DiBenedetti - I hate everyone

Have you reached that point in your life where everybody around you annoys you? Where anything anyone says aggravates you? Where each and every thingbig or smallanybody does irritates you? Me too. The good thing is, were not alone. For all of those people in the world, there are plenty of us people. The kind of people who are sick and tired of being aggravated and irritated and just cant stand it a moment longer. Its not that were angry or intolerant; its that were annoyed these people are allowed to be so, well, annoying. Thankfully, for all of us people, theres this book.

Its a way to tell those people: I hate everyone! I hate people who start long stories with,
Long story short. I hate bubbly morning people. I hate people who say, Good morning,
but their tone suggests otherwise. I hate people who smile at me when
Im driving. I hate everyone who has those stick-figure-family stickers stuck on the back window of their car. I hate people who name their car.

I hate people who dont name their private parts. I hate people who call their private parts by their clinical name. I hate people who have pet names for their significant other. I hate people who have figured out their
special talent. I hate people who enjoy their job. I hate born athletes.

I hate people who get to play for a living. I hate young doctors. I hate young pilots. I hate people who live over 100. I hate fortunate people who look younger than they actually are. I hate dull people who act older than they actually are.

I hate immature people who cant act their age. I hate everyone who uses an avatar thats better looking than they really are. I hate studio execs who think all movies
are better in 3-D. I hate actors and actresses who look better
in 2-D. I hate writers who make their characters one-dimensional. I hate people who dont wipe the ketchup spout clean before closing the cap.

I hate macho men who take over the grill, but have no idea how to barbecue. I hate people who dont eat corn on the cob the right way. I hate clueless picnickers who eat corn on the cob and squirt me in the face. I hate people who schedule picnics on
rainy days. I hate people who hog the umbrella. I hate anyone who steals the sheets.

I hate people who encroach on MY side of
the bed. I hate people who have sides of the bed. I hate people who invade my space. I hate lovers who have the lost romance. I hate people who play dreadful
songs on jukeboxes. I hate people who share bad iTunes libraries. I hate people who wont tell me how much money they make. I hate people who will. I hate people who will.

I hate unfriendly store greeters. I hate the perky cashier. I hate fast food attendants who get my
order wrong. I hate the guy on the phone
who takes my food order,
who I just cant understand. I hate people who just dont care. I hate everyone whose diet starts tomorrow. I hate everyone whose diet starts tomorrow.

I hate anyone who doesnt have to diet. I hate the smartass who invented a size zero. I hate whoever decided male, female, and childrens clothing should follow different rules. I hate any seamstress who has to take my measurements. I hate anal people who only eat seven chips because that constitutes one serving. I hate people who go to extremes.

I hate people who get their moneys worth
at a buffet. I hate people who have limits. I hate people who always are in a good mood. I hate people who have looked through my boring medicine cabinet. I hate people at the pharmacy who wonder whats wrong with me when I pick up my prescription. I hate people who dont think they need
happy pills.

I hate people who see the glass half full, even when it is half empty. I hate people who never have anything nice to say. I hate people who rain on other peoples parade. I hate nontalented people in parades. I hate everyone over the age of twelve and under the age of sixty who wears tighty-whities.