Kendra Wilkinson - Sliding into home : a memoir

Sliding
into Home

A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
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This work is a memoir. It reflects the authors present recollection of her experiences over a period of years. Certain names, locations, and identifying characteristics have been changed. Dialogue and events have been recreated from memory, and, in some cases, have been compressed to convey the substance of what was said or what occurred. Some scenes are composites of events, and the time line for some events has been compressed.

Copyright 2010 by Kendra Wilkinson

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First Gallery Books hardcover edition July 2010

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Designed by Jaime Putorti

Manufactured in the United States of America

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Wilkinson, Kendra.
Sliding into home : a memoir / by Kendra Wilkinson ; with Jon Warech.
p. cm.
1. Wilkinson, Kendra. 2. Television personalitiesUnited StatesBiography.
3. Models (Persons)United StatesBiography. I. Warech, Jon. II. Title.
PN1992.4.W547A3 2010
791.45028092dc22
[B] 2010017539

ISBN 978-1-4391-8091-4
ISBN 978-1-4391-8093-8 (ebook)

To my son, Hank IV,
who marks the beginning of a
wonderful new chapter in my life.

When you star in a reality show, the entire world thinks they know you. Fans see you as the girl next door, tabloid editors see you as a story line, and paparazzi see you as a target. At the end of the day, they are all wrong.

Yes, Im on TV, and yes, that makes me a celebrity, but I wake up every morning, look in the mirror, and see Kendra, a regular girl from humble beginnings who nowadays gets to do some pretty amazing shit. The girl you saw on The Girls Next Door and Kendra is only part of who I am. I really am a fun girl who likes to party, and I will kick some ass on a soccer or softball field, but Im also a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, and so many other things to many different people.

Ultimately, Im a real chick with real emotions, real concerns, and a growing sense of responsibility.

The crazy thing about television is that you are rarely allowed to grow. You are molded into a character based on some of your strongest traits and you are forced to stay that way for your entire television life. I was nineteen when The Girls Next Door started. All I cared about was having fun. If Id written this book back then, it would be 250 pages about which tequila tastes better (Patrn) and when its all right to flash your boobs (always).

In the past year and a half, my life has completely changed. I moved out of the Playboy Mansion, got married, and gave birth to my baby boy, Hank Jr. The way I look at life and fill my days now is as far from that nineteen-year-old as you can possibly imagine. I set a dinner table every night instead of dancing on one at a club. I wake up at five A.M. instead of passing out at that hour after a long night of partying. And if Im whipping out a boob, its probably because Hank Jr. is hungry.

But I wouldnt be the Kendra I am today without the life experiences Ive had and, more important, the people who have been in my life throughout this entire journey.

Through all the good and bad, my mom has stuck by me. She didnt pick me up every time I fell; she let me get up on my own and learn from my mistakes, but was always there when I needed her. Hugh Hefner was the same way. Hes the kindest, most thoughtful man on the planet, and he saw strength in me that I didnt even know existed. He let me fail and succeed on my own because he believed in me more than I believed in myself at the time. Holly and Bridgetthere was probably a time when they wanted me to fail, but we all became good friends and learned to not judge a book by its cover. And Hank, well, he gave me his heart. True love changes a person. One day you care only about yourself, and then, before you know it, you are putting someone else first all the time.

Its because of them that Im not the one-dimensional character you see on TV. Behind the laugh you hear on television, there is a girl who has been through some intense shitstuff Im proud of and stuff Im not so proud of. But my life experiences shaped my personality and because of that experience I know Ill be a great mom. I needed to fail and succeed, to have loved and lost, and even to have shaken my ass on a dance floor to become a well-rounded, confident mother who wont freak out every time Hank Jr. starts to cry.

Without those experiences and the people who were along for the ride, who the hell knows where Id be? I was always on the move as a kid, always getting into trouble, and I never had a clue where I would end up. My life was crazy, and it only got more insane when I packed up and moved into the Playboy Mansion. I was a wild child who could never sit still.

To this day, I still am all over the place. I moved from the Mansion to a condo in the Valley to Philadelphia to Indianapolis and back to L.A., all in the past year. I dont know where life will take meIve always been a free spirit in that waybut I do know that with Hank and Hank Jr. by my side it doesnt matter where we live. As long as the three of us are together I will always feel like our house is a home... and thats the best feeling in the world.

CHAPTER 1

A Tale of Two Kendras

So youll be naked?

Well, Ill be painted, I corrected Zack, my live-in boyfriend.

What does that mean?

I dont know, but Im sure it will be fine.

I wasnt sure spending an evening as a painted girl at Hugh Hefners seventy-eighth birthday party would actually be fine, but I was hoping it would turn out to be. At the very least, I would make a couple hundred dollars, meet some cool people, and get a chance to check out the Playboy Mansion. How could I turn that down?

And besides, it was Zack who had initiated the whole thing. Hed taken me to the car show where a photographer had said he wanted to set up a photo shoot with me, and at the time Zack was all for it. So it seemed totally logical that when the photographer posted the photos on One Model Placea sort of MySpace for modelsif any work came from it, Zack would support me.

Well, the photographer posted the photos, and that same day a guy named Mark called from Playboy and asked about me.

The truth is, I wasnt exactly sure what the Playboy Mansion wasor who Hugh Hefner was, for that matter. I knew about the bunny; I had an uncle who worked at the Playboy Club in Atlantic City, and he would send my brother and me T-shirts and sweatshirts with the bunny on them when we were kids. Id wear them to school and all the kids would tease me and say