Brudy - If at First You Dont...

If at First You Don't...

John Brudy

Transcriber's note:

This etext was produced from AmazingStories June, 1960. Extensive research did not uncoverany evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication wasrenewed.

"What's the matter, anyway?" Amos Jordan snapped at hisassistant. "Is everyone in the Senate losing their mind?"

"No more than usual," said Clements, the undersecretary. "It'sjust a matter of sentiment."

"Sentiment?" Jordan poured himself a glass of lemonade. "What'ssentiment got to do with it? It's just a standard proceduralproblem."

"Well, not exactly," began Clements soothingly. "After all, now,'58 Beta was the first long-lived satellite ever launched, and thefirst successful shot of the old Vanguard series. People are proudif it. It's a sort of monument to our early efforts inastronautics."

Jordan sipped experimentally, adding a little sugar.

"But, Clem, the sky's full of the things," he complained. "Theremust be a hundred fifty of them in orbit right now. They're amenace to navigation. If this one's due to fall out, I say goodriddance."

Clements spread his hands helplessly.

"I agree, chief. But, believe me, a lot of people have made uptheir minds about this thing. Some want to let it burn up. Somewant to retrieve it and stash it in a museum. Either way it's adecision we're not going to reach in this office."

Jordan tossed down the rest of his lemonade.

"I'd like to know why not," he snapped, almost bristling.

"Well, frankly this thing is moving pretty fast." Clementsfished a facsimile sheet out of his jacket pocket. "Everybody'sgetting into the act." He handed the sheet across the desk. "Readthis; it'll bring you up to date."

Jordan stared at the sheet.

"Senate Committee Probes Beta," ran the lead, followedby,

"The Senate Advisory Committee for Astronautics beganhearing testimony this morning in an effort to determine the fateof satellite '58 Beta. Mr. Claude Wamboldt, leader of the CCSB(Citizens' Committee to Save Beta), testified that the cost ofretrieving Beta from orbit would be trivial compared to its valueas an object of precious historical significance. He suggested theSmithsonian Institution as an appropriate site for the exhibit. Atthe same time the incumbent Senator from Mr. Wamboldt's districtfiled a bill in the Senate which would add a complete wing to theSmithsonian to house this satellite and other similar historicobjects. In later testimony Mr. Orville Larkin, leader of theunnamed committee representing those in opposition to the CCSBstated that his group felt that to snatch Beta from orbit at thismoment of its greatest glory would be contrary to natural law andthat he and his supporters would never concede to any plan to saveit."

Jordan raised his head and stared over the fax sheet atClements. "Am I going out of my mind, or did this reallyhappen?"

"It sure did and is," said Clements. "Later on, I amtold, Wamboldt threw a chair at Larkin, and the committee recessedafter declaring both men in contempt."

Jordan shook his head.

"Why didn't somebody tell me about this?"

"I sent you a ten page memo about it last week," objectedClements, somewhat aggrieved. "Gave you the whole story withextrapolations."

"Memo! You know I never read memos! I ought to fire you Iwould if I could you you 'appointee.'"

Clements shook his head warningly. "Better not, chief. You'llneed me for the briefing."

"Briefing? What briefing?"

"The briefing. You're scheduled to testify beforethe committee tomorrow afternoon at three."

Senator Darius: Mr. Jordan, will you please statewhether or not there is a satellite body known as '58 Beta?

Mr. Jordan: Yes, sir, there is.

Senator D: Will you describe its presentorbit?

Mr. J: I'd be glad to, Senator. It now has aperigee slightly below 110 miles and an apogee of about 400 miles.The last perigee occurred 400 miles last of the Seychelles Islandsabout 35 minutes ago. Roughly its present position is about 250miles above Manus Island.

Senator D: When do you expect it to enter theatmosphere for the final plunge to its death?

Mr. J: (bridling) Well, Senator, we in theSecretariat don't usually refer to such an occurrence in exactlythose terms. It's really just a problem in celestial mechanics tous, and

Senator D: (glaring) Your administrative assistanttestified a few moments ago, sir, that '58 Beta has had a life of185 years. Will you kindly explain to the committee how anythingwhich has had a life can end in anything but death?

Mr. J: I uh I believe I appreciateyour point of view, Senator. '58 Beta experiences a very steepre-entry at each perigee. According to our computers it willdisintegrate on the 82nd or 83rd revolution following that of 2:48Greenwich crossing this afternoon.

Senator D: Tell us, Mr. Jordan how manyrevolutions about the Mother Planet has '58 Beta made since itslaunching?

Mr. J: (hastily working his slide rule) Upwards ofeight hundred thousand, I should say. I can provide you with anexact figure if you wish.

Senator D: That won't be necessary, Mr. Jordan.Eight hundred thousand, give or take a few paltry thousand, isclose enough. Eight hundred thousand endless, lonely revolutionsabout an unthinking, uncaring, ungrateful world is quite enough.Quite enough, Mr. Jordan. Now sir; (squinting over his glasses)what do you think is the proper action to be taken in the matter ofretrieving this historic satellite from its orbit so that it may bepreserved as a living memorial to the gallant efforts of thoseearly pioneers those brave and intrepid men of CapeCanaveral to stand forevermore as a beacon and a challengeto our school children, to our students, our aspirants forcandidacy to the Space Academy and to our citizens for all time tocome?

Mr. J: Nothing, Senator.

Senator D: (aghast) Am I to understand, Mr.Jordan, that you are suggesting that this symbol, this quintessenceof an historic and magnificent era in mankind's history thisunique and precious object should be allowed to destroyitself and be lost forever?

Mr. J: (squirming) Senator, there are dozens ofthose things up there. Every year one or two burns up. They have nousefulness. They're a menace to navigation. I

Senator D: (interrupting loudly) Mr. Jordan, whatwas the date of your appointment to your present position?

Mr. J: April 11, 2138.

Senator D: Do you consider yourself fullyqualified to hold this august position?

Mr. J: (tight lipped) Senator, I am a graduate ofthe Administrative Academy, the Logistics Staff School, and I have31 years seniority in my department. Furthermore

Senator D: (banging his gavel) Mr. Jordan, please!Try to remember where you are! We had enough trouble yesterday withwitnesses before this committee. There will be no more of it. AndMr. Jordan, while it may be true that your technical qualificationsfor serving in your present position may be adequate, it is clearto me and, I am sure, apparent to other members of this committeethat your feeling for history and the relation of this problem tothe destiny of the human race leave much to be desired. And, Mr.Jordan, may I emphasize