Dorothy Kavanaugh - Feeling Unloved?

Whether you're too afraid to approach your crush or you've been recently dumped by your boyfriend, what do you do when you feel unloved? Feeling Unloved? Girls Dealing With Feelings discusses the ups and downs of romance and provides research-based information on the best ways to deal with crushes, dating, relationships, and breakups. Take a quiz to figure out if what you have is the real thing or if it's not right for you.

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,

My love as deep; the more I give to thee,

The more I have, for both are infinite.

William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

What is love? That question has been discussed over many centuries. In his play Romeo and Juliet, seventeenth-century English writer William Shakespeare attempts to describe loves emotional depth. In the lines above, Juliet explains the intensity of her feelings for Romeo. Stories of love and longing have been told throughout history by playwrights, as well as by songwriters, authors, and filmmakers. Tales of love and loss touch a nerve in everyone because love is something all people identify with.

Love can be many things. It can refer to the bond you feel with your parents. It can be the connection you have with your best friend. And with romantic love, it can be the feelings you have for someone special in your lifeone that involves both emotional feelings and the pull of physical attraction. Although these are different kinds of love, all involve many of the same elements. They include trust, loyalty, support, and encouragement. However, one of the most important ingredients in love is the intense feeling of caring for another person.

Having close relationships is important. They give you the chance to understand what is important to you. And they give you experience in sharing and trusting others. Learning about love means learning about yourself.

Understanding yourself and your feelings is a big part of growing up. And right now in your life, there is plenty to try to figure out. Its likely youre dealing with physical changes occurring in your body due to puberty. This is the stage of life when your body is developing from that of a child to an adult.

Growing up. As you go through puberty, you may feel uncomfortable with your body as certain parts are growing and changing shape. These physical changes are the result of sometimes drastic changes in your bodys hormone levels. Hormones are special chemical substances that carry messages regulating the activity of cells. In girls, the most important hormones are estrogen and progesterone.

As the amounts of hormones in your body change, you can feel emotional upheavals and experience extreme mood swings. As a result, the way you relate to others can be bumpy at times. Feelings of longing and romantic attraction to others become stronger during puberty, too. These feelings can be physical, affecting sexual behavior and desire, and emotional, involving a longing for closeness and for a feeling of being connected to someone else.

People grow physically and emotionally at different rates. One girl may begin the changes of puberty at age eight, while another might be thirteen years old. And boys typically begin puberty even later. As a result, you may find you have suddenly grown several inches and now tower over many of the boys you know. Some of them may be interested in having a romantic relationship, while others wont be interested at all.

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.

Zora Neale Hurston

Falling in love. Right now, you may be thinking about what love means to you and what you would want in a romantic relationship. Or maybe you are interested in someone else but havent shared your feelings with that person. Or perhaps you are in a serious relationship. All of these situations are giving you the opportunity to grow emotionally and develop the knowledge and skills to maintain healthy relationships.

An emotional rollercoaster ride. In the course of learning about the very complicated world of romantic love, you will most likely experience a wide range of feelings. You may feel the longing for a special connection, the joys of first love, the anger of conflict, and the sorrow of breaking up. At times it may feel like your emotions are one big rollercoaster ride. If you are feeling overwhelmed by your changing moods, you may find it helpful to share your feelings with trusted friends. After all, they are probably going through the same thing, too. You may also find that your parents have some helpful insights.

As you share time with another person, you can have the opportunity to gain an understanding of yourself and your values. Remember, the ways you choose to deal with others in relationshipsfor example, how you treat them and expect them to treat youwill establish the person you will be as an adult.

A part of everyones personality, emotions are a powerful driving force in life. They are hard to define and understand. But what is known is that emotionswhich include anger, fear, love, joy, jealousy, and hateare a normal part of the human system. They are responses to situations and events that trigger bodily changes, motivating you to take some kind of action.

Some studies show that the brain relies more on emotions than on intellect in learning and in making decisions. Being able to identify and understand the emotions in yourself and in others can help you in your relationships with family, friends, and others throughout your life.

Puberty refers to the time when a young persons body is developing and changing as she becomes an adult. In girls, puberty usually starts between ages eight and thirteen.

In his studies of what happens when people fall in love, psychologist Arthur Arun found that attraction between two people increases with the simple act of staring into each others eyes. Researchers set up situations in which complete strangers were asked to reveal personal details about themselves to each other for an hour and a half. Then they were told to stare into each others eyes for four minutes. Afterward, these complete strangers admitted to having strong feelings of attraction for one another. Two actually eventually married.

Cupid, the Roman god of love: Represented as a winged boy carrying a bow and arrow, Cupid makes people fall in love by shooting an arrow through the heart.

Heart: A heart symbol is often used to replace the word love.

Rose: Red roses symbolize love and passion.

When a person has strong feelings toward someone else, studies show, the brain releases increased amounts of certain brain chemicals, or neurotransmitters. One of these neurotransmitters is dopamine, which causes a person to feel good.