Candace Simpson-Giles - How to Be a Lady Revised and Expanded: A Contemporary Guide to Common Courtesy

HOW TO
BE A
Lady

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HOW TO
BE A
Lady

REVISED AND EXPANDED

A CONTEMPORARY GUIDE
TO COMMON COURTESY

CANDACE SIMPSON-GILES

2001, 2012 by Candace Simpson-Giles

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

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ISBN: 978-1-4016-0459-2

The Library of Congress has cataloged an earlier edition of this book as follows:

Simpson-Giles, Candace, 1953
How to be a lady / by Candace Simpson-Giles.
p. cm.
ISBN: 978-1-5585-3939-6
1. Etiquette for women. I. Title.
BJ1856 .S56 2001
395.1'44dc21
2001004337

Printed in the United States of America

12 13 14 15 16 WOR 6 5 4 3 2 1

To my mother, Margie Smith, who taught me that being a lady was one of the most important parts of being a woman

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter One
A Lady Experiences Real Life

Chapter Two
A Lady Gets Dressed

Chapter Three
A Lady Goes to Dinner

Chapter Four
A Lady Says the Right Thing

Chapter Five
A Lady Gives a Party

Chapter Six
A Lady Goes to a Party

Chapter Seven
A Lady and Her Friends

Chapter Eight
A Lady Goes to the Office

Chapter Nine
A Lady Takes Care of Herself

Chapter Ten
Extreme Etiquette

ix

W hen How to Be a Lady was first published in 2001, the world was a vastly different place. The emergence of the Internet as how we communicate, shop, and meet new people has definitely been a game changer in the world of etiquette as we know it. In todays world we do most of our communicating on cell phones and computers. Going through security at the airport is much more complicated than it was ten years ago. But despite how different things are, the principles of good manners remain the same. Please and Thank you still work on almost every occasion. And treating others the way you want to be treated is still the way a lady should conduct her life. So despite the new pressures women today feel because of our changing world, it is important to maintain the patience and civility that every lady has.

Being a woman does not automatically make one a lady. The term lady has evolved to mean many new and different things over the past 100 years. Manners, attitudes, appropriate dress, and social mores have changed so dramatically that our grandmothers definition of being a lady hardly resembles todays expectations.

x

The rapid evolution of the modern woman over the last century has brought with it both confusion and fulfillment. Women have stepped back and asked themselves just exactly how to properly handle their new status and situations that arise in their professional careers and active personal lives. White gloves and hats are not as much a part of our dress standard as they were for the women of earlier generations, nor does a woman find that she has to have a male escort to attend functions.

A lady by todays definition knows that educating herself in every way possible, from higher education to common sense manners, empowers her to become a woman of accomplishment and poise. She knows that it is not the dress size she wears or the money she possesses that brings her satisfaction in life. A lady knows that beauty and wealth can be fleeting, but her inner character is the measure by which others will ultimately judge her as a person. Her courtesies, the high esteem in which she holds herself and others, and her sincere words of praise and thoughtfulness will reflect her strong values and place her ahead in the minds and hearts of those who know her. Being thought of as a lady may be one of the highest compliments a woman can receive in life.

Chapter One
A LADY EXPERIENCES REAL LIFE

A lady is always on her toes; she realizes that every encounter makes lasting impressions.

A lady knows how to make others feel at ease.

A lady is gracious and thankful for any gesture of common courtesy directed toward her.

When a lady is asked to be a bridesmaid, she accepts the request as an honor. If she does not particularly like the dress, she keeps this to herself.

A lady does not use her camera phone in ways that intrude upon the privacy of others.

A lady understands that if the taking of photographs is prohibited at any concert or other performances or in an art gallery that also means camera-phone pictures or videos.

A lady doesnt ask dating couples when they are getting married. Likewise, she doesnt ask married couples when or if they are planning to have children.

A lady never compliments one person when she is in a group setting. She chooses a moment when the two of them are alone to offer her compliment.

A lady knows how to prioritize her life in order to make herself available to family, friends, career, and other important considerations in her life. She also knows when she is feeling stretched too thin and how to pull back and sort out her priorities.