Berman - Choosing a Good Life: Lessons from People Who Have Found Their Place in the World

choosing a good life

Hazelden

Center City, Minnesota 55012

hazelden.org

2014 by Ali Berman

All rights reserved. Published 2014.

No part of this publication, either print or electronic, may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the express written permission of the publisher. Failure to comply with these terms may expose you to legal action and damages for copyright infringement.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Berman, Ali.

Choosing a good life : lessons from people who have found their place in the world / Ali Berman.

pages cm

ISBN 978-1-61649-535-0 (e-book) 1. Self-actualization (Psychology) 2. Self-realization 3. Choice (Psychology) I. Title.

BF637.S4B473 2014

170.44dc23

2014024737

Editors note

This publication is not intended as a substitute for the advice of health care professionals.

18 17 16 15 14 1 2 3 4 5 6

Cover design: Percolator

Interior design and typesetting: Percolator

Author photo: Gary Ploski

For Gary Ploski, Magneto, and Cthulhu

contents

FIRST AND FOREMOST, thank you to Sungrai, Cathy, Emery, Zoe, Eric, Leanne, Michal, Daphne, Alex, and Lisa. I couldnt have written this book without you all. Your honesty, integrity, and how youve chosen to live your lives inspires me each day. You trusted me with your stories. I hope I was able to do them justice.

Thank you to Gary Ploski, my husband and my partner in life. You came with me to the interviews, supported me, had faith in me, and read the very first draft. You took care of so much within our own lives to give me the time I needed to write. I can never thank you enough for that. You, more than anyone else in this world, help me stay balanced by embodying so many of the traits I looked for in researching this book. Integrity, kindness, patience, gratitudeyou have them all. I am so very lucky.

Thank you to Sid Farrar. Without you and your original concept, this book would not exist. You trusted a first-time author to go on this journey and helped mold it along the way.

Thank you to all the folks at Hazelden who worked so hard to make this book the best it could be, and to bring it into the world.

Thank you to Laura Strachan, my agent, for thinking of me when Sid came to you, and for having faith in me for all these years.

Thank you to David and Glenda Berman, my fantastic parents who taught me so much about being kind. I would not be who I am without your guidance and love. You are not just great parents; you are incredible people.

Thank you to Magneto and Cthulhu. You cant read this. No feline could. But you slept by my legs, rested on my arms, and purred on my stomach as I crafted this book. You kept me company and provided me daily doses of joy and contentment by being so loving and warm.

Thank you to all the friends and family who helped me find the remarkable people in this book.

Thank you to Renee Wicklund for being a fantastic friend. You read everything from the proposal to the full draft and helped to strengthen the book.

Thank you to Alexandra Branscombe for assisting me with scientific research for this book.

THREE YEARS AGO Im sure an outside observer would have said that I was living a pretty great life. I had a healthy marriage, I loved my job, and my husband, Gary, and I had just purchased our very first house. A relationship, employment, and home ownershipall considered the modern-day building blocks of the American dream. And yet, we werent happy. It was just the opposite; we were downright miserable.