Giosia - Nadia Gs Bitchin kitchen cookbook : rock your kitchen and let the boys clean up the mess

Copyright 2009 by B360 Media, Inc.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

ISBN 978-1-59921-441-2

Printed in the United States of America

10987654321

Disclaimer: The information in this book is true and complete to the best of our knowledge. All recommendations are made without guarantee on the part of the author or publisher. The author and publisher disclaim any liability in connection with the use of this information. The characters in this book are fictional. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is strictly coincidental.

When I was growing up I was always jealous of my moms prowess in the kitchen: the way shed be able to whack me with a slipper as she answered the phone, all the while pouring a steady stream of salt into the pasta water, just feeling the perfect amount. It was witchcraft! She never had a measuring cup; I never saw her meticulously quantify of a teaspoon of anything. Ever. Around the house there were no written recipes, nor at my *N onnas, or at her N onnas. If you were to ask my mother how much salt goes into a quart of water, shed tell you, annoyed: *Ma, what do I know?! You look, you feel, you taste. And that was that. You look, you feel, you taste.

I was so aggravated by this as a teen that I rebelled against the *Casalinga style of Italian cooking, snatching up any recipe that had irrefutable amounts, bullet points, friggin diagrams! And with this arsenal of tangible instructions in hand, I set out to vengefully make the biggest, best meal anyone had ever tasted. Oh, and if someone were to ask me how much salt I used, Id cordially reply: Why, 1.78 teaspoons, Madame But no one ever asked, because all those meals sucked. They sucked hard, and sucked for years. They never came together. Maybe I was following the wrong recipes, or maybe it takes more than a set of measuring spoons to make a good meal. Maybe it is witchcraft.

Or knowing your ingredients. And how do you get to know your ingredients? Well, you look, you feel, you taste. By trial and error, you realize that a whole head of garlic for 1 cup of tomato puree is a bit much. You make a mental note. And as you sit there, defiantly shkoffing a plate of nasty pasta, hoping that the next forkful will miraculously reveal itself as delicious, getting progressively more full, and progressively more aware of how much fucking garlic is in this godforsaken sauce, you learn. It haunts you, from the mess in the kitchen to the hole in your wallet to the indigestion. Some of us give up at this point, figure well never learn to cook and order out for the rest of our days.

But some of us dont. Some of us rise up to the challenge because food is too important. It was the first thing that ever gave you comfort, before sex, drugs, or rock and roll. Because the pleasure you get from eating or watching someone succumb to your culinary genius is too primal, too satisfying, too powerful to ever not hold in the crook of your wooden spoon.

Its witchcraft baby.

We did own The Good Housekeeping Illustrated Cookbook, which was used once for a fashionably bland curry in the mid-80s. It then got buried in the Wedding/Communion/Confirmation video drawer and was never seen again.

Always try to get your hands on organic-certified ingredients. Dont get me wrong, this isnt a hippie cookbook, but Im a firm believer that you shouldnt put anything in your mouth thats chock-full of sketchy hormones, antibiotics, or chemicals (past the age of 19.) Almost all cities have a farmers market and this is where the best ingredients are found. But beware, just because youre at the farmers market doesnt mean everything is organic, so if youre not sure, ask.