Jackson Bird - Sorted: Growing Up, Coming Out, and Finding My Place (A Transgender Memoir)

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Copyright 2019 by Jackson Bird

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This publication is a memoir. It reflects the authors present recollections of his experiences over a period of years. Some names and identifying characteristics of individuals have been changed. Some dialogue has been re-created from memory. Some scenes are composites of events. Events have been compressed, and in some cases their chronology has been changed.

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First Tiller Press hardcover edition September 2019

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Interior design by Patrick Sullivan

Jacket design by Sarah Smith

Author photo by Sloane Taylor

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.

ISBN 978-1-9821-3075-6

ISBN 978-1-9821-3076-3 (ebook)

to my mom

For always letting me be myself, even when you didnt understand.

And to all the trans people who came before me, who fought tirelessly for their rights, and without whom this book, and my life as I enjoy it, would not be possible.

I sometimes think we Sort too soon.

J. K. Rowling

Albus Dumbledore

Transgender perhaps one of the most confusing and misunderstood words in the English language.

Julia Serano

I spent the better part of my childhood and adolescence grappling with intense feelings that I didnt have the words to explain. If someone had presented me with a simple glossary like the one that follows, I couldve sorted things out a lot sooner.

While this book will take you on my journey of discovering most of these terms, I thought it might be helpful to have a place to flip back to that defines them in clear language and adds some context beyond just my own story.

Transgender: Someone whose gender does not match the sex they were assigned at birth.

Cisgender: Someone whose gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth.

Nonbinary: Someone whose gender is beyond the binary of male and female, whether that means being neither, both, somewhere in between, another gender entirely, or some combination of any of those. This can include, but is not limited to, people who are genderqueer, bigender, genderfluid, agender, and more. In addition to being an umbrella term, nonbinary can also be used as its own singular identity. Some nonbinary people identify as transgender, and some do not.

Transition: The act of socially, legally, or medically adapting to live life as ones affirmed gender. This might include coming out, changing your name, undergoing hormone replacement therapy, or more. Further exploration of this in chapter thirteen.

Trans Man: Someone who was assigned female at birth but is male. Note the space between trans and man, indicating that trans is an adjective. Trans men are men, even without the adjective. They are not a separate category of transmen.

Trans Woman: Someone who was assigned male at birth but is female. Note the space between trans and woman, indicating that trans is an adjective. Trans women are women, even without the adjective. They are not a separate category of transwomen.

FTM: An initialism for Female-to-Male, which refers to people who were assigned female at birth but are male.

MTF: An initialism for Male-to-Female, which refers to people who were assigned male at birth but are female.

Transsexual: Someone whose gender does not match the sex they were assigned at birth, usually in reference to binary trans women and trans men who undergo some type of medical transition. It has gone out of favor with many people in the current and upcoming generations, but remains an important identity marker as distinct from transgender for older generations.

Transmasculine: An inclusive way to refer to people who were assigned female at birth and fall along the masculine spectrum with regard to expression, transition, identity, or more. This can include trans men as well as some nonbinary and gender-nonconforming people.

Transfeminine: An inclusive way to refer to people who were assigned male at birth and fall along the feminine spectrum with regard to expression, transition, identity, or more. This can include trans women as well as some nonbinary and gender-nonconforming people.

Intersex: A person who was born with any number of conditions in which their sexual or reproductive anatomy does not adhere to the typical definitions of male or female . This is not a type of transgender identity, though some intersex people are also transgender.

Gender-Nonconforming: Someone whose gender expression does not adhere to typical expectations of their affirmed gender. Not all gender-nonconforming people are transgender, and not all transgender people are gender-nonconforming. Binary transgender or transsexual people in particular (i.e., trans women and trans men) conform to their affirmed gender and are therefore not gender-nonconforming. This term is often used in reference to historical figures whose gender identity we cannot be certain of, cisgender people who subvert their gender in one way or another, and children who may be exploring their gender (other terms for children include gender expansive and gender creative).

Gender Dysphoria: The anxiety or unease experienced with regard to the incongruence between ones innate sense of gender and ones assigned sexincluding how one is perceived by others, ones relationship to ones body, and more.

Hormone Replacement Therapy: The administration of androgens or anti-androgens to induce secondary sex characteristics of an individuals affirmed gender. Sometimes referred to as cross-sex hormones, HRT, or simply hormones. You may also hear it referred to as E for estrogen or T for testosterone.

Binding: The use of a compression device to flatten ones chest. To combat unsafe practices like tape or compression bandages, many companies produce safely designed nylon compression vests called binders for transmasculine people to wear. For more on binding, see chapter ten.

Gender Affirmation Surgery: Any number of surgical alterations trans people might elect to undergo as part of their transition. Many trans people never undergo any type of surgery due to cost, extenuating health concerns, or personal choice. No type of medical procedure is required in order be trans.