Gross - Elly: my true story of the Holocaust

My mother had me soon after she returned from the concentration camp. She was fifteen when the Hungarians and Germans took her away. She came home after the terrible ordeal to find her parents and her brother gone. She returned to her home to find it occupied by strangers, who proceeded to chase her away.

Mom dreamed of going to school, but she needed to find a home. She met my dad, who was eight years older, and got married. She skipped her teenage years; she never had time to develop into an adult. She struggled together with her husband, also a survivor, to forget and to start a new life.

My father was a farmer before the war, but when the Communists took over, he had to give his land to the collective and take a government job in the next village. He was always at work, and Mom was lonely and kept me close to her. I was her ray of sunshine, her beautiful little bright doll, the doll she was unable to have as a child. She spoiled me. I got the best toys my parents could afford, the only tomato in the house, the prettiest clothes that could be found. At the same time, Mother wanted me to be strong, to know about life. She wanted me to read at four, learn to sew at five, and be able to cook when I was six. I was sick a lot, and our village did not have a doctor. The school had only four grades, which were taught by one teacher in one large room. Mom was determined to move to the city, where there were better schools and good medical care, but the Communist Party forbade anyone to move there unless he or she had a house and a job. After my brother was born and I once again became ill, Mother somehow managed to get a job in the city. We moved to the house my parents were building there, but only one room was finished. Dad had to stay behind for another year until he was able to get a job as well. I always remember Mother striving to achieve her goals and never taking no for an answer if there was any stone left unturned.

I dont remember at what age I became aware of the horrible ordeal my parents had gone through during the Holocaust or at what age I saw the first book describing those horrible experiences. I just know that at some point in my life my mother showed it to me and explained why she did not have her parents or her brother. It was a while before I understood that she felt guilty because she was unable to save her young mother.

Mother had a few friends. They were all survivors and all older than her, because she was one of the youngest who survived the camps. I was amazed that all these survivors managed to function, have children, go to the theater, care about life, after the ordeal they went through.

There was always the shadow of anti-Semitism around us. Our house had to be spotless, our appearance had to be neat. We did not want to literally be dirty Jews. I also felt the need to make amends for my parents. I needed to help around the house, and I had to be a good student. They had suffered enough.

Later my family moved to the United States, and Mother went on to do the things that survivors do. Together with my father, she achieved the American dream. Mother got a high school education, helped my father build a business, buy a house and a car. Her children went to college and started successful careers. She had grandchildren who, in turn, went on to good colleges and are starting great careers. Mother got a college degree at the age of sixty-nine. She was the oldest in her classes.

Now she has found her purpose in life. She will not let people forget the atrocities. She will teach young people that prejudice of all kinds is wrong, teach that discrimination and violence are wrong. She went on the March of the Living with young people several times. She travels to schools all over the country to speak to students and writes books to convey her message.

My mother, Elly Gross, is not only a survivor; she is also an achiever.

Agneta Weisz