Michele Angello - Raising the Transgender Child: A Complete Guide for Parents, Families, and Caregivers

Table of Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

As news of Caitlyn Jenners transition hit the press, literary agent Wendy Sherman picked up the phone and called Alisa and Michele, saying, There is no good guide for parents of transgender children. You both should write oneand you should write it... now! She was persistent, too. If not for Wendys perseverance, this project might have remained the last item on our collective to-do liststhe very item that never gets crossed off because it never gets done.

Wendys cheerleading led us to Laura Mazer, a book editor who is just as brilliant as she is encouraging and kind. Her unbridled enthusiasm made it clear that Seal Press was the perfect home for us. Her suggestions vastly improved the manuscript. Were enormously grateful to her and everyone on the Seal team.

Without the real-life experiences of parents and of gender-diverse people, this book would have remained a dry collection of facts and statistics. Several people bravely opened their hearts to Alisa, revealing the hardest, darkest, and most emotional experiences of their lives. Many of these people asked to remain anonymous to protect their privacy or the privacy and safety of their children. We wont name them here for obvious reasons, but we do want them to know that we could never have done it without them. Their narratives breathed life and beauty into this book.

Among the people we can mention by name, our deepest thanks goes to Michelle and Garfield Wilson, Robyn Ryan, Jake Graf, Samantha Jo-Dato, Stu Rasmussen, Jacob Tobia, and A. J. Shaeffer.

Several people also made room in their incredibly busy schedules to answer questions about their research, insights, and experience. Many also carefully reviewed sections of this book for accuracy. Their insights made this book so much better than we could have made it without their help. Specifically, were indebted to:

Asaf Orr, Esq., of the National Center for Lesbian Rights

Norman Spack, MD, of Bostons Childrens Hospital

Kristina Olson, PhD, of the TransYouth Project at the University of Washington

Johanna Olson-Kennedy, MD, of Childrens Hospital, Los Angeles

Kathie Moehlig of TransFamily Support Services

Alex Patchin McNeill of More Light Presbyterians

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Michele Angello, PhD works with gender-variant and transgender youth and adults. She has appeared on Larry King Live, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and in various documentaries on transgender issues. She also developed the first graduate course in the United States that focused on clinical issues in transgender communities. She is an adjunct faculty member at Widener University and is identified globally as a transgender youth specialist.

Alisa Bowman is an advocate for transgender children and a professional writer and ghostwriter who has penned more than thirty titles, including seven New York Times bestsellers. As a journalist, she has written for many national outlets, including Readers Digest, Prevention, Parents, Family Circle, and the parenting section of Today.com.

Selected Titles from Seal Press

Lets Get This Straight: The Ultimate Handbook for Youth with LGBTQ Parents, by Tina Fakhrid-Deen with COLAGE. $16.00, 978-1-58005-333-4. Lets Get This Straight provides young people with one or more gay, lesbian, bi, or trans parents with the tools to combat homophobia, take pride in their alternative family structures, and speak out against injustice.

Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation, edited by Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergman. $16.95, 978-1-58005-308-2. This anthology collects and contextualizes the work of this generations trans and genderqueer forward-thinkersnew voices from the stage, on the streets, in the workplace, in the bedroom, and on the pages and websites of the worlds most respected news sources.

Transgender History: Seal Studies, by Susan Stryker. $14.95, 978-1-58005-224-5. An introduction to transgender and queer theory from the mid19th century through today.

Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scape-goating of Femininity, by Julia Serano. $15.95, 978-1-58005-154-5. Biologist and trans woman Julie Serrano reveals a unique perspective on femininity, masculinity, and gender identity.

Got Teens?: The Doctor Moms Guide to Sexuality, Social Media and Other Adolescent Realities, by Logan Levkoff, PhD and Jennifer Wider, MD. $16.00, 978-1-58005-506-2. Adolescent health and sexuality experts provide parents of middle schoolers a way to decode their teens health questions and behavior.

Real Girl Real World: A Guide to Finding Your True Self, by Heather M. Gray and Samantha Phillips. $17.00, 978-1-58005-133-0. In this fun and essential guide to growing up, real girls share their experiences, showing that theres no one right way to navigate the twisting road of adolescence.

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In the following pages, weve attempted to list as many resources as possible. Search through the boldface headings to find what you are looking for.

Affirming Faith Communities and Resources

If you are in search of an affirming place of worship, the following organizations and resources may be able to help.

A group of Buddhist practitioners (transbuddhists.org) offers a competence guide, blog, and other resources.

Gay Christians Network (gaychristian.net) offers conferences, speaking events, videos, and message boards.

Dignity Philadelphia (dignityphila.org) is a Catholic group composed of LGBT people and their allies.

The Human Rights Campaign offers Gender Identity and Our Faith Communities: A Congregational Guide for Transgender Advocacy as a free download.

The Institute for Welcoming Resources (part of the National LGBT Task Force) offers an online search tool that allows you to find a welcoming, affirming church in your area (welcomingresources.org/directory.htm).

New Ways Ministry (newwaysministry.org)a faith-based advocacy group for LGBT peopleincludes a number of resources on its website.

Books

Childrens Books

Backwards Day, by S. Bear Bergman, is about a child who eagerly looks forward to backwards day, the one day of the year she can turn into a boy.

The Gender Fairy, by Jo Hirst and Libby Wirt, tells the stories of two children who take steps toward living authentically.

I am Jazz, by Jessica Herthel and Jazz Jennings, is a childrens book based on the real-life experience of Jazz Jennings.

Jacobs New Dress, by Sarah Hoffman and Ian Hoffman, tells the story of a little boy who wants to wear dresses to school.

My Princess Boy, by Cheryl Kilodavis, is about a fluid boy who likes to wear dresses and jeans.

Normal Norman, by Tara Lazar, isnt technically a book about the transgender experience, but it encourages kids to question the ideas of normalcy and conformity.

Red: A Crayons Story, by Michael Hall, is about a blue crayon that was mistakenly labeled red.

The Royal Heart, by Greg McGoon is a fairy tale about a transgender princess named Lyric.

10,000 Dresses, by Marcus Ewert and Rex Ray, explores the story of Bailey, who dreams of dresses, but no one wants to hear about his dreams.

Whoever You Are, by Mem Fox, offers a heart-warming, affirming message that children are not alone.