornton, 2007.
- MoneyGetting It, Using It, and Avoiding the Traps: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Robin F. Brancato, 2007.
- Self-Advocacy: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Cheryl Gerson Tuttle and JoAnn Augeri Silva, 2007.
- Adopted: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Suzanne Buckingham Slade, 2007.
- The Military and Teens: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Kathlyn Gay, 2008.
- Animals and Teens: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Gail Green, 2009.
- Reaching Your Goals: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Anne Courtright, 2009.
- Juvenile Arthritis: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Kelly Rouba, 2009.
- Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Natalie Rompella, 2009.
- Body Image and Appearance: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Kathlyn Gay, 2009.
- Writing and Publishing: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Tina P. Schwartz, 2010.
- Food Choices: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Robin F. Brancato, 2010.
- Immigration: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Tatyana Kleyn, 2011.
- Living with Cancer : The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Denise Thornton, 2011.
- Living Green: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Kathlyn Gay, 2012.
- Social Networking: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Jenna Obee, 2012.
- Sports: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Gail Fay, 2013.
- Adopted: The Ultimate Teen Guide, Revised Edition, by Suzanne Buckingham Slade, 2013.
- Bigotry and Intolerance: The Ultimate Teen Guide, by Kathlyn Gay, 2013.
- Substance Abuse: The Ultimate Teen Guide , by Sheri Bestor, 2013.
- LGBTQ Families: The Ultimate Teen Guide , by Eva Apelqvist, 2013.
LGBTQ Families
The Ultimate Teen Guide
Eva Apelqvist
It Happened to Me, No. 37
THE SCARECROW PRESS, INC.
Lanham Toronto Plymouth, UK
2013
Published by Scarecrow Press, Inc.
A wholly owned subsidiary of The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
4501 Forbes Boulevard, Suite 200, Lanham, Maryland 20706
www.rowman.com
10 Thornbury Road, Plymouth PL6 7PP, United Kingdom
Copyright 2013 by Scarecrow Press
All rights reserved . No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote passages in a review.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Apelqvist, Eva.
LGBTQ families : the ultimate teen guide / Eva Apelqvist.
pages cm. (It happened to me ; 37)
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-8108-8536-3 (cloth : alk. paper) ISBN 978-0-8108-8537-0 (ebook) 1. GaysFamily relationshipsJuvenile literature. 2. Sexual minoritiesFamily relationshipsJuvenile literature. 3. Children of gay parentsJuvenile literature. 4. FamiliesJuvenile literature. I. Title.
HQ76.25.A64 2013
306.874086'64dc23 2013015488
The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992. Printed in the United States of America.
Contents
Introduction
As a young professional in Santa Barbara, California, I worked in an office where gay jokes were the norm. Not wanting to be a wet blanket, I usually ignored them. But one day when I was feeling crabby and exhausted, my boss told a particularly tasteless gay joke in a big meeting and I snapped. I told her that my best friend was a lesbian and that I found these jokes insulting (killing any dreams of a promotion for the next one hundred years or so). After an awkward silence and a bit of hemming and hawing, the meeting went on. Later, during a break, I found myself in a bathroom stall next to a coworker. Timidly she whispered from the stall next to mine, Thank you. Im gay.
This event became an important reminder to me that we should not wait to speak up until we can no longer stand it, but do it when we first meet with injustice and offensive behavior. When I was presented with the opportunity to write this book, it became a chance for me to reevaluate my role as a straight ally and better learn where I fit into the LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender/transsexual, and queer) rights movement. I will allow the book to answer this question.
Even though injustice is a red thread throughout the pages, as it must be at this time in history, this book is not primarily about injusticeit is about what its like to have LGBTQ parents. And here I encountered my first conundrumthe difficulty of keeping issues relevant to children with LGBTQ parents separate from those of the parents themselves and other LGBTQ persons. The more research I did for this book, the more I realized what should have been obvious from the very startthat children with LGBTQ parents are affected by all issues LGBTQ. Any injustice and prejudice shown toward the parents affect the children. All laws that exclude LGBTQ persons from rights other people have also affect their children and partners. Therefore, I have allowed the book to stray where it must. When I explore bullying in schools, for example, I look not only at the children of LGBTQ persons being harassed, but also at young LGBTQ persons themselves and what the schools are doing or not doing to protect these children and young adults.